Gents:

I am an old-timer here, one of the original Men's board members. I'm 6 years post RNY, FWIW. I haven't even lurked for about 2 years, though.

Y'all know about the 'blowing up the stomach' tale that circulates over in The Estrogen Pit on a constant basis? I've always called BS on it, but there is a grain of truth to it.

After losing my weight, I became a volunteer fireman/EMT because I was fit enough to do it. I also started what I call my book, a collection of the best war stories I have. Below is one relayed to me this weekend by one of my fellow EMTs who was there. Someone really did blow up their stomach...

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Are you out of your f*ing mind? A second hand tale; November 2010

 

Note to my usual suspect audience. This tale will wind up going to a larger crowd than usual for reasons soon apparent, but those others do not know of my recent back issues. Therefore, there will be more background than usual before getting to the nugget inside. Bear with me…

 

I've been having back issues that have had me sidelined from fire and rescue games since late September, namely 2 herniated disks in my lower back. I'm on the mend now, and attempted a partial shift this past weekend to see how well I was doing. That didn't go so well, so I'll be sidelined for a bit longer. This tale was a war story from earlier in the day, as told by of my partners who took that call.

 

It was Thanksgiving Friday, and I took the day off from the day job to fill out a 4 day weekend, and I heard the original page. The call was for a woman at the nursing home who was not feeling well. Actually, I was paged twice, because my fire station was also called for lifting assistance; the patient weighed 459 pounds. Obviously, I didn't go because I can't handle more than about 50 pounds at the moment myself, and I have to be very careful even doing that.

 

The radio traffic from the nursing home started out as routine, got a bit urgent, then the ambulance beat feet to the closest hospital. I was a bit perplexed, but I knew I'd get the story later that night. Did I ever…

 

Let us now pause for a little more background material. Everyone reading this, from any source I use, knows I had a gastric bypass about 6 years ago. I lost a metric buttload of weight, and I've kept most of it off since. There is a story that makes the round among the pre-ops of the proverbial friend of a friend who knew someone else that had the surgery, then blew up their stomach a month, a year, or even a decade later by eating too much. Being the logical skeptic that I am, I've always called bull**** when I heard it, with little effect on the propagation of the tale.

 

I cornered my surgeon one time about it. It took a lot of badgering to get him to admit there is a nugget of truth to the tales, but it's mostly a useful lie. The human stomach is one of the three strongest muscles in the body, and someone that has successfully recovered from the procedure can't rupture anything by gluttony. It can happen to a fresh post-op, however, and the useful part of the lie is in the telling so the fresh post-ops don't try. Now, back to the tale.

 

Turns out our patient had gastric bleeding is a true foodaholic, and a WEEK out from a bypass procedure. A family member had smuggled her a plate of ribs.

 

I sort of freaked my two partners out by my strong reaction. "WHAT THE F*CK WAS SHE THINKING?!? She's supposed to be on a liquid diet for anywhere from two to six weeks post op, and she's eating RIBS? I hope she survives the peritonitis…" I have never hidden that I had the procedure, but I also don't think the other two knew I had it myself.

 

I remember my one screw up two days after I got home from the hospital. I was thirsty, and chugged a glass of icewater, having forgotten the rules about sips and small bites. I was in extreme discomfort for about 5 minutes, until the water drained out. I can't imagine doing what she did by eating something solid.

 

I guess I owe my bad back a debt of gratitude. Had I not been sidelined, I probably would have taken the call. If I was there and heard about gastric bleeding by the patient blowing the post-op rules, I would probably be dismissed from the rescue squad for going berserk on a patient.

I hope your story serves as a warning to the newbies.  I miss seeing your posts.  There are a lot of new men here that can use your strength as inspiration and also benefit from your observations.  Welcome back.

WOW...I am new enough to have not even heard the tales. Glad that I have that warning in my brain now though.

Thanks for sharing, and I hope to hear more from you in the future.

Chad

She'll probably blame the surgery for failing her when she never loses or when she regains - if she ever loses to begin with.  <----- at the ignorant ass female