I need some encouragement...feel like a loser
Hey fellas! It has been a LOOOOOOOOOOOONG time since I posted on here. I need some encouragement. Let me give you a little history on yours truly....
I'm 35. Had DS done in February 2009. I started out at 375 and got down to 175. When I was at 180, I tried for SIX months to gain weight. I was getting pretty thin. I was eating carbs out the wazoo and still lost 10 more pounds. Then all of a sudden (literally) I started to put on weight. I went to see my doctor and she was going to put me on meds to help stop losing weight (I forget what it's called!). I was scared to take them and it turns out I didn't need them. I put on 10 pounds in a month! Again, I got down to 175 and I'm not up to 225. I can't stop eating!! I'm hungry ALL the time!!! And yes, I eat a lot of junk food. I just can't stop. I just love carbs! :( I'm really getting frustrated at myself. The last year and a half has been the most stressful time in my life. I've been going back to my old stress-eating habits. My dog wa**** by a car Wednesday and I just want to drown my sorrows in some brownies. I had WLS because I couldn't stick to a diet. I needed that tool to help me. I know it doesn't and won't "fix" everything. I have to do my part. And the surgery certainly has helped!! I'm just scared all my old eating habits have broken my DS and it won't work anymore. Does that make sense? My wife and I are getting memberships at the YMCA to start working out. I don't know if working out will help lose carb weight or not.
I feel like such a failure. I feel like with every pound I gain...every bigger size pants I have to buy (again), people are just saying "I knew he would gain it back!"
UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUGGGGGHHHHHHH!!! I'm sorry if I sound like a whiner. Anybody want to encourage me?? I could use it!
I'm 35. Had DS done in February 2009. I started out at 375 and got down to 175. When I was at 180, I tried for SIX months to gain weight. I was getting pretty thin. I was eating carbs out the wazoo and still lost 10 more pounds. Then all of a sudden (literally) I started to put on weight. I went to see my doctor and she was going to put me on meds to help stop losing weight (I forget what it's called!). I was scared to take them and it turns out I didn't need them. I put on 10 pounds in a month! Again, I got down to 175 and I'm not up to 225. I can't stop eating!! I'm hungry ALL the time!!! And yes, I eat a lot of junk food. I just can't stop. I just love carbs! :( I'm really getting frustrated at myself. The last year and a half has been the most stressful time in my life. I've been going back to my old stress-eating habits. My dog wa**** by a car Wednesday and I just want to drown my sorrows in some brownies. I had WLS because I couldn't stick to a diet. I needed that tool to help me. I know it doesn't and won't "fix" everything. I have to do my part. And the surgery certainly has helped!! I'm just scared all my old eating habits have broken my DS and it won't work anymore. Does that make sense? My wife and I are getting memberships at the YMCA to start working out. I don't know if working out will help lose carb weight or not.
I feel like such a failure. I feel like with every pound I gain...every bigger size pants I have to buy (again), people are just saying "I knew he would gain it back!"
UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUGGGGGHHHHHHH!!! I'm sorry if I sound like a whiner. Anybody want to encourage me?? I could use it!
As for me, I am poor and needy, but the Lord is thinking about me right now. You are my helper and my Savior. Do not delay, O my god. (Psalm 40:17, NLT)
www.facebook.com/stephen.spaur
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My 2 cents on the regain. I got down to 187...I'm now about 215. I exercise to counteract my poor eating habits. What I have done (since I can still eat curmmy) is be sure I get in some raw vegetables. I will try and eat a salad everyday...carrots, cabbage, spinach leafs, ect. Try and get that full feeling. I will also eat a lot of oatmeal...boring but filling...for when I cheat!! I'm there with you bro.
Hi Stephen,
You may not remember me but over a year ago I sent you a PM and you were kind enough to spend your time and reply and answer all my questions, some very personal. I appreciated that so much and the info you gave me was very information and helped me decide on the path I chose. I had my DS Jan of this year and I'm down over 100lbs. I feel you had part in that and I will do what I can to help encourage you.
You my friend have not failed, the reason I say this is because you are looking for the answer. Failures don't look for or even want answers because they believe there is no answer and they just want pity. I would encourage you to go back and read you profile page and remember the reasons you had surgery. If I remember correctly you are a christian and you know that joy only comes from above and it does not come from food or anybody but Jesus. I also remember your wife had this surgery as well, correct ? Remember she is your help mate and you have each other to lean on. A good wife is a gift from God.
I am still a newbie but from what I read you can eat, eat all you want as far as it is PROTEIN!! You need to be happy that you are not almost 400lbs and still need to loose 200lbs. You did this man and you know how it's done. Get back to the PROTEIN first and I'm sure the YMCA will help. Please PM me if you want I would be more then happy to help any way possible. Remember you can do all things through Christ who strengthens you!
You may not remember me but over a year ago I sent you a PM and you were kind enough to spend your time and reply and answer all my questions, some very personal. I appreciated that so much and the info you gave me was very information and helped me decide on the path I chose. I had my DS Jan of this year and I'm down over 100lbs. I feel you had part in that and I will do what I can to help encourage you.
You my friend have not failed, the reason I say this is because you are looking for the answer. Failures don't look for or even want answers because they believe there is no answer and they just want pity. I would encourage you to go back and read you profile page and remember the reasons you had surgery. If I remember correctly you are a christian and you know that joy only comes from above and it does not come from food or anybody but Jesus. I also remember your wife had this surgery as well, correct ? Remember she is your help mate and you have each other to lean on. A good wife is a gift from God.
I am still a newbie but from what I read you can eat, eat all you want as far as it is PROTEIN!! You need to be happy that you are not almost 400lbs and still need to loose 200lbs. You did this man and you know how it's done. Get back to the PROTEIN first and I'm sure the YMCA will help. Please PM me if you want I would be more then happy to help any way possible. Remember you can do all things through Christ who strengthens you!
I'm the poorest example of someone following a food plan without junk food. I'm a junk food junkie. Acknowledging it is nothing new. I know I've had this problem for about 40 years. My RNY afforded me a permanent weight loss of 220 lbs but I know I can do better if I work at it.
And, I have found a method to work on it that has worked for me in the past. I use Dr Judith Beck's book, the Beck Diet Solution Weight Loss Workbook. It's a companion to the Beck Diet Solution, but even Dr Beck says you don't need the original book. I suggest doing all written work in spiral notebooks or you may want to do it on some digital device. I just suggest not actually writing in the book. By using notebooks, I allow myself more room to write my answers. Dr Beck simply asks that we not skip and choose as we work through the book. She gives questionaires at the beginning of the book and then provides 42 lessons which she calls "Days." Ideally you could take the course in 6 weels. but there is no need to rush through the lessons. You will be using some of them for the rest of your life. Others may not be needed but try them at least once.
The thing about it is that it does require some discipline and work. I hate doing it but I know that it works. The book teaches you to think like a thin person. And, this takes practice since we've been practicing poor eating habits for years.
An advantage of the WLS was that it gave us a honemoon period to learn how to eat correctly while losing a great amount of weight. You're past the honeymoon, but you can still go back to eating correctly. The Beck book will give you written exercises that will help.
A simple example of the way it can change the way you think is the simple idea that we eat automatically or compulsively. Dr Beck gives the example of sitting at a table that has cookies on it and coasters. We eat the cookies and not the coasters. That sounds logical enough, but she points out that we don't automatically eat the cookies. We see the cookies and the coasters and choose to eat the cookies. By being aware that we do make a decision to eat the cookies allows us to learn techniques to not eat them. That is, we can take an action that counteracts our original thoughts about eating addicting foods. Again, we will need practice on this. And, we will have to review these procedures from time to time.
And, I have found a method to work on it that has worked for me in the past. I use Dr Judith Beck's book, the Beck Diet Solution Weight Loss Workbook. It's a companion to the Beck Diet Solution, but even Dr Beck says you don't need the original book. I suggest doing all written work in spiral notebooks or you may want to do it on some digital device. I just suggest not actually writing in the book. By using notebooks, I allow myself more room to write my answers. Dr Beck simply asks that we not skip and choose as we work through the book. She gives questionaires at the beginning of the book and then provides 42 lessons which she calls "Days." Ideally you could take the course in 6 weels. but there is no need to rush through the lessons. You will be using some of them for the rest of your life. Others may not be needed but try them at least once.
The thing about it is that it does require some discipline and work. I hate doing it but I know that it works. The book teaches you to think like a thin person. And, this takes practice since we've been practicing poor eating habits for years.
An advantage of the WLS was that it gave us a honemoon period to learn how to eat correctly while losing a great amount of weight. You're past the honeymoon, but you can still go back to eating correctly. The Beck book will give you written exercises that will help.
A simple example of the way it can change the way you think is the simple idea that we eat automatically or compulsively. Dr Beck gives the example of sitting at a table that has cookies on it and coasters. We eat the cookies and not the coasters. That sounds logical enough, but she points out that we don't automatically eat the cookies. We see the cookies and the coasters and choose to eat the cookies. By being aware that we do make a decision to eat the cookies allows us to learn techniques to not eat them. That is, we can take an action that counteracts our original thoughts about eating addicting foods. Again, we will need practice on this. And, we will have to review these procedures from time to time.
OK sjbob, You got me so curious about that book/workbook I ended up buying it online right away. I actually went to Amazon.com and found a used hard copy for one (1) cent plus shipping and bought 2 workbooks for the wife and I.....each cost $6.87 plus shipping. So defiantely reasonable on Amazon! Thanks for the tip and sounds like something the Mrs. and I can do together!
Mike, the back of the book has responses/suggestions for you to learn. They can be torn out since pages are perforated. I suggest copying them onto 3"X5" cards instead becasue the tips do not appear elsewhere in the book. Learn from my mistake. This is a self-help course but I'll be glad to help anyone who needs it.
One of the suggestions I could never do was to plan my meals in advance as far as specific foods are concerned. My wife does the cooking and she sometimes doesn't have any idea what she's going to make when she goes to work. I've been able to plan amounts of protein, grams of complex carbs and grains. You do what you can do.
One thing with the use of spiral notebooks is that I can look back at what I ate at various points of my post-op journey. I can also see if I'm treating eating or behavioral problems differently than I have in the past.
One of the suggestions I could never do was to plan my meals in advance as far as specific foods are concerned. My wife does the cooking and she sometimes doesn't have any idea what she's going to make when she goes to work. I've been able to plan amounts of protein, grams of complex carbs and grains. You do what you can do.
One thing with the use of spiral notebooks is that I can look back at what I ate at various points of my post-op journey. I can also see if I'm treating eating or behavioral problems differently than I have in the past.
Mike, I was just wondering if you got the books yet. I'm being careful and slow this time around. I really don't care if I spend a week on a step ( a Day for Dr Beck). I just don't want to abandon the program. I resist it, but by having to face the program and myself, I am making slow progress. I think I'd up to Day 8. In a way, it's kind of like delaying the inevitable. But, I know from experience that the program can work. Bob
WOW.. your story scares me!!.. I had my surgery 16 months ago.. I'm down to 168 pounds. Although I'm not TOO thin, I seem to be able to eat anything I want and I don't gain weight.
I worry that I've returned to some of my old habits.. (evening snacking on junk food).
My pouch (RNY) still limits the quantity I can consume.. and although I can eat more "slider foods" like crackers, or chips.. I still can't eat huge quantities like I used to.. (a large handful of potato chips compared to a whole bag).. The only thing that I definately stick to.. is that I stop eating when I'm full. Prior to surgery I never ever got full .. so I'm still thrilled with this new sensation.
I'm starting to accept that I CAN eat some of this food without weight gain.. I do feel guilty in that I don't always get enough protein (some days only 30G) but if I eat more protein, I seem to fill up faster and actually loose more weight. I'm just getting comfortable with my eating pattern. Giving myself permission to eat this stuff and not feel guilty.. (I'm now actually the person that I've envied all my life.. the guy who can eat anything he wants and never gain weight)... then I read your story and wonder if this will happen to me..
Have you tried eating your protein first!.. I find dieting so counter productive.. As soon as I tell myself that I can't have a cookie.. I seem to be preoccupied with cookies.. I crave one... but if I tell myself that I can eat the cookie AFTER I've eaten chicken leg and green beans (protein and good carbs) I find that I just don't have room or just don't want it. Have you tried the protein first approach? does that help fill you and keep you full and help you avoid the brownies and empty carbs?
J
I worry that I've returned to some of my old habits.. (evening snacking on junk food).
My pouch (RNY) still limits the quantity I can consume.. and although I can eat more "slider foods" like crackers, or chips.. I still can't eat huge quantities like I used to.. (a large handful of potato chips compared to a whole bag).. The only thing that I definately stick to.. is that I stop eating when I'm full. Prior to surgery I never ever got full .. so I'm still thrilled with this new sensation.
I'm starting to accept that I CAN eat some of this food without weight gain.. I do feel guilty in that I don't always get enough protein (some days only 30G) but if I eat more protein, I seem to fill up faster and actually loose more weight. I'm just getting comfortable with my eating pattern. Giving myself permission to eat this stuff and not feel guilty.. (I'm now actually the person that I've envied all my life.. the guy who can eat anything he wants and never gain weight)... then I read your story and wonder if this will happen to me..
Have you tried eating your protein first!.. I find dieting so counter productive.. As soon as I tell myself that I can't have a cookie.. I seem to be preoccupied with cookies.. I crave one... but if I tell myself that I can eat the cookie AFTER I've eaten chicken leg and green beans (protein and good carbs) I find that I just don't have room or just don't want it. Have you tried the protein first approach? does that help fill you and keep you full and help you avoid the brownies and empty carbs?
J
Sorry to hear about your dog. Have you tried any OA or 12 step program? I have been involved in a 12 step program for weight loss peeps only and it has helped me a lot! I am 15 months out from VSG and have lost 225 lbs and have slowed down to a about a pound a week or so. I do think the mental change is just is as important as the surgery! By asking for help means you are on the right path!
All your words and insights have touched my heart today. Thank you! I am encouraged....
As for me, I am poor and needy, but the Lord is thinking about me right now. You are my helper and my Savior. Do not delay, O my god. (Psalm 40:17, NLT)
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