Obesity and Social Observations

 Hey Tim,  Just noticed your new Avatar.  Looking Sharp!!

 Fantastic post Tim. I am happy to say that I feel exactly the same as you and "the gang" here. I deliberately will not share with anyone what I am going through now or my upcoming WLS because I couldn't care less what thier opinion is. I am already getting backlash from my wife and daughter, both of whom are overweight, but I stay the course because I know if I don't I will die many years sooner than if I can get to a healthier state. Imagine the crap to come from others considering that my own family questions what I am doing? This is why I keep it to myself. Example: I rarely make it into the office where I work... Yesterday I went in to pick up some material needed at my jobsite and the owner (who is the sweetest, most generous soul you ever met) did a double-take and asked me how much weight I had lost, I told him that I might be down a pound or two and blamed it on a Tapeworm...  He of course laughed and dropped the subject which relieved me, I just do not want anyone focusing on it.  I simply don't know what I will do after I've lost 100 more pounds... F them, it is nobody's business but my own...

I haven't had a problem telling anyone how I lost the weight- I actually volunteer the information. But I can see the difference in the attitudes that people have and it's pretty wild... Physically fit people will smile and say Hi and converse more easily - even people I have just met-- people who were in my prevoius weight class seem to feel intimidated and threatened by my success. Get ready for viewing some jaw dropping when you get close to your goal weight because it will be a daily occurance- -and don't be afraid to tell them exactly how you got there, it's nothing to be ashamed of.  Just sayin' ...

Tim T.

 Thanks Tim, I appreciate the support. I guess I resent the attention because my entire life I stood out as the fat ******* who was made fun of and put up with many types of discrimination and even physical attacks... If people could not see I was a person then, why be hypocritical and pay attention to me now?

You'll surely know who your real friends are when the time comes, eh?

 Yes, and sorry I was not my typical self last night... I usually look forward, not back.

 I find a common theme on all forums here when this subject comes up.  Too often i fear many seem to internalize their success not wanting to deal with the drama or how they may handle a negative response.  I have thought this over as well.  On one hand I wonder are, as a group, we not denyiing ourselves transparency and national acceptance by not "coming out of the closet" so to speak.  Obesity is harshly judged and it is heavily predicated on appearance so when an individual notices someone has dropped a 100 pounds human nature would tend to lead them to an invasive inquiry.  I see often on OH that some are so keyed up about who might say what and how they should respond in kind that nervous tension builds.  The whole point of this is to rejoin society yes?  Maybe embracing that is the answer.  We see countless walks for cancer, MS, aids you name it,  and people jump for joy screaming Hey I"m a Survivor! It is a shame that there are those that feel ostracised into minimalizing their success, there sacrifice, the pain and the risk because we are board, tired, fed up or unable to deal with nosy people.  You ever notice people are nosey, perhaps not.  as an obese person that carried around that extra burden of obesity there was perhaps a hint of withdrawal from the limelight thereby avoiding to much scrutiny due to our size.  People in general can be very defensive and when engaged by a lesser person (the troublesome fat guy in the room) they will lash out and judge based on the most convient and obvious weakness, appeareance and not on quality of character.  This spills over into all areas of life, such as I dont want the fat kid on my team,  I hope I dont have to sit next to a fat guy on the plane, this fat guy came in looking for a shirt who's he kidding.  The minializing goes on and on.  I can hardily embrace the mind set of not dwelling on the lack of acceptance of others about wls however I wonder if the approach of hiding our success only worsens the cause.  Somewhere in here there is a cause I just know it.  I hope I summon the courage to be in the face of those who accept or denounce wls surgery so that the next guy or gal is a bit more accepted.  Maybe I'll become the annoying skinny guy in the room but those guys always seem to get a free pass.  In reality I don't really want to annoy anyone but I also dont want to hide my surgery or at least ever feel that I have to. 

 You bring up some interesting points Davo. I hope that I will be able to be open about my trip as well. I realized after reading your post that my need for privacy does not extend beyond my WLS story... I am quiet generally and don't talk about myself but find it easy to discuss my trials with mental illness with others and even strangers. I was diagnosed with depression as a young man and have grown to recognise the symptoms, I am quick to let people know I have been in their shoes if they seem to need some assistance or someone to care. Mental illness carries with it a huge stigma and I have always fought to break it down... I guess time will tell if I am able to do the same after my WLS.

 Its all good my brother it is in the thought process that we grow. I just had some thoughts floating around in my head thought I would throw them out there.

Hi: Tim
           My condolences to you and your family. Why is it every time someone slims down people think that they are sick. This has happened to me many times, are you sick ? cancer maybe what's going on with you. Answer I'm OK, just dropped a few pounds, feeling fine. If you're fat it bad. if you're thin it bad, what is a person to do ? Easy answer, mind you own business and leave me alone.
That's the main reason I have not told anyone about my surgery. Let them see the results, then they can ask what I did. I remember the day a neighbor called me a FAT Jake over a parking spot, let's see if she calls me a skinny ******* after WLS, too funny.
At the end of the day it does not matter what people say, it's you life, they can all go blow wind.
This is the first time I have ever joined a men's forum, tell you what, I'm having a great time reading all the post.
As men we are going to March forward, never looking back, but looking to the future with God's helps.
Taking names and kicking butt, Hoo-ah.
Spring is coming, I feel it in my soul.
Guy's have a safe and fruitful week.
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