Skin surgery
Today I went for loose skin surgery. The doc referred to it as an inverted T. Some people call it a fleur de lis. If he cut on every line he drew this morning, I must have ten feet of sutures right about now.
Here's a picture from the prep room. As my life often goes, after stripping me down to my birthday suit and giving me a flimsy gown, they put me in a room at the end of the hall that contains the coffee machine, vending machine, and microwave. It is where EVERYONE in the department hangs out or walks through. Hook me up to tubes and wires so I?m stuck in bed, and all of a sudden I have to worry about wardrobe malfunctions.
It?s been an adventure. I arrived at 0445 for my 0500 appointment. Surgery was scheduled for 0730. At the last minute they realized they had to shave me. Most of the ladies wouldn?t have this problem I?ll bet. I don?t know about the other men here, but I look like Magilla Gorilla under my T shirts. I lost a big patch of fur forever today, and at the very least, I?ll never have to pick lint out of my belly button again. ???
They had me in the pediatric section of the prep area. I guess someone informed them about my humor. While I was there someone brought in a special needs teenage boy. I felt awful for him. He started hollering when they tried to change his socks. Getting an IV in him was almost impossible. I hope things went better for him after they got him prepped. This stuff is bad enough when you understand what they?re doing and why.
Surgery itself was easy. I wasn?t there. Then it was on to recovery. They squirted liquid fentanyl into my IV on a regular basis so that was good. I eventually convinced them to give me some ice, and not too long after that, they gave me COFFEE!! I must have pounded down a quart of coffee.
Part of all the coffee was my lengthy sojourn in the recovery room. At first I was waiting for a room to open up. Then they told me they were giving the room a UV treatment. I said to take all the time they needed to kill every single germ in there. No infection for me! ???
While I was fairly comfortable, the recovery room was not without trials. They moved a woman in on the other side of my curtain who did NOT follow instructions, and proceeded to barf up her breakfast shortly after arriving. She did so in a very noisy fashion. Then she needed to drop a deuce in her bedpan. Since she was hard of hearing, I was treated to the whole discussion concerning the mechanics. The good news is, no odors wafted across the barrier from either event.
I am doped up on morphine right now. It is still a bit painful. I hope that part improves quickly. According to the nurses, I was making awful jokes as they wheeled me out of the OR. Again. I made bad jokes coming out of my bariatric surgery. In today?s episode, one of the nurses even sent another nurse from a different section over to me for the purpose of repeating a couple of them. I heard them afterwards pronouncing them as keepers.
My wife stayed as close as she could for the ordeal, and just now departed after leaving me some protein bars. The kitchen is NOT fast. I literally spent 10 minutes on hold at 3PM just to order an omelette. It took 50 minutes to arrive, but they warned me of that, and it was hot. Not only that, they were very generous with the bacon. At least they have breakfast. Dinner is either pizza or noodles. The nurses have been great, and have been congregating for stories.
Update since I finished writing the above. I switched over from morphine to Percocet. It?s been a little over an hour and so far so good, at least for daytime. Imma going for the morphine to get some sleep tonight.
Thank you! He pulled things tight, lemme tell you. I'm not sure I can close my eyes when I stand up. My skin's so tight my lower lids won't go up. 
We had a few "issues" overnight, the worst of which was them not getting me my pain pills until 1:15 AFTER they were scheduled. I had a heartfelt conversation with the young lady and we are all good. It sent my pain level up to 9 or thereabouts, but once we got caught up it was down to 3 for the rest of the night.
They are going to cut me loose today, but paperwork will delay that until early afternoon. I am waiting on more bacon and eggs. And coffee. Lots of coffee first, and then bacon and eggs. Pictures will come once I get some taken.
I am one week out from surgery. Recovery is going well. In fact, it is excellent. I am pretty much completely off pain killers, taking half doses on occasion for twinges more so than anything ongoing. I was up and about and cooking dinner last night (chicken Parmesan without noodles), and am getting impatient to get my stitches and staples out. I am still sporting the three drains the doc installed the day of surgery like some sort of beginner Borg kit, and will continue to do so until their output drops to the specified level.
I had a HUGE NSV today. Before I started losing weight, I wore a size 58 or 60 waist depending on the cut. With my weight loss up to last week, I was down to a 42 and they were getting baggy. Today my wife brought home a bag of clothes that a friend of ours from church gave her. They came from her sone who no longer wears them.
I SLID RIGHT INTO A PAIR OF 36 JEANS!!!
They didn't just fit. They fit WELL! I had room everywhere we need room and even with tubes coming out of my belly, stitches, staples, and swelling, they buttoned right up. I knew I was going to drop a few sizes, but I didn't expect this. I haven't worn a size 36 since I was in high school in the early 70s. Now I'm really impatient to get this healing up behind me.
