Just the way I see it
I am almost 6 years post op.
For a time in my life I figured out shortcuts and what I could get away with. Reading back over my profile and forum posts from years ago I had a whole lot of people reaching out and praying for me, and encouraging me to keep fighting, to keep living. For a long time I almost felt I was turning my back on the very people who prayed for me and stood by me. I was dealing with inner DEMONS that I myself had created. I was a strong motivator some called a role model to follow and I betrayed those eating things I knew I had no business doing like drinking soda as if it were water. Telling them all along this is how you’re supposed to do things and to shun the things I in secret were doing. Life, karma or whatever you want to call it has a weird way of bring you back full circle back to a start a new start. I look around and see the ones who supported me going on with their lives to greater things and here I am. I recently seen pictures of a friend of mine who had also abused their tool and boom had gained 75 lbs back. I do not want to be that person. Chapters in my life have been closed and I cannot open them again some I live with every day wishing I could relive them and do them over again stopping my mistake before I made it. Others I am glad they are over and sealed never to be opened again. God has a weird way of giving second chances bringing new people into your life to influence you and you them. Giving you a second chance and sometimes a third or fourth. I recently read a post about living on borrowed time when I reference it back over posts I have made and ones that were made about me I see now I am infact living on borrowed time. I was able to close some negative chapters in my life a few years ago and while they were painful and some joyful they have molded me and influenced me into who I am today. I have a solid base of support that I never knew could be possible. I see temptation and am doing what is in my power to resist it. I encourage you to reach out to your peers and to reach deep down inside yourself to find the strength to keep going to never stop fighting for your life because ultimately that is what this is about your life. Seek out friends and mentors ones you can call on to see you through. Attend support groups when possible or if you can’t use the internet to seek out ones who will be your support chain. I have asked some people here to be friends and when I get to know you I will share with you where I came from and where I have been. The surgery is only a tool the rest is what we live and make it. No one can fight for you that part is all up to you. If any of the words I have typed inspire you or anger you reach out and contact me. I may not the best mentor but with everything in me I swear I will be there for you some way or the other.
Randy Stonehill -Keep Me Running - Welcome To Paradise.wmv ...
