Who did you tell about your surgery?
There was an interesting discussion on the RNY forum about telling people about their surgery. I am curious if people here were more or less likely to tell people. I told lots of people both before and after (granted I am only 13 days post op).
I have been very open with people about my surgery. I keep kosher, and I always felt like if I didn't tell people then I should have no expectation that they would understand what that meant or why I may or may not eat something. The same think is true with RNY in my mind. I have been telling people because I don't want them to be offended when I don't try their amazing looking cheesecake or other dessert. I have found that everyone has been really supportive- most ask what they can have for me to eat or drink at a party. At work, people are not shocked when I choose not to join them for lunch out, or when I have needed help moving boxes or doing other things.
I am sure that some people might not respond well. We have all heard people assume RNY is the "easy way out" or "cheating". These people are not only wrong but they are in the minority. My friends and coworkers have been universally great and very supportive. Most reply with "oh my (relative/friend) had that and they lost so much weight!".
What has been everyone else's experiences?
Hi Brian,
Initially only my wife and sister in law knew because I was reluctant to tell anyone my business... After the surgery I told only my closest friends because I am pretty private and thought it nobodies business... these days I speak about if freely, many people thought I had cancer. This surgery is such a life saver that anyone who asks about it I am an open book.
Brian
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I was always very open, but I know others in our support group that kept it pretty close and in a few situations there parents still don't know. (Very negative personality parents)
I have never had any negative comments to my face, I am sure they exist but I have been able to share the journey with lots of folks that are considering it themselves or a family member is, etc.
I told...No big deal. It will usually get out any ways. The surgery is so common now that it's not shocking. It's like getting your gallbladder out or going into the cath lab to check your heart. Men loose the weight faster than women...We have a larger muscle structure. The pounds will fly off you. You buy new pants and they are loose within a couple of weeks (buy clothes used or ask friends for clothes in transition). It is not the easy way out. You have been blessed with a gift (tool)...Use it, follow doctor's orders and you will have the last laugh. One thing I will say is that the mental side of WLS is harder than the physical side. Society will treat you different. You'll get treated better in business situations. Women will make eye contact. Be ready for that side of the surgery. Also as a new post op man, you need to be aware of the emotions that will be coming your way. Stored in your fat cells is estrogen!! Yes, estrogen. As you loose the weight the estrogen will get released. Men who are solid and never emotional in their lives all of a sudden are falling apart. Just be aware that it will probably happen. After a few months it settles down. Good luck on your journey...Brian
I told...No big deal. It will usually get out any ways. The surgery is so common now that it's not shocking. It's like getting your gallbladder out or going into the cath lab to check your heart. Men loose the weight faster than women...We have a larger muscle structure. The pounds will fly off you. You buy new pants and they are loose within a couple of weeks (buy clothes used or ask friends for clothes in transition). It is not the easy way out. You have been blessed with a gift (tool)...Use it, follow doctor's orders and you will have the last laugh. One thing I will say is that the mental side of WLS is harder than the physical side. Society will treat you different. You'll get treated better in business situations. Women will make eye contact. Be ready for that side of the surgery. Also as a new post op man, you need to be aware of the emotions that will be coming your way. Stored in your fat cells is estrogen!! Yes, estrogen. As you loose the weight the estrogen will get released. Men who are solid and never emotional in their lives all of a sudden are falling apart. Just be aware that it will probably happen. After a few months it settles down. Good luck on your journey...Brian
Solid post Bri, we can always count on you!
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Hug your kids every day, let them know they are loved, keep them safe the best you can.
Men's Forum FAQ here: docs.google.com/folder/d/0B5YeHu9A2ZfYcVJhUlVHeVVFWE0/edit