The public confession of an anxious man
You all know that I am manic-depressive and a food addict. Fortunately or unfortunately I am also a Roman Catholic who was raised in a strict household. Given that background information, I want to make a public confession to you (which would not embarrass my wife). I throw in that last phrase because, oftentimes, when I am acting in a manic manor, I do things that DO embarrass her.\
For example, on Christmas morning she was telling me that the couple who we call "Mr and Mrs Perfect were the lectors at midnight Mass. I told her that I had introduced myself to them and remembered that his name is George but that I'd forgotten his wife's name already. I further went on to say that they had a good laugh when I told them our nickname for them as a couple. My wife was ready to be swallowed whole by the earth we walked on. Just remember that we have been parishoners alongside these people for over 30 years. There was something else similarly that happened in the past week but I've forgotten it already.--The old foot in mouth disease as I apologized to one of the Men a couple days ago. I'm getting frustrated just typing. I know touch-typing but start going nuts when spell checker starts highlighting words I have wrong.. I've found out that I just have to consciously slow my typing speed down. I CAN'T peck at the keys--strangely enough, I have no idea where the letters are and I get very frustrated. I'm actually better off closing my eyes and hoping my fingers are on my proper "homeor base" keys And, for any women who are tempted to comment on this post, I ask you to Contact me directly and not Post on the Men's Forum.
.ANYWAY, Here's my confession: I've been missing Sunday Mass more and more frequently. I have confessed it to my priest. For the past few years he and a weekend assistant (a retired missionary who helps out with Masses on weekends) have cautioned me that I'm going to go to Hell for that "Mortal" sin ( I bet a bunch of you who were brought up Catholic are LOL and rolling on the floor). Well, with my mental problems, this has bene a real problem for me.
Finally last year my priest finally "got it." I'm not missing Mass to spite God, when I don't "feel" like going to Mass, I am usually having a physical or mental problem. I am also not being lazy.. I explained that I have to take about 14 pills when I wake up and I need to take some of them after eating. I also need to take most of them with at least a sip of water. So, I usually have my one cup of coffee with some pills and then eat and have a few more pills a half hour later. That's only a problem on days on which I have to go to Mass. The coffee "loosens" me up and my wife says I surely don't need that ( and don't call me Shirley). I oftentimes have explosive loose movements throughout the day. Lately, my movements have been coming in groups of three like a musical composition: I'll go & finish my trip and just get a step or two out of the bathroom and then I have to "go" again. These are usually opuses in 3 movements. I don't know why. I only know that it is embarassing if it isn't happening at home--because I know it will happen. I tried giving up the coffee until lunch but I was still having the same explosive problem.
Finally, in the past year my pastor has understood that I actually do have physical and mental problems (Duh?) and am excused from not going to Mass when I don't Feel like it. Guess What? I still carry around my old Catholic sense of guilt even though the Church (and, I believe God ) has forgiven me.
Have your laughs. I think just writing this down has eased my mind. Thanks. Bob
For example, on Christmas morning she was telling me that the couple who we call "Mr and Mrs Perfect were the lectors at midnight Mass. I told her that I had introduced myself to them and remembered that his name is George but that I'd forgotten his wife's name already. I further went on to say that they had a good laugh when I told them our nickname for them as a couple. My wife was ready to be swallowed whole by the earth we walked on. Just remember that we have been parishoners alongside these people for over 30 years. There was something else similarly that happened in the past week but I've forgotten it already.--The old foot in mouth disease as I apologized to one of the Men a couple days ago. I'm getting frustrated just typing. I know touch-typing but start going nuts when spell checker starts highlighting words I have wrong.. I've found out that I just have to consciously slow my typing speed down. I CAN'T peck at the keys--strangely enough, I have no idea where the letters are and I get very frustrated. I'm actually better off closing my eyes and hoping my fingers are on my proper "homeor base" keys And, for any women who are tempted to comment on this post, I ask you to Contact me directly and not Post on the Men's Forum.
.ANYWAY, Here's my confession: I've been missing Sunday Mass more and more frequently. I have confessed it to my priest. For the past few years he and a weekend assistant (a retired missionary who helps out with Masses on weekends) have cautioned me that I'm going to go to Hell for that "Mortal" sin ( I bet a bunch of you who were brought up Catholic are LOL and rolling on the floor). Well, with my mental problems, this has bene a real problem for me.
Finally last year my priest finally "got it." I'm not missing Mass to spite God, when I don't "feel" like going to Mass, I am usually having a physical or mental problem. I am also not being lazy.. I explained that I have to take about 14 pills when I wake up and I need to take some of them after eating. I also need to take most of them with at least a sip of water. So, I usually have my one cup of coffee with some pills and then eat and have a few more pills a half hour later. That's only a problem on days on which I have to go to Mass. The coffee "loosens" me up and my wife says I surely don't need that ( and don't call me Shirley). I oftentimes have explosive loose movements throughout the day. Lately, my movements have been coming in groups of three like a musical composition: I'll go & finish my trip and just get a step or two out of the bathroom and then I have to "go" again. These are usually opuses in 3 movements. I don't know why. I only know that it is embarassing if it isn't happening at home--because I know it will happen. I tried giving up the coffee until lunch but I was still having the same explosive problem.
Finally, in the past year my pastor has understood that I actually do have physical and mental problems (Duh?) and am excused from not going to Mass when I don't Feel like it. Guess What? I still carry around my old Catholic sense of guilt even though the Church (and, I believe God ) has forgiven me.
Have your laughs. I think just writing this down has eased my mind. Thanks. Bob
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