I'm not abstinate from addictive foods yet

that was some committment to abstinence I made last week.  The only problem is that I haven't been abstinate for a single day since then.  I do try but I continually fail.  My bright spot when I look at my addiction is the knowledge that I'm lucky to not be addicted to drugs or alcohol.  I say that becasue I understand the seeming desperation of an addict.  At least what I do is legal even though it is not healthy.  I can understand why so many people just seem to be going on a merry-go-round of treatments and indulgence.  They simply can't help it.

I was reading in the OA big book-Compulsive Overeater about hitting bottom.  I remember years ago having an OA sponsor who said that hitting bottom is a relative thing.  You can always be worse, but your bottom is the point at which you are more willing to work the program than indulge your addiction.  The OA big book says that you can work the program when you are willing to turn your whole life over to the care of your higher power.

I still have vestiges of my life that I want to control.  It's not that I can do a better job than my higher power.  I believe that my God cares more for me than I do for myself.  What can I say?  I guess I'm a little rebellious.  It seems like such a small thing when I look at it, but I struggle with the control and consequently, I struggle with the addiction.

Thank you for indulging me like this.  Oftentimes things just look clearer to me when I write them down and share them with someone.  Bob

 I'm no expert on addictions, Bob ..   and I know groups like AA and NA teach complete abstinance from the addictive substance ..  

  However, it seems from what I've read on OH over the years it is not realistic or even a good thing to try to completely abstain from certain "fav" foods ..  Do try to do so only sets one up for failure ..   and then that starts a vicious circle .. 

  They say it's better to indulge a little in the food from time to time when you absolutely have to have it, so that you don't feel "deprived" ..  The key is "moderated control", I guess ..    

I've had addiction counselors and therapists tell me to stay away from the addictive foods.  However, I do perceive that one of the problems with food is the creation of insulin in the the digestive process.  I don't understand that process and I don't blame that for my lack of success.

I did contact a behavioral therapist who is also a food addict back in the early part of this year about deviating from a proscribed diet.  She said that it is ok to occassionally plan on having food that is not on your diet as long as it is not addictive food.

I can only say that, from personal experience, I know that I'm walking a slippery slope when I do pick up the addictive foods.  Mind you that I don't go into non-stop binging anymore.  The WLS simply stops that.  But, I can get back in the habit of snacking all day.  On the other hand, when I am vigilant and avoid the addictive foods, I can enjoy the freedom from the compulsion.  I experienced that for about 4 months from 01-29 through mid May.  I didn't even think about picking up the addictive foods.  I was able to go out with friends and family to restaurants where they had all sorts of "goodies" and I was satisfied with proscribed foods.

I pray that God will grant me the gift of abstinence again.  And, when He offers it, I hope that I willingly accept it.  Bob