I saw myself w/o WLS today.

There's a spot out in the middle of the desert about 100 miles from where I live where a huge artesian spring flows up out of nowhere. It provides about a million gallons of fresh water per hour 24/7/365. It was an oasis for Indians for ions of time. It's been a mostly Mexican farming community since the indians all got ran out and driven off to Oklahoma 130 years ago. Back in the 30's the WPA built a huge swimming pool there and the state of TX has built a state park around and including the swimming pool. It's a pretty cool place. If you're ever flying down I-10 (the speed limit is 80) between El Paso and San Antonio, take some time to stop in at Balmorhea state park and getcha some of that cool spring water on your back. Anyway, to the point of my post, I took my family there for a day of picnicing and swimming today. I saw lots and lots of overweight people in swimming suits. It wasn't pretty. But one ol' boy really caught my attention. He was about 6'2", looked to weigh about 500 lbs and was probably 52 - 55 years old. My first thought was, "That poor son of a ***** will be dead within the next 2 years." My second thought was, "That's exactly what you'd look like in a couple of years w/o your RNY." It gave me a brief moment of acute clarity that I'd made the right decision. I'm making plans to live another 25 - 30 years. I haven't seen any of us discuss it on here, but there's an ailment called "venus stasis dermititas" where the skin on your lower legs starts getting all unhealthy due to poor circulation in the lower extremities. The micro-valves in your legs just eventually get overwhelmed and discontinue working and so fluids pool in your lower legs and don't readily return to your liver and kidneys for filtering. It's mostly a side effect of HBP but obesity doesn't help any. I was starting to get a pretty good dose of it by the time I decided to seek surgery, and even though I'm walking  75 miles per month, I'm still seeing small patches of bad looking skin on my ankles and calves. Evidently, even with the increased circulation from exercise, I'm still having some problems in this area. But this poor ol' dude had it bad. There was hardly any skin below his knees that wasn't discolored, disfigured, and in places there were even open, oozing cracks and sores. If the circulation in his legs is that poor, I wonder what it looks like around his heart and lungs. I wanted to go over and evangelize his ass to getting signed up for some type of WLS right away. But I'm not brave enough.  

I'm down 95 pounds since Feb. 9.  My cousin, who is a year older than me, was a stud athlete in high school. the jock that all the gals wanted to be with. Now he is about 385 and gaining by the week. He's now diabetic, has high BP, sleep apnea, can hardly walk the 30 yards to his mailbox, and has been advised by his doctor he should have WLS.  I look at him and see myself a few months ago.  His wife wants me to come by and "talk him into having the surgery".  Even though I hate to see him in that shape, I'm hesitant to try to persuade him to have the surgery. I told her I would be glad to talk to him about my experience so far, answer any questions I can, and give him support and encouragement if he decides to have the surgery - but that he needs to call me if he wants to talk about it. But, as far as "talking him into it", I just don't feel that is something I can or should do. To me, he has to make that very personal decision on his own without anyone pushing him. I really hope he does decide to have the surgery, but I don't feel it is my place to push him. 

Bama, I'm with you on it is personal decision that we can't push on anyone.  In other words "You can lead a horse to water but you can't make him drink."  I've compared WLS to the drug anabuse used to forcefully dry up an alcoholic.  The WLS makes us have to look at food and life differently and until somebody is receptive to the idea of surgery then you are ******g away time talking to them.

Bama,

I agree with your feelings also.  This is a very personal decision and no one can talk you into doing it.   I have spoken with several people about my experience and willingly share my experience.   I credit Al Roker with my having my surgery, it was him going public about having had WLS, that made me really think about having my RNY.  I am not sure how many years it took for me to decide to have my surgery.  Every person has to do this at their own pace and I am not sure it is right for everyone.  I just know that I have made the right choice for me.

I also see people who are over weight and all I can think about is that could have been me.  It makes me very thankful that I made the decision to take control of my weight and life. 

Jim 

JFish, "There, but for the grace of G-d, goeth I."  Despite the grammatical awkwardness, that's the old quote (I believe, originated from the early days of AA), and I can certainly identify with your experience.  The thing is, any picture of me at 55 might be in a box with my hands folded over my chest, with flowers and candles all 'round.  I'm very glad to know there's another way! Dan Edit to add: BamaBob, another AA quote...Attraction, not promotion.  All your good intentions are worthless if the guy's not ready to entertain 'going another way'.  Cold hard fact of life.  If you're a praying man, do that.  You can drop hints about how great you feel, how happy you are, how good your love life is, etc etc. but until he's ready, that's about ALL you can do. 

One crazy reason that I decided to have surgery - I could picture myself dead from being overweight, embarrassed that I needed a 5XL casket.

It was probably VSD, Fishdude (I had some of that as a pre-op, too) .. but sounds like he also may have had lymphedema, which is very common in people our pre-op BMI (60+) over 40 ..

  the VSD is mostly gone now, but the LE remains, causing my legs to remain "scrotum dark" (as i like to compare it) from the mid-shins down and, of course, the elephant swelling of the feet and ankles, which will never go away, although weight loss has improved it somewhat.   Hopefully the stem cell research they're doing on LE now will eventually provide a cure in our lifetime.  Experiments on animals with it have been very promising, with them developing new lymph ducts and angions.    Right now the LE is a major blow to my self-esteem, no matter how much weight I'll lose or PS I'll have ..   Imagine how feaked a gal would be when she sees it (unless you keep the lights off)   They already look strangely down at my feet when they see my "unconventional footwear" I have to wear ..   &:-(...

[Editted for readability now that I'm home: CRIPES, I always forget that when I post from my not-so-smartphone, its web browser seems to eliminate any extra blank lines I add.] > It's mostly a side effect > of HBP but obesity > doesn't help any. Stasis dermatitis is pretty rare in people who aren't morbidly obese.  All that weight and the resulting fluid retention really does a job on your veins, legs and ankles. I mainly had occasional (2 or 3 X/yr) flareups of rashes on my shins and chronically puffy ankles and feet, but luckily it hadn't yet progressed to outright skin damage.  One of the developments that motivated me to have WLS was being prescribed "support stockings" -- the same flesh-colored tourniquets that my 100-year-old grandmother used to wear! I'm amazed at the reduction in swelling in my ankles and feet.  Some of this is fat loss, but most of it has to be fluid loss.  So far, I've gone down a shoe size and from EEE to D shoe width.  Pretty amazing! /Steve

When I see posts like this, it makes me wonder how I ever kept from those things.. and it makes me pray and thank God I didn't have those leg problems.  I never realized I guess how lucky I was to be as healthy as I was... I took it for granted. At my highest, I was just starting to retain fluid, and never had that 'purple skinned calves' like other big guys I know.  The only thing I can think is what my wife says, that I walked so much for my part time job back then (delivered pizza's at night after my day job)... that perhaps all that walking kept the fluid moving.. it was only after my injury and subsequent bed time that I started having fluid retention problems. Now that I'm walking again, the fluid problems I did have are going away.. and my wife loves to comment to people about my 'skinny feet".. LOL. Dale

I'm another ot the men who has lymphedema.  I got mine as a side effect of a staph infection in my right ankle that I had in 1995.  Unfortunately, it is a permanent condition.  My right leg is much worse than my left one.  Most people think I'm in pain which I am not.  My biggest complaint is that my right thigh has a circumference of 42 inches.  There are treatments available that do have to be done for the rest of my life.  But I choose not to do them because they may reduce the size of my feet, but they force fluid up into my thighs.  Yeah, I know that when I use a lymphedema pump, it's supposed to force lymph fluid into my veins and then to the kidneys.  I've tried it and my thignt just seems to get bigger.   As for the question of whether to approach someone and talk about WLS, I only do that when I can be with them one on one without friends or family nearby.  You never know if the person you approach has tried to get WLS and been denied or doesn't have it covered by their insurance.  It's hard to attract by example if the person you want to tell about the WLS has no idea you ever had it.