I DID IT!!!!!

I BEAT the addiction totally on my own.... err not really.... with alot of divine intervention that is. Prior and since my GB (2.5 years ago), my choice of poison and addiction has been wine. Merlots and Cabernets to be exact. I consumed alot of wine daily(3 to 4 boxes of Franzia a week), to the point I'd get so shaky that I couldn't even write. The only way to ease the shakes was to drink more wine (vicious circle). This has gone on for more years than I care to admit. Well, Friday night (May 26th), I laid in bed totally drunk, but I began to pray. Now I'm an internally spiritual person, but I do not talk religion with people (I hold that very personal and private). I asked the Lord for his help and to take the taste of wine from my mouth. I woke up on Saturday, and spent the day going through the shakes. I had promised to take my teenage daughter and her friend shopping, but could not do it. Although I had to tolerate the shakes that day, I had absolutely no craving for wine that day or since. By Saturday evening the shakes subsided and I've been clear and sober (first time in years) since. I had quit smoking 18 years ago, never had a desire to try drugs or drink liquor, just dark wine. It's been 10 days now, and I have not had any withdrawl or anything, I don't get it. How can you have an addiction and not experience withdrawl when quitting. You know, I always told my husband that I didn't have a drinking problem... I had a stopping problem... I didn't stop until the box was empty. I'd given up on myself a long time ago, just glad that the Lord didn't give up on me. This is my story, hope it helps somebody out there in a similar situation. Good luck, and email me if you need to talk. Hugs, Marina

Marina, I am so happy for you that you are feeling so much better. I believe in a Higher Power. I practice that in my life. My experience is that it works alone for awhile. I could not keep from returning to my old destructive ways without support. Thats me. If you can do it well my sincere congratulations. I just want you to keep an open mind and remember that there are people just like you that understand and will give you support if you need it. This board is one example. Keep posting. And I truelly am very happy for you that you have been able to string so many days of sobriety together!!!! Hugs, Laurie

Thanks Laurie so much for your words of wisdom and encouragement. I refuse to fail myself. I had always promised myself that if I was still smoking 10 years after I started, I would quit... well it was 11 years (18 years ago), and I refused to ever pick up another one and haven't (mom, sister and husband smoke so I am exposed). The same inner strenght is surfacing once again and I feel like I've got it under control now. I just don't understand how I didn't go through withdrawl after smoking 11 years, and I haven't experienced withdrawl from heavy wine comsumption. Could it be that it was a habit and not an addiction? I just don't get it. I would get up in the morning shaking, and have a glass or two of wine before work to ease the shakes. That kept the shakes at bay until late afternoon. From all that to absolutely nothing now is just plain wierd. Dunno how to explain it? Thanks again for yours and everybody elses support! Huggies Galore, Marina

Congratulations Marina! That's a great start. The shakes do constitute withdrawal and maybe that one day was all you experienced. I had a similar experience when I got sober - I had been drinking at least 1L of vodka every night (more on weekends) for many years - I would sometimes have shakes but not that often and when I stopped I didn't have any significant withdrawal symptoms. I think it varies from individual to individual. I used a lot of different support systems early on from 12-step, to reading books, to therapy. A book that I really loved was called: First Year Sobriety: When All that Changes is Everything. Must have read it 4-5 times during my first year. Feel free to contact me if you wish or feel the need for some additinoal support. And good luck staying the course. Steve