Scared

I'm not sure I've been this afraid in my life.

I know the feeling...Im in the preapproval process still....but I find comfort in reading these guys posts that have gone through it!

I think that fear is a natural reaction to this kind of a major change. It indicates to me that you are taking this seriously. Many times, out of the fear comes a firm resolve that this was a good decision; and that will help you get through some of the rough times ahead. And, yes, most of us have had some rough times after surgery - some physical and some mental. There may be a period of time where you are unsure that your decision to have WLS was the right one - there certainly was for me. I cannot speak for everyone, however for me, once the rough times passed, I fully realized what a great thing this has been for me.

So, keep your attitude straight and don't let the fear get the best of you. Good luck.

What you're feeling is completely normal.  We all go through a period just before surgery where we wonder "What in the heck am I doing here?  What if this doesn't work?  Will I have screwed up my digestive system for life, and gotten no results?  What if I die on the operating table?  What if the surgeon screws up and I wind up with a gaping hole in my stomach and..."  The list is as endless as your imagination...  We ALL went through it.

But, you stop and think rationally for a moment.  I know - it's hard when you're  close to full-blown panic - at least that's how I felt a few days before my own surgery less than 3 months ago. 

If you're like most of us, you've tried everything under the sun to lose weight in the past.  You've probably lost dozens of pounds (and regained it all) dozens of times.  You've probably failed with more diets than most people have ever even heard of...  

Since you're here on OH, you've probably read a lot about your particular surgery.  You've selected a surgeon whose experience, judgment, and skill you trust.  You've been through a long, drawn out process to get the approval from your insurance company.  Your surgeon (and probably a mental health professional) has met with you, discussed your case in depth, and has agreed that you're a good candidate for success following WLS.  You've seen dozens (if not hundreds) of success stories - people whose lives have been re-vitalized because of the weight loss they achieved thorugh WLS.  You've given this a lot of thought, and decided to go through with it.  But now that it's "just around the corner" it's suddenly VERY REAL, and you're about to move beyond the "talking" stage to the "experiencing" stage... 

Know that you are NOT alone.  You're not the first person to go through this period of "Oh my God, what am I doing?" just before surgery.  There are even stories on this board about people who got into the pre-op room, and "chickened out" - only to experience deep regret later, and return for surgery a few months (or years) later.

The good news is that you're having your "flight" reaction now, and not in the OR.  The other good news is that what you're experiencing is PERFECTLY NORMAL.  You are about to have major, life-changing surgery.  There IS a small chance that something could go wrong.  You would be CRAZY to not experience some degree of fear and anxiety about that possibility. 

But you know what?  The risk of dying on the table is (on average) less than 1% for all types of WLS, and goes even lower if your surgical team has lots of experience.  If you're significantly obese, your risk of dying from heart problems, stroke, or other obesity-related diseases is probably higher RIGHT NOW than the risk you'll experience during the surgery. 

I can tell you from my own experience that I went through this same "going crazy with fear" thing for a couple of days just before my surgery date, then I suddenly came to peace about the whole thing.  I trusted the guy I picked to do my surgery.  I trusted the hospital staff where the surgery would be done.  I had all the guys on this board praying for me and thinking positive thoughts for me as I went through the surgery.  I trusted in God to keep me safe.  But I also made sure my affairs were in order - just in case.

The night before my surgery, the anesthesiologist called and talked me through the entire process.  He talked about his role, and how he had performed literally thousands of procedures with my surgical team.  He talked about how good Dr. Nick (my surgeon) was, and how it was amazing to watch him operate.  He talked about a member of his own family who went through the same RNY procedure with Dr. Nick that I was having, and how well she was doing a year after surgery.  By the time he said "See you in the morning," I was totally at ease about the whole process.

The next morning, they asked me in the pre-op area if I wanted something for my nerves.  I said "What for?"  I could absolutely not believe how calm I was, considering how scared I had been just a couple of days earlier.  The worst part of the surgical experience for me was the insertion of the IV needle - and that was less painful than the last time I had blood drawn!  As he began to administer the sedation drugs, the anesthesioligist said "You'll probably begin to feel a bit drows..." and I was out like a light. 

When I woke up in the recovery room, I asked for my wife and they brought her in.  Next thing they did was show me how to use the "pain button"...  I barely remember any of this, but my wife says I pressed the button 27 times over the next 5 minutes.  Not that I was feeling any pain - I wasn't - but I was apparently having fun playing with the button.  She said I would NOT let her set that button on the bed beside me, but insisted on holding it in my own hands.

In what seemed like just a few minutes to me, they took me to my room, I met the nurse and "tech" who would be taking care of me.  They were both WLS veterans themselves, and were amazingly helpful.  I had some "discomfort" because of all the swelling and air they pump into your abdomen to give them room to do the surgery, but I can honestly say the pain levels were way less than what I was expecting.  Within a couple of hours, I was up walking the hall (with that darn catheter dragging along - 2nd worst part of the whole deal). 

It's been a little less than 3 months since then, I my only regret is that I waited so long to have the surgery.  I've lost a lot of weight (almost 90 lbs as of this morning), but the difference that it's made in my life is incredible.  I'm able to do things (already) that I haven't done in years.  I'm working out at the gym almost every night, which I was absolutely unable to do 3 months ago.  My blood pressure has dropped from 145/95 to 126/76.  I'm no longer borderline diabetic.  My resting pulse rate has gone from 88 to 72.  My shins and ankles are not swollen and painful all the time any more.  I can go shopping with my wife for hours without experiencing fatigue and back or knee pain.  I am just about done with the CPAP machine - I really don't need it any more, but it does help my wife sleep better because it stops me from snoring...  And I feel absolutely great! 

So, as I said, what you're feeling is perfectly normal.  We've all been through it, and come out the other side armed with a tool to help us regain control of our lives.  Trust your decision.  Trust your surgeon, his team, and your nutritionist.  Resolve right now to follow their advice and instructions to the letter.  If you do all that, you'll not only get through the surgery just fine, but you'll also be off to a great start on your weight loss journey. 

We're looking forward to welcoming you to the "loser's bench".  A bunch of us will be here to give you advice when you ask for it (and sometimes when you don't.  We'll even be here to give you a swift kick in the a$$ when you need it...  But mostly, we'll be here to celebrate along with you as you begin to experience the life-transforming changes that you will go through over the next few months/years.  Remember, this is a marathon, not a sprint.

We'll be praying for you starting right now, but especially on Monday.  When you are able following surgery, come back and let us know how you're doing.  Best of luck to you!

Good post.  Me likey!

Dittos to what the others have said.  Especially Jim's post.

Completely normal.  just keep in mind that you are making a change to improve your life- is it easy- no, is it worth it YES! 
Good luck to you-

Jim's post is right on the money. What wonderful info to read.

For me, I was very surprised at how "easy" this surgery was. Not a lot of pain or discomfort. Surgery was at 8:30 a.m. and I was up walking around by 1:00 p.m.

Surgery was on Friday and I was back to work on Wednesday.

You're in my thoughts and prayers. Hang in there and be sure to let us know hw you're doing.

Great post Jim!

 Jim really has said it all and it's all true!  Great post!  And i remember when he was having some of those fears and second thoughts!  We are all glad he has done so well and is now an inspiration to us all!

Hoping and praying all goes well for you and WELCOME to the losers bench!  Come here frequently for advice, support , and the occasional butt kick...(only when needed of course).

All the Best!  Mike