Were/Are You Selective On Who You Told/Tell?

 At this point I have only a few people that actually know about my surgery in Feb. and to be honest I can't see me telling anyone anytime soon. Pre-Op is pretty easy keeping things to myself , but when I start dropping weight it is going to be more work :)

I can see me responding "eating less and working out more" to every question I get from friends and family Post-Op just to avoid the headache of explaining the hard work and life change that the RNY brings...as well as squashing all the misinformation they are sure to spill. 

So, I ask...how did you / do you explain the weight loss to friends and family that you didn't clue in from the beginning? 

Also, if someone you think would benefit from Gastric Bypass asks you, do you jump right in and talk about the surgery or do you test the waters first and then clue them in?

I still struggle with this question even though I don't get asked nearly as often as I used to. It happened yesterday though.  Someone asked me,  "So what's the secret?"  I got asked the same thing last week.  "Wow, you look great.  What's the secret?"  MY answer to people that I am not really close to is typically something like,  "I am attacking it in several ways.   Excercise, Eating better, Medical Help, Dietician help, and spiritually working on being more mindful."  I keep the medical part vague.  However, many of the people I work with and know more personally know exactly what I did.  It was actually easier for me to tell people at the beginning than it is now when they ask.  Now, I am so focused on what I am doing to maintain that  the surgery seems like a long time ago already.  Weird.

I should add that when someone is really heavy and is asking me, I will mention WLS because it was such a life saver to me, I want them to know that it does work and has helped me a lot.

Dude,

Sounds like you already have a pretty good plan!

Telling your family is almost a must.  If you have somebody who is not going to be very supportive - save your time.

Also, if someone you think would benefit from Gastric Bypass asks you, do you jump right in and talk about the surgery or do you test the waters first and then clue them in?

If they ASK FIRST give them honest answers.  Don't just blurt out "You're fat and this surgery can help you!"  As much as you want to DON'T! 

You will find yourself looking at obese people and think "There by the grace of God, go I".  People that knew/know me from Atlanta never knew me as an obese person.  Most don't believe I was ever 331 pounds unless I show them the pics!  Lady at the drug store in a town I used to police in here in TX could not believe how much smaller I am now. 

One more thing - that "restaurant card" you may get from your doctor about allowing you to eat off the kiddy menu - TOSS IT!  Pay full price and take the rest home.  Kiddy menu fare is usually fried crap and is not good for you.  GF and I have a couple of servers in the ATL that know us, and wondering where the hell we have been, and know why we do what we do splitting meals since we are both RNY's.  Any other server when we ask for a to-go box we just tell them that "...our eyes are bigger than our stomachs!"  We ain't lying!

For me, it really depends on howe it comes up.  If it is somebody that I like or seems like they are truely curious or could benifit from the info, I just come out and tell them exactly what I did.  I say that I had WLS and have worked my ass off since.  If it is some jack off that wants to know so that they can gossip or try to belittle, I give the exercise and eat less speech.  It is not lying by a long stretch.  For me it really depends on who it is and how they approach the question.

I lost more than 100 lbs just to get ready for my RNY. I began telling people at work back then if they were interested. Now, I found myself telling the cashier at Walmart when she noticed I lost weight. She was obese and seemed interested in WLS. 

I told immediate family, and friends who see me on a regular basis. I did not tell distant family, or friends who live far away. Part of the treat of losing the weight is to show up one day 200 pounds lighter than the last time someone saw me.

As for those who ask how I'm doing it, the answer depends on how interested I am in talking about it at that moment. For those I don't really want to talk to much, I see I'm eating less and exercising more (both true statements). For those I don't mind talking to, I mention the surgery in the context of everything I am doing. For my fattest friends, I am willing to go into as much detail as they ask about, but never pu**** on them - I'm still not sure I recommend it unless someone is hopelessly huge, and is in impending doom from health issues.

Secrets tend to make an ass out of you sooner or later.  Before surgery tell the people you see often, and if any one else asks after you start to lose, be honest.  Who cares what they think anyway?  You made a decision for you and your family that you wanted to live a longer healthier life.

Good Luck, hope you do as well as I have.

this is the way I intend to go about my WLS.  It is what it is, a tool to help  you lose weight.  Anyone that has issues with it was probably talking about you when you were overweight.  Who cares.  Be honest and up front and you have no stress in hiding the fact that you care enough about yourself to help get yourself healthy.  Why hide that??

 I'm of the school that you should tell those in your immediate regular social orbit about your WLS beforehand, and for numerous reasons:

  1- To keep you "motivated" before WLS, in case you have 2nd thoughts later on ;
  2- So that you will have their support and needed prayers during the WLS  ;
  3-  To nip in the bud any potential bad rumours that can start and spread with family, friends, work, etc. when people do notice your rapid, major weight loss afterward.   It's amazing what kind of things can start circulating around, e.g. that you have a serious illness (i.e. cancer, AIDS, etc.), are having bad marital problems, that you have developed an eating disorder, etc. etc.  
  4- To continue to encourage your progress and staying on track afterward   ;

  5- And, after you are a success, to pay it forward as a good example of WLS that might inspire others to do the same.