Where Is Everyone

 I had just finished my last class and my last report which happened to be on pernicious anemia, which led me to wondering about another issue.  In my research I found that back in the 80's there were thousands of WLS performed but fast forward to today there are 200,000+ performed annually.  Statistically 70% are women so that still leaves 60,000 men each year.  We have 10-20 active members on the mens forum so where are the other 59,980 annually hanging out and getting info?  I realize some come and go givin the new status of their surgery but at 60,000 new male surgeries a year there still are quite a few guys that are not here. Perhaps I have too much time on my hands now that school is over for the summer.

Hopefully they have found a support group, either real or electronic, with at least another dude or two that they can commiserate together.

exactly


A lot of men are "Lone Wolf" kind of guys, and they add a lot to the failure rate of the WLS world.

Guys just kinda' gotta' suck it up, bag the pride, and admit that there is an issue to deal with.

Many won't.

It' unfortunate..............many fail after serious surgery

A lot of the guys hang out when the surgery is new...Questions.  As they progress there is the attitude of "I've got this down..." and then move on.  It's fine.   Hopefully they have found support somewhere...Friends who have had it, family members, coworkers.  Even with this forum, over the years I will make it to about 1/2 to 1/3 of the local monthly support meetings.  The local support group meetings get old after awhile...Same people with the same issues.  I try to go for the new people there...Get there early and try to sit by a heavy guy and start up a conversation.  Half the guest speakers are a waste of time at the meetings (the same psychologist, plastic surgeon, personal trainer...selling their wares)...I'll leave early when they speak.  I say get your support somewhere.  Every support group is a cross section of society...I'm sure there is someone even on this forum that drives you nuts...You just move on and gather what you can...Take the good with the bad.  As you get into maintain mode there is not much more to hear...Less hand holding and you need to follow the rules or start your regain (for most people).  Hopefully during the rapid weightloss you have put into place the things necessary for a future success.  No matter how much buttt kicking or hand holding (aha, you poor baby) at some point you have to have made the lifestyle changes necessary for success.  Brian

Bye the way, here is another online forum...Haven't used it much, but it's there.

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 I just have a habit of mentally looking at someone and thinking if they have ever been fat, had surgery, what they eat, how they stay thin or how they feel about being fat.  I find it interesting the roads that led us where we are and the paths that take us elsewhere.  How the end result was and what measure of success did you have.

Hi Guys,

Good thread...Like many have stated, some guys utilize support at first, then feel like they got this. Myself personally, the longer out I am from surgery, the more I realize how important this forum is. It provides me with guidance, support, and the occasional kick in the ass!!

Still, I agree that it seems strange not more people post here. In any event, it is what it is! Me, I plan on hanging here for the foreseeable future to ensure I have a FUTURE!!


Yours in WLS,
Bill

Well, I'm one of the 59,980 and a newbie to this forum.  Been on OH for a couple of years but didn't find this forum until recently.  I lead one local support group and attend a second one each month.  I agree with the comments on this thread.  Most men that do show up for support get their questions answered and move on.  Hopefully, they get what they need to stay successful as a WLS post-op.  I wonder though...

A work acquantance of mine got the Lap-Band a little over a year ago.  He approached me about WLS and asked my opinion about whether to get Lap-Band or RNY since he knew that I had RNY done.  I directed him to the info resources that I knew about - ASMBS, OH, support group, etc.  He chose Lap-Band though he had over 200 lbs excess weight, diabetes, high BP, and apnea.  He showed for the the 3 mandatory support group meetings that his insurance required pre-op.  He hasn't showed up since, hasn't been to any of his followups for band adjustment, and has lost only 30 lbs.  He still has all of his co-morbidities and over 170 lbs excess weight.  I encrouage him when I can.  I just don't think he was psychologically ready to have WLS.  I wonder how many of the 200,000+ men and women fall into this category?

You can lead a mule to water, but can't make him drink.