I WAS SO FAT...........
i was so fat.......
.....a friend loned me a malcom X t-shirt and a helicopter tried to land on me.
......i stepped out into traffic one day and a car had to swerve around me and ran out of gas.
......i was going to take up the violin but didn't know which chin to put it under.
.......when i went to a restaurant instead of a menu i would get an estimate.
.......when they asked what i wanted on my hamburger i would say, a hot dog.
.........when i would lay out on the beach concerned citizens would throw me back in the water.
..........my cereal bowl came with its own lifeguard.
........when i stood next to my girlfriend we looked like the number 10.
now i'm so skinny i could walk through a harp. life is good......carbonblob
.....a friend loned me a malcom X t-shirt and a helicopter tried to land on me.
......i stepped out into traffic one day and a car had to swerve around me and ran out of gas.
......i was going to take up the violin but didn't know which chin to put it under.
.......when i went to a restaurant instead of a menu i would get an estimate.
.......when they asked what i wanted on my hamburger i would say, a hot dog.
.........when i would lay out on the beach concerned citizens would throw me back in the water.
..........my cereal bowl came with its own lifeguard.
........when i stood next to my girlfriend we looked like the number 10.
now i'm so skinny i could walk through a harp. life is good......carbonblob
Hey CB, thanks for the laughs........those are terrific! Let me tell you a true story. I broke my left arm in the 9th grade. When I walked into the doctor's office to have it set, he said an I quote, "I have never worked on a bowling ball before." I still resemble a bowling ball but at least I weigh less than I have in years and I am healthier than I have been in a long long time. You are right........life is good!
Lee
I was so fat.... that I had more "chins" than a Chinese phone book !!
(deactivated member)
on 5/11/08 3:08 am - Houston, TX
on 5/11/08 3:08 am - Houston, TX
I wanna play...
I was so fat...when I had on my blue suit, and was standing on the corner..somebody came by and stuffed a letter in my mouth
hey, those were really good guys!
yeah, can you imagine the crap i would get for posting this on the main board? oh, i hear ya baja. so keep them coming. once i got unfat i never use those jokes anymore so i forgot a lot of good ones.
capt. that's really cruel what your doc said. i've had people call me names all my life too. i went up and down in weight my whole life and it was pretty hard when i was a fat kid. life really sucked being fat at that age. nobody seems to think we have feelings. at least when i got older people held their punches but they just laughed behind my back. which is worse? oh well. a little levity. i used to tell these jokes about my weight. not anymore....carbonblob
yeah, can you imagine the crap i would get for posting this on the main board? oh, i hear ya baja. so keep them coming. once i got unfat i never use those jokes anymore so i forgot a lot of good ones.
capt. that's really cruel what your doc said. i've had people call me names all my life too. i went up and down in weight my whole life and it was pretty hard when i was a fat kid. life really sucked being fat at that age. nobody seems to think we have feelings. at least when i got older people held their punches but they just laughed behind my back. which is worse? oh well. a little levity. i used to tell these jokes about my weight. not anymore....carbonblob
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