Not what I was expecting

But then again, when is it ever? I heard a saying: Serenity is in inverse proportion to expectations. That's me for sure. The more I expect results, try to manipulate, control...the faster the head squirrels run. When I just turn a blind eye to everything and do what I need to do, I'm much happier. Hard to do after having to lose so much weight and relearning how to eat. There's always that lingering fear of losing control and gaining back the weight. But, seriously, each and every one of us is a diet expert and we know or are getting to know our bodies. We know what we should and shouldn't eat, how much exercise we need. For me, I just need to not stick junk in my mouth. I won't count cals/gms/measure...drives me insane. Hell hath no fury like a woman at 3pm with only 200 cals left for the day! So, I lost two pounds,but am up 1 from the 171 where I started. Go figure. Oh well, I gotta do what I gotta do. Sanely. No trying to trick the body with fasts or quick start diets. I really am in this for the long haul. I don't want to go back to yo yo behavior where I eat more than I should, then diet, repeat. No more wide pendulum swings, driving myself into a compulsive frenzy. It may take a little longer and require some patience, but eat and exercise in moderation, make good choices for my body, and it will get to where it needs to be. Now you gotta know it's not as easy as it sounds. The old me is screaming, I want it NOW!!!! Vicki

Some days are so much harder for me than others. I really struggle to get my suppliments in. I do not understand it because I never forgot my pills before I got clean! I don't do a consistant job of getting protein in and because I maintain my weight I think it is too easy to just say later. I do have this fear that I will wake up one day fat and or sick. I need to address this issue. It is a wake up to read others struggles it reminds me that I am not cured. Still always a work in progress. Laurie