Tired of Failure

Hey everyone!

I thought I would start back on the road to recover this week.  I had RNY in 2005.  At that time I was at 468 lbs, I lost down to 305 lbs but my spouse started having a few issues with the physical and mental changes that come along with successful weigh loss and rather than cause any martial issues I pretty much stopped the process of dieting and exercise.  At first I held my own pretty well but in 2008 I had a gall bladder attack that also spiked my blood pressure and almost popped my aorta.   My heart dr. put me on beta blockers and the weight started pouring back on.  I started doing all the no no's also  Drinking diet cokes, drinking with meals, hammering starches and sugar, all the things that are opposite of success.  This morning I stepped on the scales at 440 lbs.  So at 48 years old I am within 28 lbs of where I was at when I originally had the surgery 11 years ago. 

I am tired of toting this monkey around on my back.  One question I have: Will my pouch shrink if I go through a detox stage of fasting and restricting myself to the diet I had to do for the first 3 weeks following my surgery?  I know that I need to quit the fizzy drinks and not to drink with my meals, no breads, potatoes, and sugars.

I have my DDP Yoga videos ready to deploy and am ready for lift off, anything you guys might suggest to help keep my mind focused for the task at hand?

You can't shrink your stomach. But odds are, you didn't stretch it either. The fact is, there are certain things we can eat all day long, and still want more.

If you want to get back on track, eat dense protein only. Eat nothing but chicken or steak for a week. That will show you how big your stomach is. Then weigh, log, track everything you eat. As you said, stop drinking with meals. No white carbs.

You can do this, but it won't be easy. I can gain really quick if I start eating the wrong things. Keeping a log keeps me from eating them.

Thanks, the keeping a log is a great recommendation.   Not drinking with a meal bit is going to be my biggest barrier.  Your brain will tell you to drink water because you are starting to experience the sensation that the pouch is designed to do give you discomfort to let you know you have hit capacity and to stop.  Drinking water with your meal pushes food on through the pouch easing the discomfort and creating space for the next bite.   I am trying to keep thinking on the eating process to keep me from subconsciously hurting my efforts.  

I'm pretty sure you know what you need to do. At the very least you should have all the instructions you got when you originally had surgery. When I was in High School, I had a math teacher who used to roam the classroom during a test. If he saw someone struggling, he would whisper G.B.T.T.D (Go Back To The Definition). You got this. It wont be easy. Keep checking in with your progress. A little accountability never hurt either. 

That's why I am back in the forums after almost 9 years of hiding out.  Thanks guys for the advice.  

Good luck.  Im sure you can get back on track.  Start now and win one day.

Just one day and one meal at a time. You got this!

Thank you for your honesty!!  We hear so much about success...But don't talk much about the regain for many of us.  I don't like to post on the Weekly Weightloss Forum because I'm about 220...Ideally I should be about 195...But better than 300#.  My wife had to deal with my sudden weigh loss and it was driving her nuts!!  It came to a head when we were at the drier and I asked her "are those your pants or mine"...I got down to a 36 inch waist...Now I'm a 40-42 inch.  But my wife hit the ceiling...I was losing while she stayed the same.  There is that insecurity concerning the weight loss from the mate...You have to work it through...But still remain healthy. Supporting her and letting her know you're not going to leave her.  She was there when you were heavy and she'll be there no matter the weight...Same with you being there.

Onward to health and weight loss.  You may want to look into the duodenal switch (DS).  It is for men and women who are not successful with the RNY.  It is a more radical surgery...Very few doctors do the procedure.  But because of your weight (the stress you are putting on your heart and kidneys) you might want to look into this procedure.  You can go to the DS Forum and ask questions.  There are many people who had RNY and switched over to the DS.  There is more malabsorption and many people "poop like a goose" but it has helped many people who have not been successful with RNY. 

Concerning losing the weight again...One question...Do you feel hunger?  Or is it just that not full feeling??  I don't feel hunger, but I can tell when my blood sugar level is low and my pouch is empty.  I try to remain very active...I have retired.  So now I mow many lawns (by hand)...house, farm, daughter's house.  I also ride my bicycle for errands.  I will pay my bills by riding my bike (gas, water, doctors)...Saving the stamp.  It's not the stamp, it's the getting out to stay away from the food.  The other thing I do is try and stuff myself with raw vegetables.  Just so the pouch feels full...Almost like what we did during our pre op diets.  I cheat so much with my food, but I keep active so it makes up for my bad eating habits.  Remember to sip sip sip the water.  Find an exercise program that works for you.  Mine is not yours...Yours is not mine.  We had a long haul trucker on this site years ago (hopefully it wasn't you).  He put a rack on the side of his cab.  He placed a bicycle there....Rode for awhile around the truck stops or found nice riding spots.  "Diet and exercise" works pre RNY and post RNY...It never changes.  Good luck on your journey.  Brian

Thanks for the replies, I will not go back through another surgery I need to work hard and change my brain.  Dietary change and exercise must be my main tools now.  The surgery didn't fail, I did by giving up and giving in.