Collaborative Humor Attempt: WLS related Quotes

 I would like to keep this thread alive as long as possible. Please post anything WLS related, preferably funny or interesting that occurs to you. Here's the first one:

"Post RNY movements first looked like snakes. I was unable to eat much at all. Now what I see looks like everything I've eaten in the last 12 hours,  finely food processed. And what's the other stuff that's holding it together? Is that poo or is it the protein powder?"

too many Carbs = massive amounts of gas, add protein powder.. and you have something very dangerous that will clear out a room.

 Gas, when eating carbs post-RNY. The dog lets out a cry and leaves the room.

Best I have is #4 below!

i'm almost 5 years out, and i still sleep with a wash rag down the back of my shorts...Never trust a fart

I hate my life.. i wanna die..pull in to this Dairy Queen.. that should finish me off..

 Not sure which is better, the weight lost, or the inches gained.

Every time I go to a restaurant the waitress thinks that I hate the food because I eat such a small amount.  Last week I had lunch at a local bar.  I ate the burger without the top bun, and I ate about 7 or 8 french fries.  When I told the bartender she could take away my plate with the big pile of fries still on it the rest of the people in the bar thought I was nuts throwing so much food away.

You can't explain to everyone that you had WLS.  I just say that I paid for it so I can throw it away if I want to.

 I've had that one too. I hate it when that happens. I thought of a quote for the situation:

"I thought about the people starving in Ethiopia. Then I realized this pile of fries could only push them/ me closer to the grave." 

And/ or

"Who's idea was it to put these on the menu in the first place?"

Hey Dave,

Mostly because of your bizarre training stories a couple of years ago, I've purchased and started doing P90X. Everybody I know that has used it says, "I hate it, but I love it.", and that's kinda where I'm at. I'm on week three, did the plyo workout tonight. I was able to push myself quite a bit harder tonight than I did last wk and last wk was better than the first wk. I'm gonna weigh and measure tomorrow and see if there's any major change yet. I haven't really worked hard at changing my diet yet. That may come later after I'm more settled in to the routine. AT any rate, thanks for being the one who kinda got me started down this road.

PS. I haven't done a pull up or chin up since I was about 20. And I still haven't. But I'm getting closer.

 Hi JFish,

Wow, I had no idea I was starting something with the P90X. I've gone on Facebook to connect  with nearly 40 of my high school friends and I can't get a single one to try P90X. I'm certainly glad you are having success with it. What I liked about it was, there are so many exercises done in every variety for every body part it helps give you a physique resembling that of  a professional dancer.

Good luck on the pullups. One options is to step up to chin level, then let yourself down to a count of eight. Or do that 4 times and do a lat pulldown machine or stretch corz the remainder (or just alternate). The ability to do pullups is almost totally related to body weight.

Quote here:

"Doesn't matter if you've had WLS, after you're first year, you're probably not going to lose weight without diet and one, even two hours of exercise a day."

"Jarring exercise like PlyoX or jogging, when you don't have a pyloric valve is likely to shake all but simple carbs really quickly through the small bowel - but don't quote me on that."

Best Wishes,

Dave