Am I just Hypersensitive?

I'm asking this because I'm not sure it's reasonable for me to feel the way I feel. As I may have mentioned, one huge contributing factor to my getting sober was the fact that my two best friends had what amounted to an "intervention" with me. While difficult to hear what they had to say, it was a very loving thing for them to do and truly showed how much they really DO support me (when doing the right things). One of these two friends brings up that conversation quite a bit in person, email and even told her family about it, who then felt the need to ask about and comment on my situation when I was over for a cookout last weekend. I don't think that she is consciously trying to hurt me in any way when she does this, but I also don't see why she feels the need to beat me over the head with it either. The latest mention was in reply to me saying that I was missing my bf and it had been nearly two months since I've seen him. This was her reply: "And...what time warp are you in? You just went to Big Steve's on June 2...the night before *that* inffamous Saturday night of our "reckoning" with you. I am sure it must SEEM like almost 2 months. ;) " I have to hear comments like that 2-3 times a week! I just don't see what the value is in referring to it like that constantly. It hurts and humiliates me all over again. I've owned up t my issues, taken steps to get right and am still doing the right things. Meanwhie, my other friend (a psych major currently in graduate schol) has not brought it up at ALL since I've been sober. I've done enough therapy to know that feelings aren't right or wrong - they just are, but I'm really struggling with the way this makes me feel. I replied to her email and let her know how those comments made me feel, and I did my best not to be defensive or bratty about it. I'm not sure why it bothers me so much, but I veel very defensive and angry towards her right now. Is this normal? I mean, I'm sure she wold be furious if I felt a need to mention some of her low points over and over again... but again I'm sure she's not intentioally trying to belittle me. I'm pretty sure it's reasonable to not expect to keep being humbled over and over again for the sme thing, but I feel guilty for feeling so angry about it. Does that make sense? hugs, Michelle

you are not hypersensitive. You mention that you know they did that because they care. Maybe you should say to her, I appreciate all your help (maybe she wants some credit for YOUR success), but I really don't want to rehash the past all the time. I cannot change the past nor does it help me to dwell on it. If that doesnt work tell her she needs to go to alanon. lol

Thanks. Logically, I know that she is just being insensitive, and yes, probably does want some credit for my success on some level. It's more likely about her than about me. Hopefully she will take my telling her how it makes me feel in the spirit in which it was given and we can avoid bad feelings. I'm a firm believer in not letting things fester, but I probalby should have "sat on my reply" for a few hours before sending it also hee hee. Again, it wasn't defensive or bratty, I simply said: "If I were still screwing up, I can see how it might be necessary to continuously remind me of "that infamous Saturday night of reckoning", but I'm not, and my feelings get immensely hurt every time it's brought up - especially when people out side of our intimate circle mention or ask me questions about it. I do still have my pride; it's hurtful and very embarrassing. I realize things take time to become "in the past", but it's unfair to keep beating me up about it - even in jest. Not enough time has passed yet for me to find the humor in the situation, if I ever will. It was absolutely necessary, yes, but very personal and humiliating nonetheless." Yeah I was whining a bit - but I didn't attack her in any way - just stuck to how I felt. Wow this "dealing with your feelings" stuff is crap sometimes Thanks for your response and the gut-check! Michelle

Kinda like people who donate money or time or resources and then braodcast it. Maybe it makes her feel good about herself that she helped and she is not humble because she is too excited about it. Maybe it's the first really unselfish thing she has ever done. But it's not being unselfish and giving if one tries to suck more out of it for ones self that what we give. iT'S A MATURITY THING. jUST TELL HER KINDLY, i APPRECIATE YOUR HELP, BUT THIS IS A VERY PRIVATE MATTER. wHENEVER YOU HAVE A PROBLEM, i'LL DEFINITELY KEEP IT JUST BETWEEN US. yOU CAN TRUST ME. Oops, sorry about the caps. Don't know if this will work, but you can try. Having said that, cover your ears, I am so God damned tired of being labeled the drunk when others are drinking and I'm not. My Mom was driving last month and I'm sure she was wasted. But, no, it's me..I am the bad one. Whenever hubby and I have a disagreement, his trump card is, well I had to put up with you all the time you were drunk. I have been totally invalidated as a person. Some people are just like that. Wonder if they realize how much it changes my feelings. I'm not resentful; I just cease to care. Vicki Wow! Where did THAT come from?????

Not much to add but wanted to send ya a big hug. laurie

You are not hypersensitive and you shouldnt feel guilty about being angry. As much as you may owe your dear friend for helping you see the light, she doesnt have to continually rehash things for you. YOU are trying to move on to a better life. (me too) I think your reply to her was appropriate and maybe a little needed. Hugs to you!!