Funny Dumping story

So today I went out to lunch with the guys and my wife was in the area and met us.  We had gone to a nice restaurant.  I ordered the cajun pasta with a bowl of broccoli and cheese soup.  I ate the soup, and the small piece of chicken with the pasta but didn't eat the pasta because I was full so took it home for my wife to eat later.  I was fine at the restaurant, and we had walked around the mall a little then decided to go back to work, it was about a 20 min drive.  My coworker was driving and then I felt that feeling that I had to **** and had less then 3 min to get my ass on the toilet before having a wardrobe malfunction.  So I told my coworker I needed him to stop at a gas station or somewhere with a toilet asap.  The closest place to us was a Burger King, so I went in went straight to the mens room and there was only 1 stall and someone was in it, so I was like **** this I went in the womens room.  I did my business, then left the womens room, went into the mens room to wash my hands quick and was walking out.  This middle age fat woman came up to me to yell at me, she said What the hell? I saw you go into the womens room for 10 min, you ought to be ashamed of yourself I ought to call the police. (In a really *****y voice)

I said to her "Look lady the stall in the mens room was occupied and I REALLY had to ****A toilet is a toilet so who gives a damn.  (in a bit of an asshole tone)

Then I walked out got in my coworkers car and we left.

Just found it funny that this lady made a big deal out of it.  I would rather **** in a garbage can then ever have another wardrobe malfunction. 

Some people have no sense of sympathy.  What would she have you to do?  Pop the top off a garbage can and **** in it?

And the women wonder why we don't want them in the men's room. Yet at stadiums and such they can go in the men's restroom without problem, but don't try the reverse or face arrest.

I was on my way to see my bariatric surgeon on Cleveland.. The same thing happened.. And coincidentally it was a Burger King.. Some guy was in the stall and boy did it stink..

But I just held it until I got to the clinic.

My one and only dump was on a cream soup or some ham...I really think it was the cream soup...too much oil and fat...I have been careful ever since about those soups.

This is a good one.

I think I would have just stood in the Men's Room and just **** in my drawers and not move until that dude got outta the stall. While standing there, I would have already prepped some paper towels with soap and water.

Then I would have then just took baby steps, go into the stall and take my underwear off and toss them in the trash and then commence with massive cleaning process.

I had similar situations, but I don't think I would use the Lady's Room. I'm sure if the cops wanted to be *****s, they could arrest u.