First Restaurant Meal After Surgery Anxiety

Went to my girl's play (Sound of Music) last night.  Very nice and they did awesome.  My wife and I decided to take them out to dinner at Longhorn Steakhouse afterwards and this would be my first venture out to a restaurant since surgery.  I had checked out the menu and had a plan.  I ordered the Kids Grilled Chicken Tenders, barbecue dipping sauce, a baked potato (dry) and a side of grilled shrimp (to split with my wife).

Well food wise, I was able to eat 3 out of the 4 grilled tenders and dipped each bite into the BBQ sauce.  Had a couple of bites of potato and one bite of a piece of shrimp.  The food all went down well but I found that I was so anxious the whole time (about dumping, etc...) that I didn't enjoy the meal at all and mistook the full feeling for being sick.  As soon as I got up and walked outside to the car I felt good again.  Not sure if I'll venture out to a restaurant for a little while as the anxiety really put a damper on things.  My wife noticed that I wasn't doing too well but the girls happily had their dinners (which was good).

I found myself looking at the giant plates of appetizers coming by and big draft beers and had mixed emotions internally.  I really didn't want them just triggered all kinds of mixed feelings of man I can never have those again (or can I in moderation???).

Has anyone else experienced this type of anxiety the first time they ate out after surgery and does it get any better?

I can't say I experienced the same level of anxiety that you did, but I know the feelings you were experiencing on a smaller scale (sorry....). 
My first meals out were lunches with my wife or daughter and were limited to soup at Panera - that, and the apple to take home.  Wife's birthday (she was turning 65) meant a "dinner" out - she chose Houlihan's and they have a wide variety of appetizer-portion items.  I ordered taco soup, which was great, and chicken-skewers, which were too tough for my taste, but overall the meal was fine.  Wife enjoyed her martini and her full meal and it was a pleasant night out. 
I'm 3.5 most post-op VSG, and I've pretty-much lost any anxiety about eating out; I'm just very careful about how much and how fast (read: SLOW) I eat. 
All along, it has been important for me to make my program fit in to our normal life.  We have a social "supper club" that meets monthly (It's been going for 20 years) and I just eat smaller amounts of whatever is being served, except desert, which I skip.  I also regulary fix a "Pop-Pop special" dinner for the grand kids. (Pancakes w/either sausage of bacon, berries, etc.)  I eat tiny portions; they never notice, and we're all happy about our time together. 
We're committed to making a life-change; it's a process that takes time and it involves emotional/intellectual adaptation as well as physical - for me, it's getting better every day. 
Now, I'm off for my 3 mile jaunt in the neighborhood.  Good luck on your journey.   

Nice post.  I appreciate your info and love the "Pop-Pop Special" dinner.  Great stuff.  Yup, part of the journey to health and wellness.  Thanks.

Dude,

You're barely a month out and still getting used to what is going on in your modified innards!  Yes, it gets better!  You got lucky in that some folks, myself included, have/had issues with chicken that soon after surgery.  Tends to make some folks   Same for shrimp too early out.  Congrats too on a good first meal out choice.  Longhorns are very RNY friendly.  Give the pork chops a whirl next time you go.  Eat on and take one home.

I am amazed at the size of portions that restaurants serve!  I guess since I've had surgery I pay more attention than I did before.  I had to tell the local Italian restaurant I go to for lunch not to bring me so much food!  One meatball with a little spaghetti is all I'm want.  Not three meatballs and huge bowel of spaghetti.

Yes, I agree that maybe I was a bit harsh on myself.  I think the busy Friday night restaurant added to my anxiety.  The food didn't seem to be the problem.  I guess hearing all of the horror stories of dumping, purging, etc... had me on edge the whole time.  I should have sat back and enjoyed the company and just ate because I knew it would be all right.

Thanks for the future recommendations.  I was wondering about pork in the future and that is good to know.  Do you put any sauces on anything or eat them just as is?

I was wondering about pork in the future and that is good to know.  Do you put any sauces on anything or eat them just as is?

I try to get the BBQ sauce on the side and just use it as a dip.  Partial to a little Heinze 57 Steak Sauce still too.  More in regards to pork you'll be able to eat pulled pork, pork ribs, ham and OMG - BACON!!!

Halelujah!!   Well, now that you've got my mouth watering for pulled pork and ribs I've got to go up and have my ground turkey with fat free turkey gravy!!  Good to know about the Heinze 57 steak sauce.  Thanks and hearing these things make this journey that much easier.  Good stuff!

I have to agree with Don - you are luck to be eating what you are this close to surgery.  At that time after surgery, I was was still on purees.

I do think that it is important that we learn to integrate our new eating habits into our life as we live it...and for that matter we can't expect others to change just because we are changing. There are better choices at almost any restaurant. It's just up to us to make that decision and to not feel sorry for ourselves when we do. For example, our office Christmas party was held at a very upscale steakhouse. While I used to love a huge, piece of rare red meat, I can no longer tolerate it. So, I had a cup of lobster bisque for my meal as the others ate their steaks. I enjoyed the bisque (and it was actually a treat considering my normal choices are much healthier) as much as anyone enjoyed their steaks. And, I had no pouch discomfort at the end of the meal.

I guess my point here is that I have the ability to make the choice to enjoy the life I want as opposed to the life I had. Perhaps in some ways I am now paying for my previous lifestyle, but there is no reason I cannot enjoy where I am now. In fact, it would be fair to say that I have replaced the "pleasure" I used to find in food with the pleasure of more activity and the ability to actually get out and do more. And, I'm enjoying it!

Good luck on your journey.

I like how you put it that you have replaced the "pleasure" that you used to find in food with the pleasure of more activity and the ability to actually get out and do more.  That is ultimately my goal as well.  I made it to the gym today for the third straight day and did my 15 mins on a treadmill and then 15 mins on the recumbant bike.  I'm feeling stronger and healthier each day.  I've got to remember to keep my eyes on the prize... 

I'm several years out and can eat anything...and I mean anything.  Yet, certain things don't sit well with my pouch; soft serve ice cream, pork, fried anything, cream soups.  Anytime I'm in a restaurant I know I will be bringing 1/2 to 2/3 home in a box...It's a given.  I now order the normal items (good quality-low fat) and bring it home, rather than ordering the appetizer (which are often fried).  Early on the high of getting on the scale surpassed the low of the limited selection at the restaurant.  You haven't missed much!!  Go visit a friend in the cardiac care unit and it will wake you up real quick...