The women on the VSG forum are just killing me...

It's weird, I don't normally put myself in an environment with so much estrogen. It's a world where facts have no relevance as long as nobody gets their feelings hurt. And a hugely paranoid world.

Stuff I have actually seen said there in the past week, that either nobody corrected, or that other women jumped in on to help perpetuate.

In response to asking for pics of scars to see how they heal:
"Wouldn't descriptions do? I've heard that there are sickos out there, cloaked in anonymity, asking for photos of surgical scars (AND obese people) to get off on." This is an actual cut and paste, I **** you not.

Yeah, that makes sense, it's probably not a woman *****ally wants to know what her scars will look like post surgery, it's probably a guy who is smart enough to find obesityhealth.com, come up with a story to elicit stomach photos of obese women, but too dumb to find *****n the internet any easier way? Who is really this paranoid? Is it some secret desire to fool herself into thinking that someone, somewhere would actually like to see her stomach?

What drives you to take a simple question, then try to scare the others that are responding to the question by telling them that it's just another one of those internet sickos who can't find pics of naked fat chicks on the internet (yeah, those are sooooo hard to find) so he's trying to talk women into posting a picture or two of their stomach. Yep, two pics a year on obesityhelp.com, that's all that sicko needs.



Next up, a post warning people not to eat too much protein post op, ignore your foolish docs, what the hell do they know right? I can understand wanting a second opinion, but when EVERY doc out there says the same thing, what goes wrong in your head when you want so badly to find an excuse to cheat on your diet that you try to convince other people you are right and lead them down the wrong path as well?

I tried to help, pointing out that we are actually not being asked to eat large amounts of protein, close to 100grams at most, which is the same as in the average American diet, or the Ornish diet, not just "those Atkins people". Or the fact that studies show it's not eating protein that puts you at risk for kidney stones, it's being overweight.

Nothing, nobody wanted to hear it. But if I said "help me, I cheated, am I a bad person" 50 people would pipe in to tell me how wonderful I am and to just give myself a big hug and to remember that gosh darnit people like me.

More actual cut and pastes below, virtually all of it outright false. And remember, stay away from that whey protein your doc tells you to use, plants are our friends! Those docs don't know what they are talking about saying whey protein is any better than kidney beans, my Vegan friend told me so. Find, you don't want to do your research, be an idiot, risk your own health, but don't drag others down with you. Here goes:

I feel like I should post some warnings about too much protein in your diet. It really can lead to health problems. Moderation is key!

not only do you lose Calcium as you increase protein but it forms into painful Kidney Stones. Many people on the Atkins type diet suffer from this. In addition, there is Heart diesese (hardening of the arteries).

If you are going to eat more than your daily recommended dose (.36 x your ideal body weight), make sure half of it is plant based! Plant based proteins have the reverse affect of animal based proteins.

I received nutritional information from my surgeon's PC that advised against counting beans and other legumes as a valuable source of protein which I thought was very poor advice. Lentils, for example, are a great source of protein (better than sliced deli turkey) (Guess smart enough to operate on your but not to understand post op diet?)

A doctor is only as good as the school he went to and when he was taught.... (But he was good enough to operate on you? And all the docs just happen to be saying the same thing about protein? Weird, must be a coincidence....)

Great advice....since everyone struggles to get so much protein in...and some are really pushing thier limits..its good for them to hear that they shouldnt get quite so much, etc... (No, it's really not good for them to think they now have a good reason to ignore their doctors advice on post op diets and protein, this particular comment is actually coming from a nurse. Really, as a nurse you think it's a good idea someone is spreading misinfomation about kidney stones and making others think it's allright to be lax on their protein?)




Just thought you guys might get a kick out of this.


-Shane

And no, it's not everyone, but compared to the men's forum you really get the feeling that people can say whatever they want with absolutely nothing to back it up with and even if it's bad advice that could cause others to make bad decisions or even hurt themselves nobody will say a word, wouldn't want to hurt anyone's feelings.

On the men's board guys are supportive, but I feel like there is a lot more respect for the truth. You know, the actual proven truth, not just what FEELS like the truth to someone.

Quick, somebody say something rational before I lose it

Run don't walk to the nearest exit.  While there may be some good info on some of the other boards, it does seem that they are more concerned with being an emotional crutch than they are with providing good advice, or an emotional kick in the butt. Support may help, or lack of support may hurt, but ultimately the person putting the oreo in their mouth is the person responsible.  As soon as people realize they are responsible for their own actions (I'm guilty from time to time), the sooner they can begin to modify their own destructive behavior. Good luck in dealing with that board. Scott

It ain't much better on the RNY board. Admittedly, I haven't been over there enough to harvest juicy tidbits of information like you have here, but the emotionalism and outright pettiness is pretty damned awesome. I'm not sure that being bug**** crazy has anything to with my fight with obesity, but it seems like there is a high corrolation in the XX population. There was a gal over there the other day that actually made the statement that she thought there ought to be scales at nightclubs and the bouncers should not admit any woman over 170 lbs. Cause she hates going out to the clubs now that she's skinny and seeing all the obese women enjoying themselves on the dance floor. Now to be quite honest, a whole mess of women tore her ass up for having that attitude, but there were some who jumped in and defended her and confessed to fantasies of commiting even more gross civil rights violations. There were others that supported the opposing view to such an extreme extent as to demonize men for preferring non-obese women to obese women in the "pick up and take home from the club at closing time" dept. I wanted to wade in to that one and note that just because a woman is the size of Hiroshima doesn't mean that any of us would want to hit it like the Enola Gay. But I didn't. There are some hornet's nests that are better left unstirred. Last time I looked at the thread, it was up to about 130 posts. I'm not sure I'd want to meet some of these hussies in the real world.

I've been on mulitple boards, but not the VSG board. But I've also found a few posts that are "out there" and get on a bandwagon about certain things. Not everything works for everbody, and not everbody has the same taste in food or protein supplements.  I attend 3 support meetings per month, and I find these very helpful. At all meetings, probably 90% of those attending are women. I think that women are probably higher in number from weight loss surgeries, and they'll also outnumber men on most of the boards too.  So a lot of the "touchy, feely" posts are because of a woman's instincts.  I try to offer suggestions I've learned in the last 2 years since RNY--those that I've learned from my surgeon, my own experience, my support groups, and Internet research.  I see so many posts that can be answered by a 30 second trip "down Google lane".  Ignoring your surgeon's recommendations is plain stupid. If I heard my surgeon say something I didn't think was right for me, I'd ask for a clarification right there. Many post about how much protein, water, food intake should you have during the first few weeks post op.  My surgeon gave his patients plainly printed instructions of food quanties, vitamins, protien intake, hydration, and the importance of exercise.   Some of these women even go to Mexico or other countries to find "a surgery on sale", and then grip about not finding any surgeon to work with them in the US????  I guess it takes all kinds to make this world go around, but sometimes you really have to wonder about some people.  Rumors abound about weight loss surgery. Many "cut and paste" exerpts from some off the wall web page they've found. No data to back up the claim, no reference to scientific tests--just a post to alarm others who view that forum.  So rumor mongering is among these forums, just like the tabloids.

been there done that. story here. i never wander from this site but someone pointed to a "lightweight" site so i went over and introduced myself. well, 50 posts later i was welcomed but not without a little drama. some of them posted they welcomed some testostorone over there. i laughed. i was careful to mention them as women. so when i replied to that one i playfully said something like, wow, look at all these great girls. well, out come the fangs. this one prune decides they are all "women" and don't come back if all they are to me is "girls". some of the women were very cool and tried to back her off. i apologized but pointed out i called them women and i also decided not to pounce on her but remain calm. she ended up saying something concilliatory but the damage was done for me. i couldn't even crack a simple yet respectful joke without bull **** coming my way. so i gave up and never posted again and never will on this site other than here. never!

now i've met plenty of very cool women here. some are more than welcome to post here if you ask me. but they are the exception. well, let me say this in all fairness. it was only one women who tried to ruin it on that other site, all the others were very cool and i would have liked to stay there. however, i couldn't be myself which is what they wanted. if i came off like i do here it would be just a couple more posts before i was told what an insensitve **** sucker i was. so what's the point? better to stay here and be a jerk off. you guys already know i can't help it! carbonblob

I'd say that you have already lost way too much time fretting over these *****es - they are nut-jobs   Trying to help them, or just find a rational pattern to their constant drizzle of bat-**** is about as easy as herding cats. Your well-intentioned interventions will only result in further frustration, and they will resent you for it.  Best to crack a cold one and turn on some Nascar when their kind is in the vicinity.

Women on some of the forums get outraged when you post medical facts....peer reviewed data and such.  I really am grateful for the women on the DS forum, perhaps the DS raises your testasterone levels because they are a great bunch...and will rip people to shreds that start to post in accurate info that has no documented backing. Scott

If it's like that on the VSG board, I'd just stay the heck away from it. Who needs all that?

Of course you're right, you're all right. The reasons I keep an eye on the VSG forum is that every surgery is a little different outcome and set of hurdles to clear on the way there. I was hoping to run into other men who have had the VSG and there are a couple who have been very helpful but both VSG, and men having weightloss surgery are the minority.

Luckily, most of the stuff you guys talk about here applies regardless of the type of surgery.