Ever Feel Like A Failure At This WLS Thing - In the End?

like Dx said, it's time for a reset. i had to lose about 10 pounds and i had to go back to dieting just like before surgery. it sucks but they did warn us, it's just a tool. god i hate that saying but it's true!

a couple observations. first, my bro is a deputy district atty. if you're anything like him, you really hardly have time to work out after your day is done. so don't beat yourself up over that. being a professional takes time. your practice doesn't stop at 5pm.

secondly and i'm not making this about me but my g/f always reminds me that i'm in a unique postition. i HAVE the time to workout and run. a lot of you don't. if you want to be GQ then you're going to have to work pretty hard at it. just like the other guys say. don't let that get you down though. most guys in here look pretty damn good just being thinner and so do you. don't forget that. a 200 pound loss is a major milestone. so find an exercise you can do easily. like walking before bed or something. anything. maybe get a treadmill and do a few miles while watching the tube at night. you would be surprised how fit you can get doing just that. just remember, the more muscle you have the more you'll burn calories just sitting!

as for the g/f thing, well, i sure hope you find someone like i did. yeah, i was studly and all when we met, then went to hell, then had the surgery and got back in the game. however, she stuck with me and saw past the fat guy. my hope is that you can find someone who looks past the outer you. they're out there but yeah, hard to find. i don't know how to date or tell you where to go. my hope, like i said, is that you find the right one someday. they say there's a special someone for each of us. finding that right partner will change your whole life around and make this journey worth it. good luck and hang tough. i know you get kicked around here now and then but in the end, we're behind ya. keep posting and do the first step, look for something to do exercise wise then do all the other crap mentioned by the guys......carbonblob

I certainly wouldn't consider a 200lb loss anywhere near a failure!  I'm also new to this, but even at this early date, if I don't lose another pound, I'm glad I went through with it.  I am NON-diabetic, NON-hypertensive, and have lots more energy than before.  I'm pretty sure I won't look "GQ" either in the end, but at least there will be an "end".  My life, thus far, has been a constant "If I could lose the weight, I do (fill in the blank)". 

Hello Brother.... There are different levels of success...so everyone is different... but on the GQ boys...I know what you mean....I see blob and Dave and Boner, and just feel...less than... but the one thing that I did discover when working out....there is no such thing as natural beauty... If these guys look like they could be on a Mag cover...they have worked their ass off to look that way... It seems like what you are doing it not working...so it may be time for a change chat back Russ

These guys have given absolutely great answers and ideas to get you back on stride.  Now, I don't want to seem like a wise azz, but, c'mon man  . . . you've lost 200 lbs. - and you're wondering why you did this? Maybe the thing you  really need is to get off your pity trip, grab your bootstraps, and get your azz back on the program that got the 200 off in the first place!!  You have accomplished a lot more than most folks can even dream of as far as weight loss, and should be proud of that. But you also owe it to yourself to get back on track and go after your goals - whatever they are.  No body said this, or anything in life, would be easy. But you 've already proven you can do it with the 200 lbs. you lost, so now reset your mind  and get back to it!!  You can do it!

Paul,

The goals you set and achieve have to be yours. You can’t live life for others. Celibrate your successes and learn from your setbacks but keep moving forward. You lost 200lbs but what have you done to change your lifestyle? Once you get the weight off it’s time to jumpstart your life by getting up off your ass and enjoying it. If you want to maintain your weight loss long term, you have to get rid of all the old bad habits that made you 400+ pounds to start with.  The motivation of others thing can be a double edge sword. It can be a lot to live up to if others hold your accomplishments in such high regards. I hope I have been able to help others as Dx and some of the real old timers around the LR have done for me but all you can do is what works for you and let the rest take care of itself. Because I am so visible in my area with Duke running WLS success ads of me in all the papers and local magazines plus with my co-workers I do feel like I have a heavy burden to bear to set a good example. This does help inspire me to try harder.  As an attorney, I am sure you’re very busy but you have to set aside time everyday for exercise, many folks do it first thing in the morning before life gets into the way. I am the manager of a large software test group in the and in so my days are insane sometimes, but exercise has become my stress reliever and almost a safe haven instead of food or booze. For me to be successful long term I needed to recognize why I over ate. It was when I was bored or sitting around on my but****ching TV. Therefore, as I started to lose weight I hit the gym 5 days a week and I walked 1000 miles in the first year on the way down. I have continued to advance as I have regained my physical conditioning by now playing volleyball, softball, pool, whitewater rafting, hiking, and mountain climbing. I don’t go to the gym any more because it bores me but I am using my renewed health to get back to my old life before I weighed 460lbs. I have something going everyday so I am very limited in the time I watch TV or sit around on my ass stuffing my face. It all else fails I just go outside and take a nice long walk, it’s free and makes me feel great. This new lifestyle has helped me maintain my weight with 10 pounds of my lowest weight of 219lbs. When I start to gain a few pounds I cut out the junk food and up my exercise and the pounds drop back off very quickly.  Once the honeymoon period of WLS is over the real work begins, but the war is in your brain. It took courage and determination for you to have WLS and lose those 200lbs and you have to continue to work the program and never lose site of YOUR goals. I joined Meetup.com and found folks with similar interest and now I climb mountains on the weekends with lots of new friends. There are also tons of nice women that are very much into exercise in their 40s that would love to meet a guy that is also working to improve his health. I have been married for 28 years but there are days when I have to beat them off with a stick. I’m sure it will work for you if you put forth the extra effort.  Good Luck,

Tim

First, losing 200+ pounds, taking control of your life isn't anything to be ashamed of.   That's an amazing accomplishment.  

How much are you exercising?  That's the key.  Don't make excuses and let your brain take over for not exercising.   It CAN and WILL give you plenty of reasons NOT to get out and walk, run, bike, lift weights or whatever exercises you feel comfortable doing.  As a lawyer I know you are a busy man and probably have very limited time to exercise but you MUST make the time.   It's essential man.    You CAN find the time if you want to.   

I'm praying for you dude.

1) Don't trivialize your accomplishments or diminish them with unreasonable notions of success. As the Sages say, the journey is the destination. You are a healthier man today than you were 200 lbs ago, and we don't want to judge ourselves by our looks the way that people judged us for so long. We know how shallow and cold that is. And we know that a garden with just one kind of flower would be pretty boring. Thank God we come in all shapes and sizes. 2) Only guys as crazy as we are could think that a 200lb weight loss isn't a great motivator. 3) Who would listen to a fat man? Fans of Winston Churchill, Orson Welles, and we who know that only those who've been there know what we go through. I never could--and still can't--abide by nutrition advice from skinnies and food Nazis. 4) You may have "needed" a rest and recovery period. If so, maybe your frustration is telling you now is the time to tweak your eating and exercise regimen. Good luck.

What could I say here to Atty Paul? I average two hours a day of exercise and about a month ago I started to gain weight? From what? A little too much mayo in my chicken salad. Weight loss is a very difficult thing to achieve. 200 lbs of weight loss is almost unheard of. So stop being hard on yourself!

I'll repeat it : 2 hours a day of exercise and my extra mayo was causing me to gain weight. That should put things into perspective.

Let's see the times I lost pre-op. I think I went to 800 calories a day - the bare minimum to sort of (maybe) be able to avoid sudden death from electrolyte depletion. And I combined that with 3 hours a day of exercise.

Perhaps nothing that extreme, but given that your WLS will probably at least slow your rebound, why not up the exercise at least?

Hope this helps,

Dave