Good for the soul

Today was kind of a "take care of me" day. After the couple fo weeks anxiety, I took it easy. My 11 year old has been kind of sad and freaked out about the situation at home, so this morning, after picking him up from my parents house, I took him to the library, we played in a fountain, went to the dollar store and out to lunch and had a LONG talk about things and how HE feels about them. I think he really needed some momma time. When Kelsey comes back tomorrow I hope to get some one on one time with her too. After lunch, I came home and took the luxury of a LONG nap. I've not slept ****il last night) in weeks it seems, and I really felt that was something I needed. Then I got up and took a long bubble bath and read some in one of my library books. I took Jake (the 11 y/o) to go visit my brother and SIL for the night and then to our first family session at the hospital with Brian (my oldest) The therapy session went very well. I admit I was terrified of how it would go. Surprisingly, my son was REALLY trying to be candid and articulate about feelings, expectations etc. It was a bit gut wrenching in spots - we both shed a few tears, but not necessarily in a bad way. At the end of the session, he hugged the stuffing out of me and gave me an "I love you mom". At this point, his preliminary intake diagnosis is "mood disorder", but he sees the psychiatrist tomorrow, who will fine tune that diagnosis and determine if there is evidence of bipolar, anxiety disorder, ADD, etc. Brian is being such a good sport, although he has a little denial still (his counselor this morning asked why he was there and he said, "cuz my mom thinks i'm crazy and tricked me into coming here"... one thing, he's definitely terrified of being "like his dad" cuz he keeps saying things like, "look out! crazy boy coming thru" or , "what difference does it make - i'm the crazy guy remember?".. thou doth protest too much young padewan (ok, so i mixed shakespeare with george lucas ) He hates the food there so I left him some singles for the vending machines. They will keep him at LEAST 72 hours and no mroe than 7 days... the psych will make that decision sometime tomorrow probably. I'm encouraged and grateful. I know we have a long row to hoe still and lots of followup therapy when he gets out - but I'm VERY proud of him right now, and for the first time believe there is light at the end of the tunnel, even if it's just a penlight right now. I'm off to read some more then bedtime for me - hopefully it will be another restful night. HUGS HUGS HUGS, m

Hi Michelle, I am new here and pre-op. In addition to being in recovery for alcoholism, I am a social worker/therapist part time at a psychiatric hospital with an adolescent unit. The best encouragement I can give you right now is that your son is in a safe place. Hopefully the psychiatrist will make an accurate diagnosis and be able to prescribe appropriate medications to stablize him. It sounds like he has an identity issue with mental illness. This is something he is going to have to work through, and it will probably take a while. My encouragement to you is to focus on yourself for a little while. Take the steps necessary to ensure your physical and emotional sobriety. The healthier you are, the healthier he will become in the future. You are his role model for that. Sorry to babble. I just remember my sons and can attest to the fact that they are now terrific, stable young men. 15 years ago it was a whole different story. Hugs, Trish

Michelle, What a trooper you are! I am so glad you have the insight to not focus on just Brian or your problems but also touch base with the other two kids. At 11 yr old your other son is also a young adolencent and subject to the same fears. I think his verbalizing is not such a bad thing. He is putting his discomfort out there for all to hear. I had my oldest go to counceling a couple of times. At 12 yr and at 20 yr old. He complained I thought he was "crazy" but he went and did well. Hugs, Laurie