Friday Fitness Fun Fact

As weight go up, sex goes down or in our case, sex goes up when weight goes down It’s no secret that the unhealthy American diet is contributing to an epidemic of obesity. But there’s another hidden epidemic that our fatty diets are at the root of: a national sex crisis. In 1996, the average American had sex 138 times a year. Compare that to 2007, when people reported having sex just 85 times a year. That's a staggering 38 percent decrease in a little more than a decade. Furthermore, psychologists estimate that as many as 1 in 5 couples are in a sexless marriage, which means sex less than 10 times a year. In other words, our sex drive is in a deep dive. One of the big culprits, for both men and women, is obesity. As a person's weight soars, their libido plummets due to biochemical changes that result in diminished bloodflow—there's simply no sex without strong bloodflow. And even when Americans do manage to have sex, the extra weight they're bringing to the bedroom also hinders their ability to have children—with men, it's damaged sperm; with women, it's ovulation problems.  The good news: You can revitalize your sex life and reinvigorate your relationship. How? First, as you consume filling foods with fewer calories, you'll begin to shed the weight that's dragging down your desire. Then, because these foods also contain ingredients and nutrients that strategically boost sexual attraction and performance, you'll squeeze even more satisfaction out of each and every sexual encounter.  Mens Health

I easily beat those annual sexual episode averages by a ****ry mile  Only one question or two: does someone else actually have to be in the room with you when the activities occur to count towards your average?  Can you get partial credit if a woman is there "by proxy"... say, if a guy were to utilize an admittedly dog-eared copy of "****ty Midgets"?  Do blow up dolls or pocket ******* count?  rubber sheep?  real sheep??  (Hey! it's not so baaaaaaaaaaaad  ) How about a water glass filled with liver, can't a brother get some credit if a part of a farm animal participates?  How about if  you cook the liver for a hot neighbor later that evening?  I'm thinking that probably defaults into the oral sex category.....  I think that this survey may have been skewed by the elimination of normal, everyday sexual practices and other Harmless Hobbies.  Maybe we can ask Atty Dallas to review the fine print   

I always use former President Clinton's standard definitions of sexual relations ("I never had sexual relations with THAT woman"). Accordingly, I believe your laundry list of sexual activities (no matter how perverted) would NOT qualify using his standard. Sorry for the bad news, you loser. As you suggested, we probably need to call on the counselor for an official ruling in this matter. Boner

Boner, thanks for the definition... but it has no impact on my score.  I was only asking to help out a friend of mine (yeah, that's it.... that's the ticket!).       My question was posed as yet another example of my self-less Public Service efforts for the benefit of those who are too shy to ask these types of in-depth questions.  My good advice for female troubles would be another example.....

As Bill Murray said in the movie Stripes, "Lee Harvey. I want to party with you."