follow up to Atty Dallas

Ok Guys... here is the follow up to AttyDallas post... I have been thinking about this question for some time...now this may seem like a question from the chick board...but it is real... How do you get past the negative image bull **** I am in the best shape of my life, and I do not feel...satisfied...I guess that is the right word... I mean it goes deeper than always wanting to improve... How do you give yourself credit for how far your have come....? Look....Just about anybody here on the mens board...i could tell them how great they have done... Blob Dave Dxe Boner all of them...they are all doing things that I will never be able to do... and it's just goofed up, that I think it's wrong to talk nice about me.... Don't get me wrong...i'm coping...but short of looking in a mirror every morning ans telling myself I'm great... is there anything???

lots and lots of sex?  Scott

Thanks for thowing me in with the success group, Russ but all I know is there is a big FAT man inside of me just waiting to escape. Any feelings of "success" to me are extremely tenuous as I still deal with the same old eating issues I had in the past. I just exercise more now and kick myself in the ass when I slip up and pig out.  By the way, you have done EXTREMELY well with your WLS jouney, top 5% I would imagine. So feel great about that. Boner

Russ, I may be wrong, but I think that everyone in the world has problems with negative image. Those of us who are (or were) MO tend to think in terms of weight, because that is our own particular issue, but I believe that everyone (or damn near everyone) has issues. Or maybe I have just convinced myself of that to make me feel better. Not that I am able to fully practice this, but I believe that one way to find acceptance is to recognize that someone loves us very much for who we are. For me, this is my Heavenly Father, who loves me deeply and unconditionally. When I get down on myself, I make an effort to remind myself who I am in relationship to Him. Joe

I hear you.  I'm still working on getting to the body Image I want.  I can't even except compliments very well, because I know there is still a fat guy in me.  I'm worried that if I except the compliments, I will let my guard down and the next thing you know, I'll be fat again. Scott

Scott,  I could have written your post, and probably would've had I gotten here earlier. I seem compelled to modify every compliment into a "yeah but....". I'm very worried about what's gonna happen if I ever take my finger out of the dyke.........so to speak.

Wait a minute. That might ought to be dike. Instead of dyke. One's a masculine chick and one's a mound of dirt. I can't remember which is which.

I'm not sure either, JFish   

I'm glad someone brought this up.  Even after a 75 pound loss I still "feel" (mentally) fat as ever.  I occasionally teach a class to new employees at work and have historically threw in the occasional fat joke (picking on myself) to break the ice and make everyone feel comfortable.  Well, just the other day I was teaching again and as I was making the fat jokes, I got more strange looks than laughs.  After class one of my co-workers told me that the fat jokes don't really "work" anymore because I don't look the part anymore.  It hadn't even crossed my mind till that point.  The people in class, many of whom I haven't met before, didn't see me as a fat man, even though I still did.  As far as getting rid of the negative image, I don't know.  I just hope that eventually (I'm still sort of new) I can get past it. 

I think in many cases our obesity was a symptom of a deeper problem. WLS treats the symptom but not the disease. Many of us face  this when we become thin only to realize that the old issues manifest themselves once again. What to do, what to do? Well like Russ said, "We cope". Those fortunate among us learn to cope in positive ways; exercise, lifting, biking, running, etc. Those unfortunate among us try to cope by making decisions based on instant gratification like drinking, gambling, and over-eating. This is the reason why this forum is so valuable to me. This is the only place where I can "talk" as I do not attend any sort of support group. All of us are vunerable in ways only fat people can understand. We simply must help each other out. We must share our ups and our downs with no cheap shots fired in either direction. This place is too important to let that happen. Don't get me wrong, I don't want it all serious, on the contrary, I live to read the bull**** that shows up here from time to time  . I think we have a near perfect mix right now. Gentlemen