A very sensitive question
Ok, I got asked something tonight that I don't know how to handle correctly. Here's the back-story.
My very best friend of 17 years had cancer last year. (He's more of a brother than my real brother could ever be.) He has been cleared and now he and his wife are pursuing in-vitro fert toward having children.
They're not sure if his sperm is viable enough, so the doctor suggested they consider a back-up plan.
He asked if I would think about being his back-up. As I understand it, my sperm would be somehow introduced along (?) with his in the fertilization process.
I haven't talked to my wife about it yet, as I'm not sure how to even go about that. Inside, I feel like it would be a good thing to do, but obviously her opinion on this matter is equally as important as mine. We have three children (one three-week old baby), and have "called it quits". I'm planning on having a V in the near future.
Things to consider:
1) He lives on the east coast, and I on the west. There wouldn't be very much contact between us and the child, if it were to be my genetics.
2) I am a child of adoption, so the idea of parents being non-gene sponsors really isn't a big deal.
3) He's my brother, for all intents and purposes. And, both being LDS, family is extremely important to him and I. I feel like if I can help him enjoy children as much as I do, I ought to help him out. I don't feel obligated, just that it could be right.
Ok, locker room. You've helped me much in the past, what are your thoughts?
My very best friend of 17 years had cancer last year. (He's more of a brother than my real brother could ever be.) He has been cleared and now he and his wife are pursuing in-vitro fert toward having children.
They're not sure if his sperm is viable enough, so the doctor suggested they consider a back-up plan.
He asked if I would think about being his back-up. As I understand it, my sperm would be somehow introduced along (?) with his in the fertilization process.
I haven't talked to my wife about it yet, as I'm not sure how to even go about that. Inside, I feel like it would be a good thing to do, but obviously her opinion on this matter is equally as important as mine. We have three children (one three-week old baby), and have "called it quits". I'm planning on having a V in the near future.
Things to consider:
1) He lives on the east coast, and I on the west. There wouldn't be very much contact between us and the child, if it were to be my genetics.
2) I am a child of adoption, so the idea of parents being non-gene sponsors really isn't a big deal.
3) He's my brother, for all intents and purposes. And, both being LDS, family is extremely important to him and I. I feel like if I can help him enjoy children as much as I do, I ought to help him out. I don't feel obligated, just that it could be right.
Ok, locker room. You've helped me much in the past, what are your thoughts?
I think if it is something you can do, and you have prayed about it. You have talked to your wife about it and you realize that the child would not in no way be yours... and you truly do love him. The hard part... The child isn't yours. Remember that part forever... not yours... Maybe DNA wise, it "Could" be yours... But for all intensive purposes it is NOT and never will be. If you think you can deal with that and handle that, Then you know your answer.
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