Lots of Questions....please let me know !
Hey all, I would like to know what your thoughts are about bariatric surgery and male body image. Was negative body image a reason you decided or are deciding to have bariatric surgery? Tell me about how you felt about your body before you had the surgery, and then maybe how you feel about your body now that you have had the surgery. How has the surgery impacted your sexual relationship? How has the surgery impacted your relationships with the opposite sex? Have any of you broken up with significant others post bariatric surgery? What do you think is the main difference between men's experience of the bariatric surgery process and women's experience of the bariatric surgery process. Do you feel more attractive now that you have gotten the surgery? Was the surgery all you thought it would be? How did you go about deciding to have the surgery? What does your significant other think about you getting surgery? . . . please let me know what you think men!
There are multiple answers to all of your questions except one. That one is when you ask us men to compare our experiences with bariatric surgery to women's experiences. Since we are not both men and women, we simply can't tell you.
My reason for the WLS was not body image; rather, it was survival. My primary, psychiatrist, and surgeon all agreed that I'd only have 1-2 years to live if I didn't have the surgery. I was 571 lbs and eating myself to death. On a simple note I'm still alive and had my original RNY on 11-14-00. I later developed a staple line disruption and had a revision RNY on 01-21-05. I forget a lot of dates but I don't think I'll ever forget those dates. I didn't feel anything until post-op but they were significant dates. I've been married for over 35 years and would never leave her. She's the only person I've ever had sex with and we were both virgins on our wedding night in 1974.
If you look at my Latest Posts, you'll see that I post here a lot. I'm successful in that I'm maintaining a 230+ lb weight loss. But I have had problems staying away from snacks. I'm a junk food junkie and white carb/sugar addict. My recovery (or lack thereof ) is colored by my problems with manic-depression. So, I am not typical.
Continue to be a part of the discussion here. Look up other men's profiles and their Latest Posts. You will be able to relate to many of the men here. You may even find a few who have similar stories to yours and you may want to Contact them directly.
My reason for the WLS was not body image; rather, it was survival. My primary, psychiatrist, and surgeon all agreed that I'd only have 1-2 years to live if I didn't have the surgery. I was 571 lbs and eating myself to death. On a simple note I'm still alive and had my original RNY on 11-14-00. I later developed a staple line disruption and had a revision RNY on 01-21-05. I forget a lot of dates but I don't think I'll ever forget those dates. I didn't feel anything until post-op but they were significant dates. I've been married for over 35 years and would never leave her. She's the only person I've ever had sex with and we were both virgins on our wedding night in 1974.
If you look at my Latest Posts, you'll see that I post here a lot. I'm successful in that I'm maintaining a 230+ lb weight loss. But I have had problems staying away from snacks. I'm a junk food junkie and white carb/sugar addict. My recovery (or lack thereof ) is colored by my problems with manic-depression. So, I am not typical.
Continue to be a part of the discussion here. Look up other men's profiles and their Latest Posts. You will be able to relate to many of the men here. You may even find a few who have similar stories to yours and you may want to Contact them directly.
I had RNY for health reasons. A better looking body is a bonus.
Max wt. 500+ WLS workshop 4/6/09 440 Surgery 9/21/09 324 9/21/10 218
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Apparentlyl in my case it made NO difference, quite sadly .. Still alone in this world , which is probably why I'm into regain now .. 
I guess it's not realistic to expect gals to fall over ya just b/c you're not (less?) fat now, anyway .. esp. when close to 50 y.o. I also sometimes think that gals in our generation (i.e. their 40s) are more into being "independent", unlike our parents' generation and before them, when "coupling up" seemed to be the norm ..
(and the younger generation STILL hooks up, b/c of hormones, of course 
) .. Maybe I'm just being pessimisstic .. 
Oh well, at least you'll get to see more of "Mr. Happy", at least for awhile, for what it's worth ..
What is your take on the relationship part of it, Herc?
I guess it's not realistic to expect gals to fall over ya just b/c you're not (less?) fat now, anyway .. esp. when close to 50 y.o. I also sometimes think that gals in our generation (i.e. their 40s) are more into being "independent", unlike our parents' generation and before them, when "coupling up" seemed to be the norm ..
(and the younger generation STILL hooks up, b/c of hormones, of course ) .. Maybe I'm just being pessimisstic .. Oh well, at least you'll get to see more of "Mr. Happy", at least for awhile, for what it's worth ..
What is your take on the relationship part of it, Herc?
Frank talk about the DS / "All I ever wanted to be was thin, like that Rolling Stones dude ... "
HW/461 LW/251 GW/189 CW/274 (yep, a DS semi-failure - it happens :-( )
The main reason I had surgery was for my health. Also, I was not the dad I wanted to be. I have an 11 year old son that should have a dad that he can have fun with. I have a better body image now , but it was far down the list of reasons. As far as my relationship with my wife it has made no difference , and she left the decision up to me and has supported me everyday since I made it.
No longer about weight , it's all about living.
Hey all, I would like to know what your thoughts are about bariatric surgery and male body image.
Body image is on a back burner besides it gets worse post op because of the sagging skin! Yuck! Granted working out helps with some of the skin issues but not all. Starting to like looks of shoulders and arms but my stomach is an entirely different situation!
Have any of you broken up with significant others post bariatric surgery? What do you think is the main difference between men's experience of the bariatric surgery process and women's experience of the bariatric surgery process.
Yes. Biggest difference is that while they have us outnumbered by a wide margin we have the advantage in that we loose our weight faster than they do. From what I have seen posted on OH the ladies though seem to be more compliant with tracking/journaling than we are.
Do you feel more attractive now that you have gotten the surgery? Was the surgery all you thought it would be? How did you go about deciding to have the surgery?
Not always. Some days think I look kind of gaunt but have noticed getting smiled and winked at by the ladies more often.
It has been one hell of a ride! Imageneers (sp) at Walt Disney could not design a wilder ride! 
Got tired of seeing the fat, tired looking man in the mirror. Deal clincher for me was last trip I made to Vegas with my ex-wife. It literally kicked my ass! Out of breath and hurting the whole time. Sweating like it was July and we were there in February! Give it seven months post op, a divorce and when I went with new girl friend it was like Night and Day! No pain, never got winded and fit in the plane seat w/o any problems!
Body image is on a back burner besides it gets worse post op because of the sagging skin! Yuck! Granted working out helps with some of the skin issues but not all. Starting to like looks of shoulders and arms but my stomach is an entirely different situation!
Have any of you broken up with significant others post bariatric surgery? What do you think is the main difference between men's experience of the bariatric surgery process and women's experience of the bariatric surgery process.
Yes. Biggest difference is that while they have us outnumbered by a wide margin we have the advantage in that we loose our weight faster than they do. From what I have seen posted on OH the ladies though seem to be more compliant with tracking/journaling than we are.
Do you feel more attractive now that you have gotten the surgery? Was the surgery all you thought it would be? How did you go about deciding to have the surgery?
Not always. Some days think I look kind of gaunt but have noticed getting smiled and winked at by the ladies more often.
It has been one hell of a ride! Imageneers (sp) at Walt Disney could not design a wilder ride! Got tired of seeing the fat, tired looking man in the mirror. Deal clincher for me was last trip I made to Vegas with my ex-wife. It literally kicked my ass! Out of breath and hurting the whole time. Sweating like it was July and we were there in February! Give it seven months post op, a divorce and when I went with new girl friend it was like Night and Day! No pain, never got winded and fit in the plane seat w/o any problems! Never, and I mean NEVER, trust a fart!! 
I wanted to stay alive. Having a bit better self image is a plus, I guess.
The free man owns himself. He can damage himself with either eating or drinking....... If he does he is certainly a damn fool, and he might possibly be a damned soul; but if he may not, he is not a free man any more than a dog.
I am retired from the Marine Corps (retired in 96). I was ultra fit for most of my life, then let it all go to kaka just after leaving the Marine Corps. I was defeated, embarrased, and setting one poor example for my family. I managed to turn it around and started doing marathons in 2007, but still at ridiculous weights of 260 or so. One of the absolute turning points for me was when I saw my beautiful teenage daughter eat 5 hot dogs in one sitting. It had to stop--I had to get a grip and lead my family out of where I had taken them.
My daughter is now running 1/2 marathons with me (we have one tomorrow). My wife had lap band and is now preparing for 10K runs. WE ARE BACK!
My daughter is now running 1/2 marathons with me (we have one tomorrow). My wife had lap band and is now preparing for 10K runs. WE ARE BACK!
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