Am I Embarrassed or Ashamed? Is there a difference?

Sometimes I think so, but maybe not so much. I am a classic case of addiction transferrance. I am having trouble finding resources for my problem. I do know that I'm not alone, I hope not...but I haven't heard here, and I am thinking of going to a medical source. Specifically, I had no addictions EXCEPT food (and if you would have pointed it out to me at the time I wouldn't have agreed with you.) I am reading here of those who had the surgery and had drug/tobacco/sex/gambing/shopping, etc (in the past ) issues, in addition to food. And yes, it is making me feel like an outcast of sorts. I value and respect everyone's stories, but I feel like I'm the only one with my story. I have replaced eating with drinking. Food makes me ill, physically. So I discovered that beer doesn't. Not even the next day. But it does create many other problems. Guilt mostly. I know I used to feel guilt at bedtime-in my own head-with food...I laid in bed and cursed myself. And it may be a bit of the same, but the guilt is delayed now, til the next morning. But it affects more people. So yes, I'm just venting, I suppose. That's why you're here! Lori

It is okay and normal for you to feel as you do. I just want you to know you are NOT alone. I was not entirely aware of the subtle ways addictive thinking works in our lives until I started working on the issue. If you start to explore it you may become aware of other ways you act out/or not. What you NEED to know is that it IS progressive. It will get worse and it will start having arms and legs reaching into other areas. By all means seek medical help.There are many ways to approach it. I really feel at home in a 12 step program but that may not be for you. Just do not close your mind to the idea in case you will need it. Always feel welcome here. Laurie

Thank you Laurie, I appreciate the support and validation. More than you will ever know. But after 18+ mos out I thought I would figure it out or pull it together. But I may still... Thanks again, your support is a true start and inspiration. I just don't want to feel alone anymore. Lori

Hugs to you Lori! Please know that you are NOT alone in this fight. Your post mirrored alot of what I was saying and I know what you are going through. Unfortunately as much as I wi**** didnt happen, but when I got kicked out of my house a month ago and hurt my family SO much, it was the best thing that could have ever happened to me. ONE DAY AT A TIME.. I wish you all the best and sending you reassuring hugs that you can do it! Dana