What suprised you after surgery - the not so good

Hi Guys, Shrink says I need to get more info on what to expect after surgery. Not the good happy stuff like feeling great but the not so good. She wants me to be prepared. So what did you find post surgery that was hard to get used to or that you did not know about?  I am looking for the short term changes and the long term changes. I know the vitamins and possible other supliments for life. I know the higher proabablity for constipation.  What are the things you 'live with' now that you deal with because the effects of weighing so much less far out weigh the down side. I am probably going to go with the RNY surgery. Marc

I think for the first 2 years, it was awkward eating with other people who didn't know I had it.  I'd eat small portions and they'd wonder how such a big man could eat so little.  Waitresses would always make a big deal out of it making sure the food was good and that I was ok. The trial and error of foods that shouldn't make you dump because they're good for you, but still do was annoying. Having people constantly watch you (even as I'm 3 years out) waiting for you to fail. Other than that, I've no problems (besides slight weight regain) it was amazing for me and is allowign me to live a full and happy life!

I don't know if I can be of much help (mine went very well).  But some of the things I wasn't "crazy" about mainly occured in the hospital.  The catheter was "not fun".  That tube kept hanging on things getting in and out of the bed.  The worst probably had to be when they took the drain out of you.  I have never had one, so I didn't know what to expect.  The nurse told me to take a deep breath, then "zoom" she pulled it out  quickly.  I about screamed, but then the pain was over just as fast as it began.  Another "fun" thing was the staples.  I felt I'd set off every metal detector in a half-mile, and every once in a while they'd catch on your clothes.  The last would have to be the week on clear liquids, It just got boring especially when everybody else is eating normally.  The best part is, these minor "bumps" are only temporary.  It's well worth the little bit of discomfort when you see the outcome!  I don't regret it one single bit!

for me the worst is not being able to "enjoy" the food.  I got fat because I love to eat, it wasn't emotional, not so much addiction, I just love to eat.  I would sit down and really enjoy eating a rack of baby backs, or a good steak, and my portions were extra large.  I could sit down and eat an extra large pizza and follow it up with a big bowl of ice cream.  I miss that but the trade off is mostly worth it because there were so many things I enjoy doing that I had Ate my self out of being able to do. 

To be honest, constipation hasn't been a real serious problem for me.   The runs, however, have been a steady (but not daily) companion. I find that my biggest problems are more logistical / social than anything.  Things like going out to eat with folks.  While I don't let them influence what / how much I eat, it's hard to eat slowly like I'm supposed to.  Everyone's mostly finished with thier meal, and I'm two bites into the half of a meal I have sititng in front of me.   Other than that - it's all a matter of getting used to making smaller portions, buying smaller things .. it's kind of silly to buy anything in bulk anymore. (My wife and I have both had RNY done) Oh - and that one more thing. That dreaded question .. "How much have you lost?"  or "How much do you want to lose?" I guess that's mainly something of a personal pet peeve.  I didn't go into this with a number goal as far as weight loss goes.  I was starting out at 677 lbs - probably about 430 or so lbs higher than I should be, at minimum.  I figured if I got to 300 lbs, I was going to be happy. I'm down to 275 roughly now. That's awesome.  I'm still, very slowly, losing.  I'm going to start exercising hopefully after tomorrow (waiting for the doc to release me after hernia repair on May 2nd), and I"m sure more will come off. But - I still don't worry so much about a goal weight.  I figure, I might see 230-240.  If I do, I'll be absolutely ecstatic.  As it is, I'm already exceedingly happy with my progress.   And to have someone try to put a number on it (How much have you lost?") or make me feel like I'm not doing good enough or lost enough("How much further to goal?") REALLY bothers me. I'm doing this to get healthy, to be happy, and to live a long, full life for my wife and children.   THAT is my goal.   Other than that - the positives so far outweigh any negatives (in MY experience - your mileage may vary) that I'd do it all over again in a heartbeat.

Marc, I found that I, along with a lot of other WLS patients, go through a period of the "what the hell have I done to myself?'s" post surgery.  They usually show up in the first couple of weeks when you are hurting and feeling like refried doggy doo but lessen with time and the downward march of the scales. It is a ride better than any you ever find at any amusement park!  Post-ops can tell you all about the highs and lows but until you get on and "ride" it yourself you can't completely understand what we are saying.  Not trying to dissuade you from surgery - not at all but recognize that like any surgery WLS has risk and rewards.       

The worst part for me has been not drinking with my meals.  This is especially hard because I like spicy foods. The other hard parts have been that your cravings for foods don't seem to go away, you still have to work through that. Social eating situations are hard.  We are a society that celebrates with food.   There are times that I would kill for a Pepsi, you know when it is so cold that the act of opening it causes it to slightly fleeze.  I miss that too. But I have to say all of those food things do not compare to what I am able to do now, how I feel, and the positive effects it has had on my life so far. Scott

The mental side can play with your head more than the physical side.  I would have women "check me out".  They would never have done that at 300#.  You get more respect at a more normal weight.  At 300# women would give you extra room while walking by you (almost like your a pervert).  They would feel "this guy really has issues...poor thing".  When you have lost the weight you gain confidence.  You do more eye contact.  You stand straighter.  This in turn will have people "include you" into general society more.  Your thinking "I'm the same person!!  Why am I treated different now!!"  It is just that way out there and you need to be ready for it.  If your marrage had problems before...they will be there afterwards.  Jealousy can raise it's head for both men and women who have WLS.  The mate will feel the WLS patient will leave after finding this new freedom and life.  There can be a subsitution addiction issue...where you trade one addiction (eating) for another (drugs alcohol, sex).  We used food as a comfort.  Where do we get it now??  Support is very important.  This site is the main support for a ton of guys.  I would recommend you go to local support groups for the first 6 months to a year before you cut the cords.  You may want to go to them the rest of your life...almost like AA or NA.  Hope these help.  Brian   

The being "checked out" issue really holds true. I'm just starting (after nearly 12 years of marriage) to come to the realization that I'm going to be monogamous the rest of my life, in spite of endless "opportunities" that exist. It will depend on how strong your impulse to "chase" is. Some guys (like me) whenever there are chicks around, either instinctively or through conditioning, are like Jack Russell terrier around small animals - ears perk up and you're ready to go tossle. If you're that type, you may have to fine tune your philosphy of life and relationships and decide what is really important to you.

It has been hard for me to stop eating before I am full.  I have a tendency to take one bit too many.  The result is being too ful for 10 or 15 minutes.  Not bloated, just too full.  I have never been sick, but I agree that eating isn't fun like it used to be.  That's such a small price to pay for how much better I feel about myself, how mobile I am and all the things I can do with family and friends now! It is a little annoying to deal over and over with people treating you differently.  I get more attention, second looks and am included in more things now than I ever was before.  My wife told me I used to be easy to spot in a crowd...I was the biggest guy in the room.  Now she has trouble spotting  me.  That messes with me a little.  I know in support group that is a topic often -- the anger some feel about realizing how discriminated against fat people are in our society.  For me, the more I lose the more I feel genuine empathy for morbidly obese people.  It is hard for me not to go around recommending surgery for people who don't even ask me about it! My open RNY surgery saved my life. CB