Post Surgery - Stress

Hey, Jim...  You'd probably have better results asking on the main forum about a support group in your local area.  Give them the actual city and maybe even area of the city, and you might be surprized and find a group very near to you...  If not, as the Motel 6 commercial says, "We'll keep a light on for you" here on the Men's Forum...

I am in the Bay Area. Oakland to be specific.

 I had surgery in December and the one thing I can tell you from my experience is that you just took back control of your life. You probably fought for years with your weight I know I did. Now I am 46 lbs down as of today, and I am starting to recognize the person my mind has always seen in the mirror.

Life is about choices, you made the best choice for you and don't look back. We can all say "what if", there aren't many who step up and say "screw what if, change is required."

Have fun with this life change, embrace your decision, and love what your body will become.

I've never really understood this secrecy thing regarding WLS. I heard women talk about it in my support group and thought it was just a woman vanity thing.. but have since read that lots of men struggle with this concept too..
I was a fat kid, a fat teen and a fat adult.. My baby brother always teased me about my weight. When I started the surgery, he said.. "Just let me know when you are getting close to MY weight and I'll have to start dieting.. I'll never be bigger than YOU".. Well friends.. baby brother is now about 30 pounds heavier than I am.. I actually took some of his clothes that were too small for him.

He made some comment about doing it the easy way!!.. as if I'd cheated the system!!.. Doesn't bother me in the least. You are at the hard stage right now.. The first 3 months are difficult. I laugh when people say it's the easy way out.. Ha. although I did not find the surgery particularly painful and my recovery was very quick.. It was a struggle to re-introduce foods and find out what "sits well" etc. but now at 9 months out.. I can eat anything I want.. My brother would never consider the surgery because he drinks a lot (booze) and could never give that up.. even temporarily. I was never much of a drinker so that wasn't an issue for me.. but I seriously worried that I would miss food so much that it would depress me.. Thankfully I just rejoice in the fact that for the first time in  my life.. I'm FULL.

Find a support group.. or better yet a person who you connect with.. I connected with a daughter of a co-worker in my early stages.. I liked her down to earth approach.. I also liked that she wasn't a WLS zealot..she'd tried some foods out of sequence.. she'd had some sugar, diet pop etc.. I've never met this girl in person, but she'd answer any of my questions without a few hours.. Even the gross ones about poop and puke etc..  Ask your questions here,, and add people to your "friends list" If you don't want to ask questions in a public forum, send a private message to a friend.. find someone you connect with..
I have all kinds of support from family and friends,, but most of the time when I have problems or questions, I want to talk to someone who's been through it.. My skinny friends can't understand the joy of being able to sit in ANY chair,, the unexpected thrill of catching your reflection in a store window and for the first time being thrilled with your image and not looking away in digust.

I'm so thrilled with this surgery and how it has changed my life that I tell everyone.. I could care less if anyone thinks this is a weak self indulgent unneccessary procedure. It's the best thing I've even done for myself..

Mostly I've got to tell you that it only get's better from where you are.. Eating becomes easier, pounds start to fall off, bowels become regular, confidence builds, social situations (involving eating) become simpler.. It doesn't sound like you've had any major complications.. you are just going through the difficult part of this procedure.. very soon my friend it's going to get a lot easier and you are going to walk around with a permanent smile on your face...
John

John - This is completely off -topic, but I'm wondering if people tell you you look like the actor Harrison Ford?

Jim, you and I had surgery a day apart from each other and I can really relate to your desire to keep your surgery to yourself. Most if not all of us researched our options for months or years before deciding on surgery and it was not a decision any of us took lightly nor do we think of it as the easy way out. That being said, announcing it to friends, coworkers, even sometimes family sometimes invites a whole torrent of uninformed and sometimes embarrassing questions and opinions. While all comments were kind and well intentioned, it still was awkward. 

I personally made the decision not to advertise my surgery but not to deny it either. Remember when Star Jones for months claimed she had lost all that weight from diet and exercise? While true it was not the whole truth and eventually the whole truth was made public. 

Right now we are new to this change in lifestyle but life goes on and things tend to normalize. I'm sure in a few months when we are looking in our rearview mirror at this time in our lives, it will seem much more trivial. 

Good luck on your journey.

@JohnA: In my time asking my friends and telling them that I was going through this process all but one of my friends have been really supportive. I guess I will not go so far as to call him not supportive but there are certainly a bunch of ignorant people in this world. Making the statement that this is taking the easy way out is just shows his ingnorance about WLS and what people have been struggling with for years. and this is certainly not the easy way out...

and what is amazing to me is that his sister went though WLS two years ago...It makes me wonder what kind of conversations he had with his sister while she was going through her surgery.

Harrison Ford! I would agree as well..hahah!