Backed Out In Pre-op
I am 26 and have been trying to get this approved for two years. Well I got it all approved and today 05/13/09 I was in Pre-Op and got so scared I was in tears, and left. I need some help with this guys. I have looked at so many of the before and after photos but the one thing that I don't see many men at all???? I need to have this done and I want it done I just got very scared for some reason. Please help me with this. I don't know what I need to hear but I'm willing to listen to anything.
Nathan
Nathan
Nathan
It's ultimately going to boil down to you, nobody can make the decision for you. But for me, like the guys above, i was more scared of dying as I was 37 and heading down the wrong path on many levels that would lead to diabetes, heart-attack, stroke, etc. Also, the surgery will only get you so far, you will have to do the work by changing your lifestyle, eating habits, and exercise. My only regret so far is that i didn't do it when i was 30 instead of waiting 7 years.
Where are we going?? And why am I in this handbasket??
right now. somewhere. somebody is working harder than you.
right now. somewhere. somebody is working harder than you.
I know what you mean about being scared. I was actually in the room getting the iv in and thought to myself "what in the crap are you doing? you are an idiot if you think this will work!" Thank God I had my wife by my side (who did this 2 1/2 years ago. We started talking and then walked in my surgeon. We visited for a while and he told me I could walk if I wanted to but when I decided to do this again, I would have to go through the whole process all over again. Man, I did not want to do the 2 week liquid diet again!. I told him strap me in and I would hold on to the ride. I am now 2 months out and have lost 55 pounds. What a difference. I had regrets in the first 3 weeks but not in a long time. When you are ready try again but it is well worth it in the end. I have gone from a 3X to an XL and from a 46 to a 40 pant. YAHOO!
Nathan --
The thought of surgery is a very scary thing, especially for someone your age. But as others have already said, the thoughts of going through life with all of the very real health issues that come from extreme obesity are far worse.
Look at the "member list" on the blue menu bar at the top of this page. You will see that there are a SUBSTANTIAL number of men who have had or are having this surgery. Are there more women? Sure, as there is a higher vanity level about personal appearance between women and men. But the reasons for doing this are not based on six-pack abs ... the primary reasons for men to have the surgery are to live longer, live healthier, have a far better quality of life, and so on, and then maybe comes vanity.
If you haven't already, go back and look at some of the old topics on the Men's Board. Perhaps there are topics there that might address your fears. But it will also let you see some of the experiences that many of us have had.
Your info on the side doesn't tell us the surgeon/facility/program or the type of surgery; we can be more specific in addressing fears with that type of information. But most programs have a counseling/psychological component, and I would encourage you to seek an appointment with a counselor to discuss the specific fears - fear of surgery itself, fear of liquid diets or new eating habits, fear of post-surgery pain, fear of a changed relationship, general fear about the unknown, etc. Fear needs to be narrowed down, and professional folks well versed in bariatric surgery would be your best bet. (I'm not a professional counselor, but I am a minister and do deal with these types of issues). To conquer the fear, you need to be able to answer this question first: "Exactly what am I afraid of?"
I'm two-weeks post-op, on pureed foods, getting my energy back, and getting positive feedback from those who see me and, especially, those who have walked through the process with me. My RNY was laparoscopic, and once they took the pain pump away in the hospital, I have only had one dose of pain meds - a preventative one for the one-hour ride home from the hospital on post-winter Cleveland roads. I'm 57 years old and am glad I have gone this direction. A short time of inconvenience at age 26 with 50+ more years to live ahead of you is certainly a worthwhile tradeoff.
I would be happy to continue this conversation specific to your situation if you want to PM me.
The thought of surgery is a very scary thing, especially for someone your age. But as others have already said, the thoughts of going through life with all of the very real health issues that come from extreme obesity are far worse.
Look at the "member list" on the blue menu bar at the top of this page. You will see that there are a SUBSTANTIAL number of men who have had or are having this surgery. Are there more women? Sure, as there is a higher vanity level about personal appearance between women and men. But the reasons for doing this are not based on six-pack abs ... the primary reasons for men to have the surgery are to live longer, live healthier, have a far better quality of life, and so on, and then maybe comes vanity.
If you haven't already, go back and look at some of the old topics on the Men's Board. Perhaps there are topics there that might address your fears. But it will also let you see some of the experiences that many of us have had.
Your info on the side doesn't tell us the surgeon/facility/program or the type of surgery; we can be more specific in addressing fears with that type of information. But most programs have a counseling/psychological component, and I would encourage you to seek an appointment with a counselor to discuss the specific fears - fear of surgery itself, fear of liquid diets or new eating habits, fear of post-surgery pain, fear of a changed relationship, general fear about the unknown, etc. Fear needs to be narrowed down, and professional folks well versed in bariatric surgery would be your best bet. (I'm not a professional counselor, but I am a minister and do deal with these types of issues). To conquer the fear, you need to be able to answer this question first: "Exactly what am I afraid of?"
I'm two-weeks post-op, on pureed foods, getting my energy back, and getting positive feedback from those who see me and, especially, those who have walked through the process with me. My RNY was laparoscopic, and once they took the pain pump away in the hospital, I have only had one dose of pain meds - a preventative one for the one-hour ride home from the hospital on post-winter Cleveland roads. I'm 57 years old and am glad I have gone this direction. A short time of inconvenience at age 26 with 50+ more years to live ahead of you is certainly a worthwhile tradeoff.
I would be happy to continue this conversation specific to your situation if you want to PM me.
Onward and DOWNward,
Brian Burke - Wellington OH
Brian Burke - Wellington OH
For me I was a walking death sentence. I had a heart attack, double heart bypass, high blood pressure, kidney stones, ect. My cardiologist told me I had congestive heart failure (I'm going to die). I said is there nothing that could be done?? He said "no". Losing weight may help...but really no. I quickly went through the process and haven't looked back.
The night before my surgery I woke my wife up in the middle of the night...asked her "am I doing the right thing??". She said "look you have thought about this for along time, prayed about it, looked at it from every angle. Yes, you are doing the right thing". That settled it (even thought I didn't sleep that night before the surgery). Got it done...Had alittle buyer's remorse ("What have I done to myself!!" Which we all go through). But now I am doing great and am glad I went for it. Scared...Yes...It's major surgery. But it has been proven over and over again. Your a walking cardiac issue anyways. But it must be your decision. We're here for support...but it's your call. Brian
The night before my surgery I woke my wife up in the middle of the night...asked her "am I doing the right thing??". She said "look you have thought about this for along time, prayed about it, looked at it from every angle. Yes, you are doing the right thing". That settled it (even thought I didn't sleep that night before the surgery). Got it done...Had alittle buyer's remorse ("What have I done to myself!!" Which we all go through). But now I am doing great and am glad I went for it. Scared...Yes...It's major surgery. But it has been proven over and over again. Your a walking cardiac issue anyways. But it must be your decision. We're here for support...but it's your call. Brian
If you're scared - it's normal. But, if you don't feel like you can get past it - you are not ready. Take some time - get your brain around it. Talk to the psych again maybe. Ask questions here. Talk to your doc, talk to your family. Go to some support group meetings. When you are ready, you will know it.
A lot of us did this for numerous different health reasons, and I, like others have mentioned, felt my health risks outweighed my fears of the surgery - and I have not looked back. So hang in there! But the brain is as critical as the rest of the surgery - you have to be mentally prepared for this as you go into surgery, and just as importantly AFTER surgery you have to be ready fo the all the new challenges as you go through it. It's a process - you'll get there.
A lot of us did this for numerous different health reasons, and I, like others have mentioned, felt my health risks outweighed my fears of the surgery - and I have not looked back. So hang in there! But the brain is as critical as the rest of the surgery - you have to be mentally prepared for this as you go into surgery, and just as importantly AFTER surgery you have to be ready fo the all the new challenges as you go through it. It's a process - you'll get there.
Only YOU can tell if this is the right time for you to go through the surgery my friend. Are there local support groups you could attend, this may help you talk out your fears of having it? I had some medical issues in my life that made me knew that this was right for ME, again this is a personal decision to have it or not. We can all provide you support here but YOU must make the decision if your ready! Best of luck to you in your decision!
-Rob
-Rob
Pre-Op loss 130 lbs Post-Op loss 93 lbs
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