The 3 d's---Depression, dissatisfaction divorce
Hven'tted on here in a long time....going thru tough times right now. Maybe some of you can help me out cuz may have been where I am. In a nutshell, I am going thru a severe bout of depression...seeing a counsellor and meds...but still in a bad funk. I am feeling very unhappy and I feel like I no longer want to be married. I have gained back 25 pounds of the 120 I lost....
Any and all advice will be gratefully accepted.
Steve
Any and all advice will be gratefully accepted.
Steve
I can definately sympathize. I went (am still going?) through the same starting last summer. My problem was I really didn't feel like anything - I mean nothing. I felt like I wanted to disappear. By this winter, I was almost completely emotionally disconnected, and things came to a breaking point. Thankfully my wife decided not to leave, and we made a commitment to do our best to work through this. (Because I was so withdrawn, she had no idea what I was going through.) The funk is still lurking around, but not as often; most days are good. Antidepressants made me crazy; and, it turns out after doing some bloodwork, I had some nutritional deficiencies that were contributing to the funk. A change in diet and adding some vitamin supplements have helped. (No more rx meds.) I went through a lot of stuff that would've been difficult enough w/o WLS in the year after I had it, and it has taken a while to adjust to all the things life threw at me. Right now, I take things one step at a time. This way life is manageable to me. I make the extra effort to talk more to my wife. Its how we are reconnecting. I neglected our relationship and it almost cost me. I have tried to renew the joy in the little things I once liked to do such as spending time with my kids, playing frisbee with my dogs, etc. Your little things may be different, but they are no less important because they are a part of who you are. In my case, I let depression rob me of my joy, and by extension, my identity. I'm not sure if any of this applies in your situation cause I'm no expert on what causes depression, but hang in there.
"It was a long way, but he knew where he was going." Corey Ford, The Road to Tinkhamtown.
1 since you state that you are going through a severe bout of depression, continue with your current treatment. Depression runs a gamut from mild to severe and treatment varies based on the severity and the individual. As to anti-depressants, if they are being prescribed by a MD who is not a psychiatrist, consider making the change. A psychiatris is a MD with a specialty. Nuff said about that.
2 Do have your a responsible doctor order labs. You may have vitamin deficiencies. It's also possible that your andi-depressants or your weight loss may be affecting you. Many men go through hormonal changes post ofp. Part of that is due to the shock to the system and part of it is simply due to the loss of weight.
3 talk to your wife about the difficulty you are having. If you love each other, this may be difficult but it's better than you keeping resentments bottled up in you and possibly exploding in the future. Do you have an outlet for any bad feelings?
For example, I suffer from manic-depression and my brother suffers from depression ( the two sides fo the family curse). We know we can talk about our frustrations and understand each other. On the other hand, I've had incidents in the past where I've suddenly gone into a depressive panic and went to talk to my wife about it and she asked what I expected her to do about it. Well, oftentimes, just reaching out to her helped me a lot but it didn't do much for her. She'd suggest that I call my shrink or a counselor and everything worked out.
4 I assume you know your wife. You should be able to be open with her without assesing blame for anything on either of you. Remember that Depression is an illness. The best comparison I can make is to compare it to heart ailments: Some are mild and some are more severe. Some mild ones may last a lifetime while some sever ones may last only a short time. Regardless, most can be treated with early detection.
Although I am not a counselor of any kind, you can Contact me directly if you need to talk. Heck, if the need is urgent, I'll even give you my regular e-mail and phone number. Bob
2 Do have your a responsible doctor order labs. You may have vitamin deficiencies. It's also possible that your andi-depressants or your weight loss may be affecting you. Many men go through hormonal changes post ofp. Part of that is due to the shock to the system and part of it is simply due to the loss of weight.
3 talk to your wife about the difficulty you are having. If you love each other, this may be difficult but it's better than you keeping resentments bottled up in you and possibly exploding in the future. Do you have an outlet for any bad feelings?
For example, I suffer from manic-depression and my brother suffers from depression ( the two sides fo the family curse). We know we can talk about our frustrations and understand each other. On the other hand, I've had incidents in the past where I've suddenly gone into a depressive panic and went to talk to my wife about it and she asked what I expected her to do about it. Well, oftentimes, just reaching out to her helped me a lot but it didn't do much for her. She'd suggest that I call my shrink or a counselor and everything worked out.
4 I assume you know your wife. You should be able to be open with her without assesing blame for anything on either of you. Remember that Depression is an illness. The best comparison I can make is to compare it to heart ailments: Some are mild and some are more severe. Some mild ones may last a lifetime while some sever ones may last only a short time. Regardless, most can be treated with early detection.
Although I am not a counselor of any kind, you can Contact me directly if you need to talk. Heck, if the need is urgent, I'll even give you my regular e-mail and phone number. Bob
Most Active
Recent Topics
