pick yourself up, dust yourself off..

And today is a new day. I made amends last night. Zoe hugged me, Gordo brought me a crystal lite (!), I apologized to the relatives for being insane, and then we all played poker until 1am and had a blast. The hardest one to make amends to is myself. I ate, not like I was drinking, but out of stress and was miserably uncomfortable. I very rarely ever do that anymore. Maybe this is the third time in over 5 years. But I stressed, got angry, and abused myself with food as badly as I abused the kids with screaming at them. That's a big one I learned. You know how we Mom's tend to give the best to everyone else and forget ourselves? How many times did I get up at 5:30 to make breakfasts, pack luncjes and take the kids to school without feeding myself? Well, no more. If I put my sobriety first, I have to act with self-respect and that means treating myself as I would others and forgiving myself as I would others. That used to sound selfish to me. But it's just the opposite actually. So on we go. Another day of sightseeing and I hope living amends. THANK GOD I didn't drink over this! I can't even bear to imagine the damage I would have done to myself and everyone around me. Vicki

Hi Vicki, You made me think. I get tempted occassionally when in a social situation to drink. I can work thru it but the times I am at greatest risk is when I am upset. Wanting to numb the emotional pain. That is when it really gets risky and I have to use all my tools to stay clean. i hope you have a great day. Laur