BUT I'm still sober

I don't know if I want a medal or a cookie or what. But I'm still sober.... My life is a mess, but I'm still sober.... I'm losing my grip, but I'm still sober... He picked the absolute WORST week to lose his mind.... but I'm still sober... If I keep chanting it, maybe I can keep doing it. I don't think I've *ever* wanted to escape into a bottle of bacardi like I do right now... never ever ever... but I'm still sober! m

OMG I cant beleive your going through this and during this week of all weeks.....its almost like he planned this, he knew you were trying and hes sabatoging you.... my son does that to me and hes only 5!!! Oh baby girl Im praying for you!!!! Im just so proud and envious of your strength to not drink!!! your a strong mama remember that!!!! all my hugs and kisses to you!! ~Bethany

This is a test. It has to be. It's a dream and I'm going to wake up and none of it will have happened. haha I wish. I'm *NOT* going to drink. I'm even resisting the urge to take xanax all day (I took one because that's what the Rx says to do - one in the morning for anxiety - although truth be told, they're low dose and I might take a second before the day is thru). So I'm back to another of those "one hour at a time" days... One minute at a time? Soonest meeting I can find nearby is 7 pm tonight. I want to talk to my daddy about this so bad but he pretty much told me last night that all this happened cuz i'm an awful parent and i'm screwing up the other two kids too. Although he may be right, this is NOT the kind of talk that is going to keep me from drinking. A conversation with him is going to send me straight to the package store (with no hair combed, bra on, shoes or teeth brushed) and it *will* end me up in the funny farm. This week - I've been closer to feeling like I needed hospitalization than I did when I finally divorced my insane husband in 1997. I have too much responsibility now to slip into that "sleep for 20 days and don't leave the house" mode. If *I* don't handle things, then everybody suffers and that is kind of the self fulfilling prophesy that I'm a piece of **** I'm tired. Hugs - I know I sound really mauldlin - but once I open up with my emotion - it's like a gueyser (sp). I bottle. I bottle and bottle and bottle, and now it's all this venom and bile that has to get out or it's going to infect me from teh inside Peeking out the blinds for the men in the white coats ;0 m

Michelle, Both NA and AA have 24 hour numbers. They can put you in contact with someone local who can talk to you. Maybe greet you tonite at a meeting. Google NA or AA in your state you should find a number. Hope you got my email. I hope it helps. Your son is not anymore in control than you are right now plus he is a child and less mature. You have to be the strong one. It is not easy and I feel your fear and pain but you have made a brave and right choice to deal with life on lifes terms. Do not give up 5 minutes before the miracle!!!!! Sound cheesy but it is based in truth. Laurie

M, Just want you to know I am keeping YOU and your family in thoughts and prayers. I too have been on the insane side of the world and take medication to try and stabilize. You can do this and give yourself credit for your successes. Much Love, Linda Sue