STUNNED and NUMB - Just lost a good friend

I'm in a state of shock - totally numb right now guys.  I got a call about 45 minutes ago that a good friend of mine passed away this morning. He had his gastric bypass surgery 6 weeks ago Monday. He had a couple of minor issues, but was doing great the last 2 or 3 weeks. He was so excited because he had already lost 53 pounds and was already down to just 1 insulin shot a day. His wife couldn't get him to wake up this morning.  She said he was running a slight fever last night, but otherwise said he felt fine. They don't know exactly what the cause of death was yet.

Before his surgery, we talked a great deal about it. I told him that it was a personal decision, but that I would do it again tomorrow. He told me that I was "an inspiration" and "role model" to him, and that he wanted to be as successful as I have been after his surgery. He said he couldn't wait until the Doc let him start working out with me. He was so upbeat and positive and really looking forward to his new, healthier life. We had already made plans for a couple of motorcycle trips later this summer and this fall. 

DAMN IT ALL!!  I'm really shook up about this - I feel empty and awful -  almost have a sense of guilt about this.

Say a few prayers for him and his family, would you?

Bob,
Sorry to hear about your friend and his family.  A sudden loss is so hard to take.  It's hard to say what really happened to him.  As a guess I'd say a heart attack or maybe a stroke but at this poing that's just a guess.  Don't blame yourself about this loss.  You gave him your honest opinion and he made his own decision.  My thoughts are with you.

Duane

Hey Bob,

    Sorry to hear about your friend. Chances are it didn't have anything to do with WLS. Could have been the years of wear and tear prior to surgery caught up with him. Really makes you stop and think why some of us are so blessed and others have this happen when they are so close to realizing their dreams. Some times bad things happen to good people.

pan head

Bob...very sorry to hear about your friend my brother. I will certainly keep you and his family in my thoughts!

-Rob

 So sorry to hear about your loss, Bob ..  

  It doesn't sound like his death was likely directly due to his WLS.    How long and badly had he been diabetic before his surgery?   Sometimes people (esp. guys, I think) tend to wait until "the last second", unfortunately, before seeking WLS, believing at that point they have nothing to lose by going under the knife.  By then, though they may be in too bad of shape that even the weight loss won't save them.  

  Will they do an autopsy?  It's probably going to be important for "peace of mind" for many close to him, under the cir****tances.   50+ lbs. loss in 6 weeks seems rather rapid and extreme, even for a M RNY patient., btw. 

  I bet what might have happened was your friend either suffered a reactive hypoglycemic espisode in his sleep, or possibly that one shot of insulin was in fact NOT sufficient for whatever he ate last, and he went into a high blood sugar state in his sleep.   If he had sleep apnea, that might have compunded the problem. 

   Prayers going out the way of his famly and for you ..  

The 53 pounds was the total including his pre-op diet. He had lost about 34 pounds since the actual surgery.

Damn Bama. 

That is a hard as**** for you and his family.  Especially if he had children and this being Father's Day weekend.

Was this somebody that you met through Vandy?

Mine and Norma's condolences to the family.

Don,

I had known him for several years. His wife ran the day care where our grandkids have gone since they were born - over 8 years now. We had really gotten to be good friends in the last several months.  He had already decided to have WLS and had been on his pre-surgery loss diet when he approached me about it. He knew I had itand began questioning me about the process, life after surgery, etc. We struck up a really good friendship. Also, we both like to ride motorcycles and had planned a couple of short trips in the next few weeks, plus he and his wife and me and my wife were planning to head to Daytona in Sept.  We, both couples, had a lot in common and all just hit it off really well. This tradgedy just plain sucks!

Thanks for your thoughts buddy - they are truly appreciated.

This tradgedy just plain sucks!

My friend, not to make light of the present situation, I have not seen a tragedy that did not suck!  Some of them suck more based on scale, Sept 11th, or intimacy, your friend's passing. 

Sorry Bob, my thoughts and prayers are with you and yours.

Robert