One Year Mark

Hey everyone, Well ironically this is a bit late but I've just started working 3rd shift so I am all torn up time wise right now but I wanted to reflect on the last year. I had my RNY on 5/15/2007 and my starting weight was 365. As of 5/15/2008 I weigh 205 pds. A total lose of 160 pds. I am impressed with my results. I wish I could get below 200 at this point but hey step by step right. Over the past year, I had minor complications such as heart palpitations 2 of which sent me via ambulance to the ER. The ruling after man CT's and EKG's and even an ECHO was panic attacks due to rapid weight loss (this was 2 weeks after surgery and I lost close to 50 pds) and I've since had some bad gas but no major medical issues although I am slightly anemic now but that was to be expected. I have traveled to Antarctica for 5 months under Raytheon contract and than I went dog sledding with Outward Bound wilderness and I am currently in the application process with the Charlotte Mecklenburg Police dept to become a police officer. All of these things I attribute to surgery. If I was still 365 there is no way I would have cleared to go to the South Pole, or dog sledding and there is no way I could pass the Police Academy. Overall it has been interesting and difficult both physically at times and than mentally as I still struggle to NOT see the fat man in the mirror which I still do. Anyone have any advice to fix the mirror image? I stand on the scale and see the numbers and then I hear peoples reactions including my doctors but it still doesn't sink it. Any advice???

Smiller, you have done exceptionally well in one year.  You should be very proud of all your accomplishments.  You are truly living life now to its fullest.  I don't have any advice on how to deal with still seeing the fat man in the mirror.  I struggle with that also and I expect most of us do and will to some extent for the rest of our lives.  The best thing I can tell you is that when you are looking in that mirror just remember that it is you who are out there enjoy your life and not the guy who use to weigh 160 lbs more.  Good Luck and congratulations on one fine year of accomplishments!

Life is good Smiller and you're doing great. Keep it up and best of luck in attaining all your personal and professional goals! Boner

Great job !! I've been stuck at 202 for nearly two months, I'm out 13 months post surgery. I believe my body has said enough. Good Luck Randy

Great job!  My advice...learn to take in feedback from other people about how you look.  If you can really accept it, it will balance the misperception/distorted body image you see in the mirror. I hope I have such a good report at one year out! CB

Sorry no real answer on the mirror question.  Some people say pictures with others around us help (the camera doesn't lie...we see what they see).  I did have some questions about Antarctica.  This was a period of your rapid weightloss.  If I recall, everyone was wondering how you would handle that issue (esp being in such an envirorment where you are sweating because of the clothing).  Were there times you would try and grab for the energy and it just wasn't there?  And did you have enough protein for your needs?  Many of us wondered what happened down there.  Thanks, Brian   PS Remember in Antartica there was no shopping or many mirrors to reflect on.  There was no baseline to really work from...It was more of a daily survival.  You come back and BAMB...both culture shock and the weight drop.  I could see why it would mess with your head.

Hey, As far as Antarctica goes, well yea there were a few times my body was just like ENOUGH but I wouldn't honestly say it was due to a lack of protein. The food there was exceptional honestly. The chefs were some of the best.  For example, on Thanksgiving they cooked Alaskan crab and turkey and a bunch of sides and since everything was served buffet you just got what you wanted. The body does adjust well I believe. I did have an issue when I got the "Antarctic Crud" which here would be a flu but there the flu is like 100% worse. I was knocked on my butt for 6 days. The reason I believe it that my body was go go go go go and couldn't keep up. Working 12 hr days in the elements will wear it out. However, I do believe that anyone who has had bypass can work in any elements its just staying on top of your game with the diet that will make all the difference.

Great to see you drop back by!  Awesome progress! There was a post about just this issue last week- ------------------------------------------------------

 

Many of us hang on to the-
"I still feel like a Fat Man" thing…
or-
"When I look in the Mirror, it’s still the same Ole Me."

Body Image is a real issue.
At 5 years out next month,
I’ve gotten used to seeing the new me in the mirror,
But still have a difficult time finding myself in a group photo.
"Hey? I was there that day too…..Oh, That’s me?"

It is less of a problem,
but still a little odd glitch in self-perception.

Back when some of us met up in Lexington a few years back
I took advantage of asking a couple of the Psychologist/experts there
"What’s the Deal?" about this flawed self perception.
And, what could be done to improve it…
Thought I’d share some of that here--------------------------------------
------------------------------------------------------------------------

There is a ‘slang term’ among psychologists for the skewed development of self-image.
The "Swiss Cheese Phenomenon."
The basic idea of the Swiss Cheese Phenomenon
is that positive feedback from others falls through the "holes"
in one's body image, like the holes in Swiss cheese.
However, negative feedback, no matter how much rarer, manages to stick.
That's why it is difficult to develop a different attitude towards your body.
(Stupid slang term, but it works for them, and I like cheese!)

This is how even after a string of compliments-
"Dam, you’re looking good!"
We still SEE the ‘Old Us.’

How to change your body image?
7 Tips (somehow it's always 7)

Here are some of the suggestions from about 3 different Psyche docs.
(Some through discussions, others from publications)
The First 2 suggestions are immediately helpful
and you can see results immediately!

1.) Take photos of your progress, Particularly photos with other people in them.
When you are faced with a side-by-side comparison in a photo
of yourself with another person who you don’t have a ‘skewed’ perception of,
Your "filter" of looking just at your ‘old-self’ is by passed with objective fact.
It’s easy to let the real progress you’ve made "slip through the holes,"
But linked to your objective view of another? Not as easy.
You will be aware of the actual progress you’ve made.

2.) Pull out older photos and compare the actual "old You" with newer photos.
Same Objective comparison bypasses your ‘self-image issues’ with objective fact.

3.) When in those situations where people notice your weight-loss,
keep track of the actual feedback you are receiving.
Chances are if you count them up, the overwhelming majority of people
(if not ALL) will offer positive comments, and no negative comments.
You may be thinking- "Yah, I used to be fat, now my sagging ass looks like a melted candle,"
But notice that No-One else is noticing that at all.
(so who then is generating a continued ‘negative body image?’

4.) Notice if you tend to accept or resist compliments.
Just knowing when you are skewing the feedback, and when you are accepting
the actual observations of others, can help you Stop filtering reality.

5.) Buy some new dam Clothes!
Dozens of guys here have posted photos of themselves in the past, often with the comment-
"My wife says I need a size smaller shirt."
Well, looking at a lot of the photos? The wives were right.
Many ‘Ex-Obese’ men, dress for the same Old Level of Loose to hide the flab.
The result is a lot of photos of us looking like 8^th graders borrowing dad’s clothes
to go on a first date.
Go spend some bucks and get some higher-end clothes that really Fit.
If you are hiding some loose skin, then get some under-armor or wear a tighter Tee-shirt.
(now that you can wear more and not sweat your azz off!)
Dress in clothing that makes you feel good about yourself.
You can even wear a tie now without feeling like it’s strangling you to death.
(that’s New, Yah?)

6.) Make a list of the things that are great about you. What are your strengths?
Are you Clever? Funny? Honest? Sincere?
What are you "Good At?" What are your assets? …things that ARE Going well for you.
Things you are grateful for? Previous successes? …things you have overcome?
If you are at all honest, fairly quickly you can stack up enough positive attributes
to make yourself Envy-Yourself. This is a way to find the Positives that are not
Directly linked to Size or Looks.
(BTW, it is these attributes that comprise the Majority of actual Self-Image,
Body-Image makes up only a part of your over-all Ego-Id-Super-Ego Psyche Self-Profile.)

7.) Last- (and this from all of the Psychologists) Spend time with people
Who make you feel good about, and accept you as you are.
This is key. "The Way You Make me Feel" is what keeps marriages going,
And similarly what sparks many an affair- "I like who I am when I’m with you."
Not just in romantic exchanges, but on any social level.
Hang with people who like you, rather than those you are working to Make like you.

Although Body-Image is only part of Self-Image,
It is the One aspect that experiences the stress of Extreme Change resulting from WLS.

It is often said-
"The do the surgery on our guts, not our heads…"
Yep.
But the “Head Work” We can do for ourselves. Get all those Bad guys in North Carolina! Keep it Up! Best Wishes- Dx