Honesty

I have been reading posts, reading my meditations, and just getting a feel for my day. I am a little uncomfortable. I have been up in my head with others here at the house. As if I have the power to control any ones life! LOL I have a hard time with co- dependency. I have made great progress but it is easy to slip. So I am doing the right things and it feels strange and good. The strange part is what gets me. I caught myself shopping to avoid things. OUCH! It is so easy. It feels ****ty. I am acting out. Retail therapy is a slippery slope for this addict. I started this whole addiction process as a child. My mother told me I was the only one who could get my father to stop drinking. She meant no harm to me. But, I believed it and I have never stopped. Today I know I have no control over others. Yet here I sit thinking about it. People in my life are struggling and I want to fix it for them. I am so much better than I used to be but clearly have some work to do. I need to call my sponsor or another addict before I impulse shop. I need to read a meditation or just take a few deep breaths and think it thru until the moment I check my bank balance and feel guilty. it works but yesterday I did not do those things and now I feel bad. I only slept 4 hours. I need a meeting and I need to get honest. Not manipulating loved ones is not good enough. I need to really stop and think in the moment or suffer the consequences. Thanks for listening. I am a work in progress. Not giving up! Laurie

Thankyou for sharing Laurie Lets us know how your day goes..... Im the same way with shopping................Imaddicted to EVERYTHING!!!! except treatingmy self with love and respect xoxoxox Have a good day LAurie xoxox

Yep, shopping gets me everytime. I start out with the things I need and before I know it I have a cart of stuff that just looks good to me! I don't care if it is for me or someone else I am a shopping fool. I make my husband crazy. I feel bad about that because I quit working over a yr ago. Well whats done is done. I am not happy about it. Next time I get the itch I MUST do the right thing and stop and think it thru. laurie