OT: Why, Why, Why????

Why, Why, Why, Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are running down?   Why do banks charge a fee on "insufficient funds" when they know you don't have enough money anyway?   Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?  Why do they use sterilized needles for death by lethal injections?   Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?   Why does Superman stop bullets with his chest, but ducks when you throw the revolver at him? Why did Kamikaze pilots wear helmets? Whose idea was it to put an "S" in the word "lisp"?   If people evolved from apes, why are there still apes? Why is it that no matter what color bubble bath you use the bubbles are always white?   Is there ever a day that mattresses are not on sale?   Why do people constantly return to the refrigerator with hopes that something new to eat will have materialized?   Why do people keep running over a string a dozen times with their vacuum cleaner, then reach down, pick it up, examine it, then put it down to give the vacuum one more chance?   Why is it that no plastic bag will open from the end on your first try?   How do those dead bugs get into those enclosed light fixtures?   When we are in the supermarket and someone rams our ankle with a shopping cart then apologizes for doing so, why do we say, "It's all right?" Well, it isn't all right, so why don't we say, "That really hurt, why don't you watch where the hell you're going?"   Why is it that whenever you attempt to catch something that's falling off the table you always manage to knock something else over?   Why do we try to keep the house as warm in winter as it was in summer when we complained about the heat?   Why is it you never hear father-in-law jokes? The statistics on sanity is that one out of every four persons are suffering from some sort of mental illness. Think of your three best friends -- if they're all okay, then it's YOU!! ~~~

Good stuff Bama.  Gave me a chuckle or two my friend.  All right now, your new day is getting closer and closer brother.  Have you checked to make sure they got all of your "****" straight this time?  Take care and be good, Taz

You bet your booty I have, Taz! I even got copies of everything and am taking them with me this time. Ain't no way in hades I am gonna go through another pre-op liquid diet!! And glad ya got a chuckle out of my post - laughter is good for ya! How you doing, buddy? I sure hope everything's still going well for you. Take care! 

Bama, things are great for me.  I have lost 95 pounds so far (7 weeks post op now).  I rode my first set of rollercoasters this weekend (double loops and inverted twists) with my daughter for her birthday and that was awesome (first time in a good 15 years).  Life is great and I am having so many FART moments that I can't keep track of them all.  Your life is about to totally change like you can't believe.  In 7 weeks I have transformed both physically and mentally - it seems like it has literally been overnight.  Just remember, stick to your surgeons plan, sip, sip, sip, eat your protein religiously, and exercise your tail off.  I have been walking like crazy and losing weight fast. The funny thing is, I haven't even touched any weights yet and I can't begin to fathom how I am going to look once I get the lifting thing going in full swing - starting next week my brother I'm getting pumped up again and can't wait.  Be good Bama.      Taz