Tomorrow at 1pm the battle begins

The day is near, sleep seems to be nothing but a wish tonight, the nerves are hitting me hard right now. I have lost 28 pounds in the last 20 days in an effort to shink the liver and make LAP RNY more possible, but I will still be going in with a BMI of 64. and I can't get the 1 in 50 odds of mortality my doc gave me out of my head. How the hell does a former Marine lets this happen, while I know this is the right thing for me, my health, and my life with my family I can not help but feel like a failure. I did this to myself...I wish I could blame others or a condition...but I have to own it...I did this. So I guess what I need to focus on is that I have to fix it. WLS is not a white flag, but the re-enforcements I need to help beat back an enemy that is trying to kill me. So gentleman...wish me luck...at 1pm on july 18th the battle begins.

SEMPER FI

Best wishes to you.   I Had RNY 10/1/2008.  I really agonized over the decision to do it.  I worried about everything including how I got myself to that point.  My BMI was over 50.  My highest weight was about 412lbs. I saw the Doctor about a week ago and weighed in at 266 lbs. My blood pressure is normal, my sleep apena is gone and my knees and back no longer hurt.  I haven't felt this good in 25 years.  I'm 61 years old and I just wish I had done this sooner.  I still have about 40-60 lbs. to lose but I know it will come off.  It is an adjustment but it is well worth it..Don't worry about the mortality rate.  I'd bet you have a far better chance of dying if you don't have the surgery.  Get ready to change your life!

It looks like you answered your own question, you believe its the right thing for you, so don't let doubt creep in and rob you of doing what's best.  You are not a failure; it takes a lot of courage to have WLS and take back control of your life.  You're gonna get through this and be glad you did it. 

Adapt and overcome...hoo-rah! You can/will make it...

Robert,

Good Luck and see directions below!
                        |
                        |
                        |
                        |
                        V

Don't think of it as a battle, but a cure!  You will do fine.  My BMI was slightly less than yours and i'm at 39 now.  All the best!

I wish you well and a speedy recovery.  I started out with a BMI in the mid 80s so I can relate to your fears.  But, I was more fearful that I would die if I didn't have the WLS.  Depending where you live in the country, you are probably already in surgery.  So,  just do as your doctor tells you to do in the hoep.

As they said in the movie "Apollo 13", "Failure is not an option."  Today is the beginning of a new chapter in your life.  The starter's pistol fired, and the surgeons gave you an explosive kick out of the starting blocks.  And now you continue the race that is there for you to win.  You have all the tools, so as Nike says, "Just do it!"

Welcome to the losers bench, and welcome to the post-op party!!!!!

Welcome to the loser's bench!!! You're not a failure!!! We've all been there. You are taking the bull by the horns and doing something about it.