Emotional Meltdowns

 Curious if any of men on this forum have faced emotional meltdowns after surgery.  I do the usual cruise through the main forum and there are frequent emotional rollercoaster disciussions and the posts are predominantly from women.  I am wondering if mentally you approach it differently, or do the men here not confess going through a box of kleenex because they can't eat the fridge anymore.  Im not trying to poke fun at anyones expense I just am fascinated by the two worlds that exist on the main forum and the mens forum.  Have any of you had significant emotional highs and lows and if so what allowed you to still succeed.  Did you use food as a coping tool or did you just allow poor eating habits to take over.  

Dude,

The hormones dumping into your system can make you bonkers!  I'm talking snapping over the dog farting type out burst.  Yes, guys can have food issues too.  When on your journey if you think you need PROFESSIONAL HELP do not hesitate to get your ass into the chair or on the couch!

 Interesting thoughts Don thanks.  I am mainly referring to the level of outreach on the main forum vs the mens.  The mens forum has no where near the level of emotional distress expressed compared to the main board where stress, failure, and at times a complete break down are often disclosed.  I am curious if men have experienced the same amount of frequency and what have they done to cope.  This has been a topic of discussion in a few of my psych courses regarding dependency and cumpolsory and addictive behaviors. Some research reveals 70% of wls patients are women. Which is in itself indicative of the frequency and method that women seek health vs men.  There are apparently many obese men that do not seek help, why?  Research indicates the percentage of obese men to women is withing 3-5%.  Its is often discussed that the rapid rise in obesity is directly related to younger generation being less active over the last 20 plus years but 45-65 year old obesity levels have risen at similar rates.  Just professionally curious.

 Hi Davo,

I think men internalize their mental struggles much more than women, it is less acceptable in many peoples minds for a man to show weakness. Society also puts much more pressure on women appearance wise than men... I think these two thoughts may explain why WLS is more predominant in women and why they talk much more openly about the struggle. IMO, some women seek WLS out of a desire to look better and men seek it when it impacts their health or ability to function "normally".

Myself personally, I am lazy and tended to eat what was easy and close at hand. I also gave little thought to what the food I ate did to my health. I am shocked that in my pre-surgery diet I have not had a major slip but if I had I don't think I would get emotional about it... I would move on and try not to repeat it, no need for tears.

I have a family member who is female, has "an eating disorder", and is out of control emotionally when it comes to food and her eating habits. I can't explain why, I see food as a cut and dried issue, I hope my new weight loss and eventual surgery does not worsen her condition.

We haven't mentioned this in awhile, but stored in your fat cells are different hormones.  Including in these hormones is estrogen...Yes estrogen.  During rapid weightloss it gets released.  Men who have never been really emotional before all of a sudden become unhinged...actual PMS.  We are not use to this...We have no idea why our emotions are flying all over the place..."The world is falling apart!!"  After a while it becomes easier, but that may very well be the problem.  Exercise for me is a real stress reliever...Get those endorphins working for you.

I will throw out another theory about the difference between men and women with coping...

It is my belief/experience that men tend to have a more "realistic" (if not pessimistic) view of things than women.  I think that this is due, for the most part, to the fact that men are groomed at an early age to take care of problems and "get your hands dirty".  Whereas, with women, there is more of an emphasis put on grooming such.  GOSH, that sounds really sexist.  Wasn't meant that way.  

Another difference, in my case, is that I did A LOT of research and knew what I was in for.  I think alot of people don't.  That is men and women.  

Along with that, alot of men tend to internalize concerns and such.  Women are more likely to verbalize their issues.

Nice topic though...

I can only speak for myself, but there were certainly highs and lows especially during the first six months. I've been on antidepressants for quite some time and I think that helped me cope with the frustration. That frustration for me, a least, manifested itself sometimes as anger at myself for having had the surgery, at the surgeon for having been there when the surgery took place, and at anyone else who happened to get in the way during that time. But then, frustration is generally my way to cope as opposed to tears since starting the antidepressants.

 Ken thanks for that honest sharing.  So far what I have studied all of you have touched on,  Men internalize more as part of the male ego.  I also notice or see as men our venting often comes out in form of agression/frustration as men are taught to handle and be in control.  Surgery I have found levels much of the playing field, everyone is vulnerable and thus not in control.  This leads to our go to emotion or coping, food, acting out, crying, sleeping, depression whatever it may be.  I commend anyone that seeks help as this puts you back in control of your actions.  At least that is what I believe.  On the 12th of March we shall see if I internalize or lash out or cry out "who did this to me"

I noticed that the emotional roller coaster occurred exactly when I couldn't go to my old friends food and booze. They had been voted off the island, never to return.

So I have been developing my new friends prayer and exercise.

I've been happy with the results and seem to find that they do just as well on the tough days.
I don't know how much the starting testosterone shots has evened out the estrogen dump, but I haven't really been teary or anything. More short fused a few times, which is totally out of character for me.

Besides women are just crazy (with or without surgery).

 I think you made good choices in your new freinds.