O.K., Am I Just Paranoid About Women (Again)?

  

 I keep thinking (praying? wishing? famtasizing?) that gals might actually like me now that I have so much weight off me ..    I could swear at least they weren't repelled by me as a pre-op, but now I'm beginning to wonder ..  

  One of my gripes has always been that good-looking gals never seem to get behind me in line at the store .   Now, it's like no one does, or when it is somebody, I glance back and it's some old dude or heavy old lady ..   The lookers seem to always pick some other line, which does NOT do wonders for my "new self-esteem" exactly .     (what do I have to do, flash a big wad at them?)

  This sore spot came up again tonight in a big way  ..  I was standing in line in a grocery store located in a mostly-Hispanic area of town (I luv the Latinas!  ) and this blonde gal (white) in shorts, good looking, came up to the checkout area ..  I could see out the corner of my eye she was eyeing the lines ..  She stopped and waited for a few secs like she was going to actually get in my line, but then it was like she suddenly changed her mind and went to one 2 lines down ..   On my way out I saw her apparently flirting with a guy next to her in line ..   

   Boy did that hurt , like w. Charlie Brown and his "little red-headed girl" thing ..    Am I being unduly sensitive or what?    Does this sort of thing happen to you, or do you even notice such things?  

   btw, I got the last laugh on her as I drove past her in my black cat (Jag) in the parking lot ..  She got this kinda "taken aback" look in her face as I drove right by her, like maybe she made a mistake in judgment or something ..    
   


 

IMO I think your over thinking it... People go to whichever line they think is fastest lol. Have you ever thought it takes a little more effort than just hoping some random girl you have never seen in your life is just going to strike up a conversation with you in a check out line and then follow you home.

Do you really want a women who is only with you because of the car you drive? I hope you actually have a passion for cars and didnt just go out and buy a jag in hopes to attract a women. Lastly that "taken back look in her face" was probably caused by fear... it was probably more like, omg thats the guy who couldnt take his eyes off me while I was in the shortest check out line, inquiring to some random guy in the next line if he liked the flavor of the salad dressing he had in his shopping cart, because I was thinking of buying it but didnt know how it tasted, now i'm all alone in this dark parking lot and the same guy who was eyeing me down is now cruising by really slowly and is eyeing my down once again lol.

  Geez ..  that was one heck of a "pep talk", Dude  ..       Now I feel even worse .        

   So, what do you recommend to be a big success at finding a keeper?   

   I had Gary Brodsky, "The Pickup Coach" of Internet fame, send me a free ecopy of his ebook - How To Charm the Pants Off Any Woman, after I ran into him one night in a chatroom  ..    So is that what I should try?   Does that stuff really work?   I thought most of it was pretty corny and cliche, but he apparently sells a lot of his books (not to mention his hourly "phone coaching" sessions at big $$s)  ..    According to him, "no" really means "yes", but that "undesrtanding" can also land a fella in jail ..   

    

 

You're putting too much emphasis on size.  Some women like big men and some don't.  Some women like tall men and some don't.  You can't and won't please them all.  I've been attractive to women when I was heavy, slim, and all points in between.  I think what attracts women is confidence, and personality.  Proper hygiene helps too.
Duane 

You are not going to find "that girl" while you are looking for her.  You need to get involved in things you are interested in, and while you are least expecting, and not even looking you will meet someone you click with.  The way you dwell on the subject of women you give me the hebie gebies, I'm guessing like said above, you scare them away with your stairs.  Real relationships have nothing to do with money or looks.

 Thanks, Robert ..  I guess I'll just keep the faith ..

 (btw, I never said I "stared" at anyone ..   don't know how that started ..  I saw her out the corner of my eye ..  Now the gal wearing the black micro-skirt and low cut top that was also in the store at the time I might have gave a lingering look to, from behind ..       - -  dang, what hubby/b/f goes out in public with their gal dressedl ike that???   )

I am going to weigh in herer with Robert. You don't find a woman by looking for her; it just happens while you are doing other stuff. Finding a true love kind of like lightning. You can't get struck if you aren't out there, but no one can ever know where or when either will strike. Get out and do active things where there are women. You will be surprised what a babe magnet you will become. Second, quit waiting for that lightening to strike all by it's self. Help it along with a lightening rod in your hand. Next time why not wait until there is a hot chick in line and then get behind her. A smile and a "hi" while unloading your cart may change your perspective. Not every woman may fond any of us attractive, but the right one will.

PS
     Women are attracted to men who exude confidence in them selves. Not conceit but confidence. I can't help notice that you have posted no pictures, and that is your right, but it may also be a sign that you need to climb out of your fat shell as well. I bet a post of your picture on your avatar and in your profile may get you flirted with right here on OH. Being heavy most of my life I know I never exuded confidence in myself. I substituted arrogance in it's place. I have since learned that I am a long, long way from perfect, but I am a pretty solid person who can do anything I really set my mind to. Confidence has a scent that others pick up on. Just as animals smell fear, they also smell confidence and determination. Showing confidence in the animal kingdom will make a predator look for easier pray and attract the female of the species. A display of confidence happens naturally if you believe in yourself; keep seeing the as glass half full.

I agree with Nick.  CONFIDENCE + Jag + American Express = Long weekends.  Seriously, dont look for it.  Girls can pick up on that.  Be alouf and cut some swagger.  You're a very inteliigent guy (who can spell) thats a hit with the right women. 

Oh. I got some great girl looks having my "s type" towed to the garage.  Poor boy looks.  I worked that, but the damn car ate up all my free cash  LOL.  Switched to   benz and it got me married
Good luck, but I dont think you need it

My experience with dating and meeting women is about 25 years ago, but I found my soul mate when I wasn't even looking. I had been divorced for 4 years and had custody of my two children ages 7 and 11. I just happened to meet Dina one day when I was out withsome shipmates just bumming around and we seemed to hit it off. One thing led to another and here were are 24 years married and happier than ever.

I guess my point is at that point of my life, I had decided to not look for anyone and concentrate my time in homeport with my children.

Just let things happen and don't worry. You'll find the one when the time is right.