OT One more n then I'm done
REDNECK CHURCH...
You Know Your Church Is A Redneck Church if ... the finance
committee refuses to provide funds for the purchase of a chandelier
because none of the members knows how to play one.
You Know Your Church Is A Redneck Church if ... people ask, when they
learn that Jesus fed the 5000, whether the two fish were bass or
catfish, and what bait was used to catch 'em.
You Know Your Church Is A Redneck Church if ... when the
pastor says, "I'd like to ask Bubba to help take up the
offering," five guys and two women stand up.
You Know Your Church Is A Redneck Church if ... opening day of deer
season is recognized as an official church holiday.
You Know Your Church Is A Redneck Church if... a member of
the church requests to be buried in his 4-wheel-drive truck because
"It ain't never been in a hole it couldn't get out of." (Love it!)
You Know Your Church Is A Redneck Church if ... the choir is known as
the "OK Chorale".
You Know Your Church Is A Redneck Church if... in a congregation of 500
members, there are only seven last names in the church directory.
You Know Your Church Is A Redneck Church if... Baptism is
referred to as "branding".
You Know Your Church Is A Redneck Church if ... high notes on the organ
set the dogs on the floor to howling.
You Know Your Church Is A Redneck Church if ... people think "rapture"
is what you get when you lift something too heavy.
You Know Your Church Is A Redneck Church if ... the baptismal pool is a
#2 galvanized washtub.
You Know Your Church Is A Redneck Church if ... the choir robes were
donated by (and embroidered with the logo from) Billy Bob's Barbecue.
You Know Your Church Is A Redneck Church if the collection plates are
really hub caps from a '56 Chevy.
You Know Your Church Is A Redneck Church if ... instead of a bell, you
are called to service by a duck call.
You Know Your Church Is A Redneck Church if ... the minister and his
wife drive matching pickup trucks.
You Know Your Church Is A Redneck Church if ... the communion wine is
Boone's Farm "Tickled Pink".
You Know Your Church Is A Redneck Church if... "Thou shalt not covet"
applies to hunting dogs, too.
You Know Your Church Is A Redneck Church if ... the final words of the
benediction are, "Y'all come back now!! Ya Hear"
You Know Your Church Is A Redneck Church if ... the finance
committee refuses to provide funds for the purchase of a chandelier
because none of the members knows how to play one.
You Know Your Church Is A Redneck Church if ... people ask, when they
learn that Jesus fed the 5000, whether the two fish were bass or
catfish, and what bait was used to catch 'em.
You Know Your Church Is A Redneck Church if ... when the
pastor says, "I'd like to ask Bubba to help take up the
offering," five guys and two women stand up.
You Know Your Church Is A Redneck Church if ... opening day of deer
season is recognized as an official church holiday.
You Know Your Church Is A Redneck Church if... a member of
the church requests to be buried in his 4-wheel-drive truck because
"It ain't never been in a hole it couldn't get out of." (Love it!)
You Know Your Church Is A Redneck Church if ... the choir is known as
the "OK Chorale".
You Know Your Church Is A Redneck Church if... in a congregation of 500
members, there are only seven last names in the church directory.
You Know Your Church Is A Redneck Church if... Baptism is
referred to as "branding".
You Know Your Church Is A Redneck Church if ... high notes on the organ
set the dogs on the floor to howling.
You Know Your Church Is A Redneck Church if ... people think "rapture"
is what you get when you lift something too heavy.
You Know Your Church Is A Redneck Church if ... the baptismal pool is a
#2 galvanized washtub.
You Know Your Church Is A Redneck Church if ... the choir robes were
donated by (and embroidered with the logo from) Billy Bob's Barbecue.
You Know Your Church Is A Redneck Church if the collection plates are
really hub caps from a '56 Chevy.
You Know Your Church Is A Redneck Church if ... instead of a bell, you
are called to service by a duck call.
You Know Your Church Is A Redneck Church if ... the minister and his
wife drive matching pickup trucks.
You Know Your Church Is A Redneck Church if ... the communion wine is
Boone's Farm "Tickled Pink".
You Know Your Church Is A Redneck Church if... "Thou shalt not covet"
applies to hunting dogs, too.
You Know Your Church Is A Redneck Church if ... the final words of the
benediction are, "Y'all come back now!! Ya Hear"
Awesome, Snickle! I can never get enough of redneck jokes and this is the first one I seen about church. How un-PC, you bastage! 
This one is a classic, with me bein' from noodlin' country back in Iowa and all:
"You Know Your Church Is A Redneck Church if ... people ask, when they
learn that Jesus fed the 5000, whether the two fish were bass or
catfish, and what bait was used to catch 'em."
Boner
This one is a classic, with me bein' from noodlin' country back in Iowa and all:"You Know Your Church Is A Redneck Church if ... people ask, when they
learn that Jesus fed the 5000, whether the two fish were bass or
catfish, and what bait was used to catch 'em."
Boner
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