bah

I've monopolized this board too much. Son went out the window. I called the cops. Cops brougth him back. I've ruined his life. Sigh. We both need extensive therapy. He thinks I should let him "go" I refuse to let him go and give up on him.. love him too much. I may never sleep again. I don't think I've ever wanted to drink so badly in my life. For now I won't. I don't know of a 1 am meeting, and don't trust him here if I did know. Not sure where to turn in the middle of the night when things are like this. Not giving up... (crying my eyes out - I knew the calm "mind like water" would not last - I'm not sure if I can stay the course and keep this up) m

Boy, those kids really know how to push our buttons. It's not surprising that I feel like drinking after a row, too. I need to develop some better parenting skills so I won't get sucked into it so easily. Don't worry about posting a lot. Sometimes when I'm stressed I post all day long...better than going for the bottle. Besides, it keeps the board active. I'd rather be a blabbermouth than a drunk. Hopefully, some day I'll find that moderation I seek, but for now until I find an alternative, which may or may not happen, this board is home. Mi casa es su casa. Vicki

What do you do when every single minute of every day and every interaction is a row? EVERY SINGLE INTERACTION??? I'm the sole provider for this family - I *need* to work but cannot work for having to police the oldest child! My two youngest are getting very upset by it all, and I'm at my wits end. I called insurance this am and got authorization and referral to psych doctors for diagnosis - but what if he refuses to go? Every thing is a fight with him. I'm losing my will to fight - i'm soooooooooooooo tired. First things first - help the boy - then help michelle God help us all. m This is going to be one of those half-minute at a time days.

Sometimes it's just left foot, right foot and the stress seems unbearable. For me, a morning meeting BEFORE I face the kids is essential, and a walk, lazy as I am, really helps relax me and get me out of my head after a few minutes. Books are good, too, if you can find the time. I know there are a few orgs which give free parenting classes, esp as related to teens. The school counselors or PTA have info about them. You might also want to call the AA central office and ask about Alateen. If you can find one at a same facility as a coinsiding AA meeting and can drag him/them, it's a great chill out time. I took my girl starting at 11, boy at 12. They have them during lunch at their school once a week, too. Let me know if you make any discoveries. I'm 48 with 12 and 13 year olds. They're normal, good kids, but I'm not really armed for the teen years. Needless to say, at 350+ pounds, I was not focusing on good behavioral skills! I feel guilty sometimes about how much of this was caused by me. Then again, I can't cry over spilt milk; just do the best I can from here on out and try to set an example. The frustration and rage, which suprises me in its' intensity, is something I have to deal with NOW. The kids are not going to magically learn how to act otherwise, and I desperately want to change this generations long disfunction. Vicki

I'm calling psychiatrists per my insurance's direction to get him diagnosed. So far, I've called 5 and nobody can see him until mid JULY. That simply is not going to work. I'm very grateful he is asleep now, but when he wakes - my life is going to be in chaos again. Thank God my youngest has been at a friend's house during both of his latest episodes. This would absolutely kill her. Thank you for being there. m