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A less than supportive spouse

SonnySmith
on 6/27/08 4:50 am
My wife doesn't seem to understand my desire to have this done.  She has seen me lose weight before through diet and exercise and questions why I "just" don't do what I dd before all over again.  Has anyone else had to deal with a less than supportive spouse when it came to getting WLS?   Sonny

You will be assimilated, resistance is futile.
wlscand09
on 6/27/08 5:05 am - Tickfaw, LA
Yes. My girlfriend kept wanting me to just diet and exercise and try to lose it all that way and I was like shut up, that doesn't work for everybody haha. You just gotta tell her like it is.
mystmanpdx
on 6/27/08 5:07 am - Everett, WA
No offense to your wifey... but sometimes its not about them or what they think/feel.  If you see the surgery as your only option, they will just have to accept it.  It's a life changing process and they should understand that.  If she's dead-set against it, it says something about the 'marriage' in the first place. 
(deactivated member)
on 6/27/08 5:40 am
Charlie B.
on 6/27/08 6:00 am - Noblesville, IN
I'll bet she didn't understand your desire to have that motorcycle, either, but you got it anyway Wait until she sees the results! CB

 

 
Doug Such
on 6/27/08 6:05 am - Northern, CA
Hi Sonny, Paul's on the money, I think. I know from experience how difficult it can be to watch people go through surgery or other things. My wife is very supportive, but even so she was afraid that I would not survive the surgery. (So was I.) She was also worried that my obesity might kill me. We talked about this stuff a lot and I did make one last try without surgery. But my entire history had been lose some weight and then regain it plus some. Go to the gym hard and then slowly stop. We both knew that such a history made it highly unlikely--probably impossible--for a significant, longterm non-surgical solution. So maybe some of your wife's reactions are confused even to her. You're about to take a huge, life-altering step. Such changes are unsettling. As other guys can tell you, there is more to wls than wls. Good luck to you both.

Doug

If we're treading on thin ice we might as well dance.--Jesse Winchester

DanS
on 6/27/08 7:16 am - Columbus, OH
Your wife is afraid.  What she is saying SEEMS to make sense, but it doesn't stack up with the statistics.  Fewer than 5% of the people who lose 50 pounds or more regain it and more within 3 years.  3 years ago I had open heart surgery (triple bypass).  It's far more dangerous than WLS.  Odds are, if I would have had WLS, I wouldn't have needed the bypass.  Good luck, my friend.
BamaBob54
on 6/27/08 9:24 am - Meridianville, AL

Ditto what Paul, Doug & Dan said. My wife was scared for me, but we discussed it and she could see that I was miserable being obese. Also, my cardiologist is the one who suggested I consider WLS. He said that even though my heart was currently in good shape (I had a stent ands pacemaker after having 5 heart attacks in 2002), the extra weight I was carrying was definitely going to impact my heart health in the near future.  Now that I am 88 lbs. lighter and feeling better, both physically and mentally, she understands that I did what I had to do. And she is happy I did.

Bottom line, YOU have to decide what is best for YOU. Hopefully she will respect and support your decision.

BamaBob54    756997.jpg picture by BamaVulcan04   ROLL TIDE!!!
[IMG]http://i37.photobucket.com/albums/e82/BamaVulcan04/2661045004_3d63fb2244.jpg[/IMG]
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Robert S.
on 6/27/08 11:50 am - Modesto, CA
My wife was the same way. She said I was taking the easy way out. Well after I educated her and made her go to the seminar guess what? She ened up having RNY herself


(deactivated member)
on 6/27/08 12:30 pm - uranus, CA
RNY on 09/19/06 with
Sack up, bro... and do what you think is best 
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