So glad I found this board~

Hi everyone, I have been reading lots of your posts and am just so thrilled that OH has this forum. I have been GOGGLING WLS and alcoholism and cant find anything, so this is great. I have been drinking since I was 14 years old.......like 1/2 a beer at highschool parties etc....then college came and I could handle rum and cokes etc etc Then after college I really started to get into the wine, 1/2 a bottle and now its up to 3 or more bottles. Before WLS if I was feeling depressed I would EAT and feel better after (then guilty) but now food doesnt comfort me anymore....wine does I feel like I am rambling here and cant get all my gazillion thoughts out......(my mind races all the time) I am not ready to go to AA, Im just going to put that out there...................I am ready to go see a therapist but I feel that if I am honest about my drinking then shes going to send me somewhere....................I have 2 young children and my husband works 2 jobs and we cant afford for me to go anywhere I feel like erasing this post because I know what the answer is.................go get help.............but I really just want to hear about how others are coping or if they are going through this same thing................Does this make sense? Its so hard for me to talk about this Every morning I say today is going to be a sober day but then 4 pm rolls around and the "itch" starts and I pour my first glass and listen to some music and all is good, but then after the 5th glass I get annoyed and bored and angry etc etc and its not fun~ right now its 9am and i just poured out the left over wine that got left out onthe counter last night, but now I see the fresh bottle in the fridge and Im like well I cant waste it, we will see what happens come around 4pm................the "itching hour" Ok thanks for letting me ramble................ oh ya, I read in PEOPLE magazine that CARNIE WILSON suffered from the same problem, I wish she would open up about that some more............... ~Bethany -97lbs

Bethany, Only you can decide when enough is enough unless of coarse your life becomes so unmanagable that the family, or authorities step in or your health deteriorates. Any and all of these are real possibilities. I personally have never regretted a single day since I joined a 12 step group. At first I just listened. I found a lot of peace in hearing the similarities. Eventually I decided I felt too good about life with a support system to give it up and I actively participated in the program. My experience with AA is limited but I have many friends who are comfortable there. I joined narcotics anonymous because I believe my disease is all inclusive. My addiction is not limited to alcohol. Pain meds are my drug of choice but I can use alcohol, food, shopping, almost anything including relationships to feed my addiction.'Getting clean/sober is harder for me than staying that way. With the support of my NA friends, sponsor and meetings I have a beautiful life. When the urge to use which is usually alcohol since it is so available happens I can think it thru to the outcome and have plenty of others who understand to vent with before I pick up. You have made a huge step coming here and reaching out. It is the beginning. Don't give up or give in because there is an alternative to the slow suicide ( well, maybe slow) of addiction. Please feel free to post or email anytime. There are some really good people here and out in the world who want to help. Laurie

Thankyou Laurie for your wonderful and supportive words. Im so glad I found you and the others on this board. Did your husband use at all? Does he drink? How do you handle being around people drinking?

Hello Bethany, my name is Diana and I have been checking out this forum off and on for a few months now. I am feeling comfortable now to post and share with other members of this forum. I am two yrs Post Op and an alcoholic. I love beer. the taste, the smell (I live in N. Colorado and there is a brewery practically on every end of town). Beer is all i drink. I drank alot on weekends before my surgery and continued after about 10 months out. I was very well educated about the surgery and i knew what to expect and the consequences if I continue with my lifestyle. Thank God i have not had any concerns or troubles yet other than having to mentally recooperate from acting a fool the night before or stubbling all over the place and finding bruises the next day. I can go on but the point here is that i'm feeling ya. I know, if anyone does how it is to get into the routine, grab a beer and before you know it, i can't stop drinking. I prayed on Sunday and told God to intervene with my lifesyle and save me. Since Sunday I haven't had a beer or a cigarette. It's something to toot my own horn about considering i have an alcoholic husband and there is beer in my house everyday. It's a temptation every day and it's hard but I am focusing on my kids and my health and realizing I have wasted alot of my life drinking instead of grabbing opportunity. Take Care. I will pray for you.

Diana, I encourage you to seek a support group. AA is well known and they have Alanon for family members of alcoholics. Just a thought. I could not do this alone. I have tried and no matter how well I did my addiction crept back into my life. You are very smart to recognize this problem and acknowledging it is the first step to a better life. laurie

My husband is not an addict. He is so NOT an addict. He accepts me but really does not understand. He respects me and is supportive. My husband does drink but not excessively. It rarely bothers me to be around others drinking. For the most part people who know I do not are very considerate. I will be around it and have it in my home. Not everyone can do this. I cannot go to parties and bars on a regular basis or it starts to bother me. When the urge hits I talk about it and it seems to take the urgency away. I do not avoid people who drink but I do limit my exposure. Laurie

I thought there was no way I could stop drinking beer. I drank almost everyday for the past 20 years. After surgery I had to make a choice between alcohal or losing wieght and I am so sick of being overwieght I havent had a craving for beer yet. I know that 4 oclock feeling I had it everyday before rny and now I dont. I pray it does not return. good luck with your fight

Matt, Thank goodness you are doing so well. The wonderful thing is that you have awareness. Congrats! Laurie

OMG Bethany - I know this is an old post but you are **ME** The mind racing - the 4 pm "itching"... the non interested in AA.... the saying you'll do better tomorrow. I literally took a 12 pack of beer over to a friend's house yesterday because I told him it was "talking to me" and trying to make me weak. I feel like I've lost my mind, my footing and my way. THANK YOU FOR POSTING THIS God, thank you for posting this! hugs, m