"Gas Story" - Ah, How Sweet! (Humor)
From an email maknig the rounds of late:
* * * * * *
One day I met a sweet gentl eman and fell in love.
When it becam e appar ent that we would marry , I made the supre me
sacri fice and gave up beans .
Some month s later , on my birth day, my car broke down on the way home
from work.
Since I lived in the count rysid e I calle d my husba nd and told him that I
would be late becau se I had to walk home.
On my way, I passe d by a small diner and the odor of baked beans was
more than I could stand .
With miles to walk, I figur ed that I would walk off any ill effec ts by
the time I reach ed home, so I s toppe d at the diner and befor e I knew
it, I had consu med t hree large order s of baked beans .
All the way home, I made sure that I relea sed all the gas.
Upon my arriv al, my husba nd seeme d excit ed to see me and excla imed
delig htedl y: ' Darli ng I have a surpr ise for dinne r tonig ht.
He then blind folde d me and led me to my chair at the dinne r table .
I took a seat and just as he was about to remov e my blind fold, the
telep hone rang.
He made me promi se not to touch the blind fold until he retur ned and went
to answe r the call.
The baked beans I had consu med were still affec ting me and the press ure
was becom ing most unbea rable , so while my husba nd was out of the room I
seize d the oppor tunit y, shift ed my weigh t to one leg and let one go.
It was not only loud, but it smell ed like a ferti lizer truck runni ng
over a skunk in front of a pulpw ood mill.
I took my napki n from my lap and fanne d the air aroun d me vigor ously .
Then, shift ing to the other cheek , I rippe d off three more.
The stink was worse than cooke d cabba ge.
Keepi ng my ears caref ully tuned to the conve rsati on in the other room, I
went on like this for anoth er few minut es.
The pleas ure was indes criba ble.
When event ually the telep hone farew ells signa led the end of my freed om,
I quick ly fanne d the air a few more times with my napki n, place d it on
my lap and folde d my hands back on it feeli ng very relie ved and pleas ed
with mysel f.
My face must have been the pictu re of innoc ence when my husba nd
retur ned, apolo gizin g for takin g so long.
He asked me if I had peeke d throu gh the blind fold, and I assur ed him I
had not.
At this point , he remov ed the blind fold, and twelv e dinne r guest s seate d
aroun d the table choru sed: ' Happy Birth day! ' !!
When it becam
Some month
Since
On my way, I passe
With miles
All the way home,
Upon my arriv
He then blind
I took a seat and just as he was about
He made me promi
The baked
It was not only loud,
I took my napki
Then,
The stink was worse
Keepi
The pleas
When event
My face must have been the pictu
He asked
At this point
