Today my thoughts went full circle

Hi all, Today was a busy day. I have been full of nervous energy. That is not good because it makes me uncomfortable and then I feel the need to stop it. My old self would have done some unhealthy things to avoid the discomfort. So I was buzzing around, typing minutes for my NA meeting, working with spread sheets, printing new member sheets.... I hosted the business mtg at my home so I felt I had to serve food and beverage. I was thinking I hate being an addict and I hate all the time I devote to NA. Funny as soon as I had that thought I realized how much I would miss it. I cannot imagine my life without it. Once I decided to join and really do it I took the suggestions and started making coffee, going to business mtgs I soon found myself the group secretary, next the noon mtg needed a chairperson or it would fold. So I do that. I really do enjoy it. It keeps me plugged in. I was reluctant at first and I have days I am not sure I like it in the moment but really I need it. I am preparing a background check sheet now to be able to help bring a meeting to a facility where kids are court ordered to go due to being abused. Many have drug addiction. I work well with teens so I am once again signing up with some hesitation. Do I really want to devote another 2 hours per week???? Yes, I guess I do. I have decided that those who go before me are right. I can only keep this peace of mind if I give it away. Being part of the solution.If I want to save my own ass I have to help someone else save thiers. I do not reflect on these things all that often. I am approaching my 2 yr anniversary so I am getting a bit squirrely. Last year I wanted to quit NA so I would avoid having a celebration and sharing my story with the group. LOL I was really scared. I am not so scared this year but I am alittle apprehensive. It is not easy to address a room full of people all focused on you. Now I do not HAVE to celebrate this way but the sharing is for the newcomer who may hear something that they can relate to and be inspired, or find hope. So I will suck it up and pray I say the right things in the right way. Share from the heart they tell me. Once again I have to trust in the process. Love y'all, Laurie

2 years is a great time to share. Not so new that you're on the pink cloud, not so old that you've become repetitive and sanctimonious. Just right...long enough to have developed some faith, short enough to still feel the sting. You'll do fab, and what a great way to celebrate your birthday! Vicki

Thanks Vicki. I sent you a reply. I did not pay attention to where it went so you either got a private email or it is traveling in cyber space! LOL Laurie

I can relate to a lot that you shared. I have been in AA for 18 years, but only sober this time for 4+ years. I grew weary of going to meetings about 7 years ago and started drinking again. I came back in September 2001. I don't make as many meetings as I should, but I also have done social work internships in rehabs, and now work in a psychiatric hospital part time. Part of me sometimes gets ****y thinking that I am too educated to need to go to meetings, but then I remember that Dr. Bob, one of the founders, had a medical degree and practice and he needed to go to meetings. Humility is not my strong point. What helps me is to keep my focus on today. What am I doing today to stay sober, not overeat, and stay sane as I wait for my surgery date? One day at a time is all I have. It is all any of us have. Hang in there. Hugs, Trish