OT: C'm on - laugh a little!
Three old ladies were sitting side by side on patio chairs at their
The first lady recalled from years past shopping at the local Piggly Wiggly and demonstrated with her hands, the length and thickness of a cucumber she could buy for a penny.
The second old lady nodded, adding that onions used to be much bigger and cheaper also, and demonstrated the size of two big onions she could buy for a penny a piece.
The third old lady remarked, 'I can't hear a word you're saying, but I sure remember the guy you're talking about.
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Morris, an 82 year-old man in
A few days later the doctor saw Morris walking down the street with a gorgeous young woman on his arm.
A couple of days later the doctor spoke to Morris and said, 'You're really doing great, aren't you?'
'Just doing what you said, Doc: 'Get a hot mamma' and 'be cheerful.'' Morris replied.
To which the doctor said, 'I didn't say that, Morris. I said, 'You've got a heart murmur, be careful!'
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A little old man shuffled slowly into the 'Orange Dipper', an ice cream parlor in Leesburg, and pulled himself slowly, painfully, up onto a stool.
After catching his breath he ordered a banana split.
The waitress asked kindly, 'Crushed nuts?'
'No,' he replied, 'hemorrhoids.'
ROLL TIDE!!!
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on 7/23/08 1:58 pm, edited 7/23/08 1:59 pm - Colorado Springs, CO
Ok heres one.....
A couple of blue hairs are getting together to go play bridge. Gladys goes to pick up Erma in her 76 Cadillac. The two are gabbing away as they travel to the game. Erma notices to herself that they have just run a red light. Nobody else saw, so she figures - no big deal. They keep gabbing away as the fly through another red light. Erma is getting a little concerned, but says nothing about it. Finally, they whiz through another red light. Erma can't take it anymore. She turns to Gladys and says, "What are you doing?! Do you realize you just went through your THIRD red light?!" Gladys turns to Erma in disbelief and says - "Oh - am I driving?"
Here's an excercise routine for people post WLS
Begin by standing on a comfortable surface,
where you have plenty of room at each side.
With a 5-lb potato sack in each hand,
extend your arms straight out from your sides
and hold them there as long as you can.
Try to reach a full minute, and then relax.
Each day you'll find that you can hold this position
for just a bit longer.
After a couple of weeks, move up to 10-lb potato sacks.
Then try 50-lb. potato sacks and then eventually
try to get to where you can lift a 100-lb potato sack
in each hand and hold your arms straight
for more than a full minute. (I'm at this level).
After you feel confident at that level,
put a potato in each of the sacks.
Dan
