Quick Check In (haha ok, not so quick)
Hello everybody! **waves**
Things are going well. My son is tolerable 
- mostly the only problems we have are "normal" teenager kinds of things. He will go to court next month (we're expecting probation), is looking for a job with no prompting from me, and is still attending outpatient therapy, just twice a week for now. We do family sessions once a month after school kicks back in.
The lexapro has really helped level out my moods. I no longer have any cravings, need any sleep aids, or tranquilizers of any kind - haven't in a couple of weeks actually. I am still having some pretty wild and surreal dreams, but they're kind of fun now. I've gotten into a routine of sorts, with times for reading, then bed...a set wake up time, time for breakfast, dinner (have had dinner every night with the kids [when they're all here] all around the table with NO tv since getting sober - this has been a BIG bonding time for us), chores etc. I'm finding my OCD manifests itself in these little exercises of controlling times to do things, what gets done etc, but so far I've not shoved it down the kids throats to an extreme degree with the exception of dinner. My house is still spotless however and all laundry stays pretty much caught up - as soon as enough collects for a load, I do it! That hasn't happened in YEARS!!!
My work stuff is improving too - I can concentrate more, and am finally getting better about not procrastinating and finding the joy in my work again. For so long, I just wasn't feeling it... but then again, I was not into anything for so long - including the simple joys in life. I'm impressing and "kicking butt" on the job once again, and am so grateful for my wonderful employer who has truly been supportive of me during the last month of turmoil!
I spent Sat night with Mr. Sweetie Pants - watching "chick flicks" (he's such a sweetheart) and cuddling in his lap on the loveseat. He cooked me supper, made me hot tea, we gave eachother backrubs... and eventually he drug a mattress into the living room so we could lie on the floor and watch our movies while all stretched out and relaxed by the candle light. It was sheer heaven to be held and snuggled and carressed - and let me tell you - the sexual side effects of the lexapro were NOT a problem at all! WOWOWEEEEEE Doing that 100% sober several times is such a rush! I kept thinking I was going to pass out (dizzy spells) for a while, but I think it was pure endorphins 
It was divine to sleep in his arms again after so long too...we'd not really had a full night together since my son had his episode and I had to spend so much time taking care of my family.
So anyhow - sorry if I've bene scarce. I'm getting into my head for once and kind of enjoying it. I have my cranky phases (mostly when situations around me seem out of my control), but I can actually usually check the OCD before it gets toooo bad (usually ) I'm still seeing my therapist, and feeling very hopeful and grateful. I love you all so much - I feel your joys, your sorrows, your triumphs - hell I feel sooooooo much these days. Sometimes I just cry for "no reason" at all other than the wave of emotion is so strong I dont' quite know what to do with it now that I'm not numbing them all. And it's perfectly OK to have those crying spells ... they don't last long, and they surprise me - I still *FEEL* Hallelulia! I tend to do it in church quite a bit and I remind myself of my grandpa who used to cry in church a lot from the overwhelming joy and love he felt. I miss him so much.
Goodnight my loves - sending you joy and hope and strength and big big hugs...and my utmost gratitude for being here to share with me, teach me, encourage me, scold me (gently of course) and remind me that I'm not a complete cuckoo!
MUAH! 
Michelle
- mostly the only problems we have are "normal" teenager kinds of things. He will go to court next month (we're expecting probation), is looking for a job with no prompting from me, and is still attending outpatient therapy, just twice a week for now. We do family sessions once a month after school kicks back in.
The lexapro has really helped level out my moods. I no longer have any cravings, need any sleep aids, or tranquilizers of any kind - haven't in a couple of weeks actually. I am still having some pretty wild and surreal dreams, but they're kind of fun now. I've gotten into a routine of sorts, with times for reading, then bed...a set wake up time, time for breakfast, dinner (have had dinner every night with the kids [when they're all here] all around the table with NO tv since getting sober - this has been a BIG bonding time for us), chores etc. I'm finding my OCD manifests itself in these little exercises of controlling times to do things, what gets done etc, but so far I've not shoved it down the kids throats to an extreme degree with the exception of dinner. My house is still spotless however and all laundry stays pretty much caught up - as soon as enough collects for a load, I do it! That hasn't happened in YEARS!!!
My work stuff is improving too - I can concentrate more, and am finally getting better about not procrastinating and finding the joy in my work again. For so long, I just wasn't feeling it... but then again, I was not into anything for so long - including the simple joys in life. I'm impressing and "kicking butt" on the job once again, and am so grateful for my wonderful employer who has truly been supportive of me during the last month of turmoil!
I spent Sat night with Mr. Sweetie Pants - watching "chick flicks" (he's such a sweetheart) and cuddling in his lap on the loveseat. He cooked me supper, made me hot tea, we gave eachother backrubs... and eventually he drug a mattress into the living room so we could lie on the floor and watch our movies while all stretched out and relaxed by the candle light. It was sheer heaven to be held and snuggled and carressed - and let me tell you - the sexual side effects of the lexapro were NOT a problem at all! WOWOWEEEEEE Doing that 100% sober several times is such a rush! I kept thinking I was going to pass out (dizzy spells) for a while, but I think it was pure endorphins It was divine to sleep in his arms again after so long too...we'd not really had a full night together since my son had his episode and I had to spend so much time taking care of my family.
So anyhow - sorry if I've bene scarce. I'm getting into my head for once and kind of enjoying it. I have my cranky phases (mostly when situations around me seem out of my control), but I can actually usually check the OCD before it gets toooo bad (usually ) I'm still seeing my therapist, and feeling very hopeful and grateful. I love you all so much - I feel your joys, your sorrows, your triumphs - hell I feel sooooooo much these days. Sometimes I just cry for "no reason" at all other than the wave of emotion is so strong I dont' quite know what to do with it now that I'm not numbing them all. And it's perfectly OK to have those crying spells ... they don't last long, and they surprise me - I still *FEEL* Hallelulia! I tend to do it in church quite a bit and I remind myself of my grandpa who used to cry in church a lot from the overwhelming joy and love he felt. I miss him so much.
Goodnight my loves - sending you joy and hope and strength and big big hugs...and my utmost gratitude for being here to share with me, teach me, encourage me, scold me (gently of course) and remind me that I'm not a complete cuckoo!
MUAH!
Michelle 
Glad you are experiencing some joys of sobriety. 
Hugs,
Trish Most Active
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