sometthing to smile about

George L.
on 4/2/08 3:11 am - Canada

The following was  a commentary by Charles Adler on the CORUS radio network yesterday, April 1, 2008 Why do men die first? This is a question that has gone unanswered for centuries, but, now we know. It requires a bit of explanation, first:

If you put a woman on a pedestal and try to protect her from the rat race ... you're a male chauvinist.

If you stay home and do the housework ... you're a pansy.

If you work too hard ... there's never any time for her.

If you don't work enough ... you're a good-for-nothing bum.

If she has a boring repetitive job with low pay ... this is exploitation.

If you have a boring repetitive job with low pay ... you should get off your lazy behind and find something better.

If you get a promotion ahead of her ... that is favoritism..

If she gets a job ahead of you ... its equal opportunity.

If you mention how nice she looks ... its sexual harassment.

If you keep quiet ... its male indifference. If you cry ... you're a wimp.

If you don't ... you're an insensitive *******

If you make a decision without consulting her ... you're a chauvinist.

If she makes a decision without consulting you, she's a liberated woman.

If you ask her to do something she doesn't enjoy ... that's domination.

If SHE asks you ... it's a favor.

If you appreciate the female form and frilly underwear ... you're a pervert. If you don't ... you're gay.

If you like a woman to shave her legs and keep in shape ... you're sexist. If you don't ... you're unromantic.

If you try to keep yourself in shape .... you're vain. If you don't ... you're a slob. I

If you buy her flowers ... you're after something. If you don't ... you're not thoughtful.

If you're proud of your achievements ... you're full of yourself. If you aren't ... you're not ambitious.

If she has a headache ... she's tired. If you have a headache ... you don't love her anymore.

If you want it too often ... you're oversexed. If you don't ... there must be someone else.

Why do men die first?

 

BECAUSE THEY WANT TO! Have a good day, George

JFish
on 4/2/08 3:24 am - Crane, TX
Heh. A variation on the old heads I win tails you lose game. Controling the language of the argument is becoming harder and harder for us guys. I got this one in the email this morning. It made me laugh: A 5 year old little boy is taking a bath and playing with his junk. His mom comes in and he asks her, "Mom, is this my brain?" She replies, "No. Not yet."
The free man owns himself. He can damage himself with either eating or drinking....... If he does he is certainly a damn fool, and he might possibly be a damned soul; but if he may not, he is not a free man any more than a dog.
Boner
on 4/2/08 3:51 am - South of Boulder, CO
Damn, that is an extremly comprehensive list, George. For the fear of being considered insensitive, that's all I will say about your list.   Boner
(deactivated member)
on 4/2/08 7:50 pm - uranus, CA
RNY on 09/19/06 with
I offered my wife some advice when we first met: Confuscious say, "Woman who put man in doghouse, soon find him in cathouse".
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